I'm sorry I'm not here...

A bit of lazy blogging tonight. My mate Steve in Toronto sent me these today which I thought were kind of topical and certainly worth sharing.

Ten suggestions for "Out of Office" messages:

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged 5.99 for the first 10 words and 1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over...)

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I've run away to join a different circus.

10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille' instead of Seany...

Spoke too soon...

Further to my wittering a couple of posts ago, I finally received a letter today telling me that I didn't get the job. Disappointing maybe, but at least my judge of character is still on track - I thought it very unlikely that they would never reply at all. And clearly, my judge of character is far better than theirs!

Judging from Paul's comment to my previous post, it appears that it may not have proved such a prudent move if it had worked out. At least I'll take great consolation from that until the next opportunity comes along.

Of course, I guess this also means that perhaps Little Sis is right and everything really does happen for a reason...

Hedging my bets...

I made a rare trip into my greenhouse this afternoon.

Dad put a lot of work into repairing and replacing some fence panels in my back garden earlier this year and I even made the effort myself to re-treat them all a few days later. It's not a job I relish repeating particularly so I decided I would shop around for some suitable hedging to grow around the lawn, initially to support the panels against the strong winds that we seem prone to, but eventually to replace the need for them entirely.

Now the grounds to Seany Towers aren't that extensive but it looked as though I would be looking for around 20-30 plants and I've been suitably horrified at what it was going to cost - even with my internet bargain hunting skills.

So this afternoon I set to raiding the green and golden leylandii that border the front lawn and armed with a new bag of potting compost and some organic rooting compound, started off 20 cuttings. My horticultural skills are hardly notable so as a back up, Dad is also starting some cotoneaster cuttings from their garden to add to mine.

The really disturbing thing is that it wasn't entirely the unpleasant chore I'd anticipated and I'd hate to think that I've already approached the age where I'm happy pottering around in my greenhouse on a weekend...

Just coincidence...

It's been a lousy week at work, everyone has become ultra demanding and impatient and it hasn't helped that for a number of reasons I've been a one man department since Wednesday lunchtime.

I've not mentioned it on here before, but whilst browsing the net a few weeks ago I stumbled across a job vacancy that looked right up my street. I was certainly well qualified, it was a welcome change from what I do now and it was considerably nearer home.

Admittedly, I spent a lot of time preparing but I couldn't have asked for a better interview. If I say so myself, I confidently delivered well prepared answers for everything they asked but in a sufficiently understated was as to not seem too cocky. The tone was professional, yet somehow relaxed and despite discussing the difficulties to be expected in the role, we all still managed to find time for a laugh here and there.

A couple of days later, I was asked to return to complete an assessment test which although much tougher than I'd anticipated, I still managed to complete with appropriate responses in the time allocated and they seemed quite pleasantly surprised that I'd done so. I'd also discovered during the process than from the hundreds of applicants, I'd made it into the last six. On the way out, they explained that I should expect to hear something in the next week.

I have to admit I was feeling incredibly confident at this point, but pride always comes before a fall as they say. With no word after a couple of weeks I'd become resigned to the fact that something hadn't gone to plan (well not mine at least), but still maintained a glimmer of hope in that the previous events had been carried out so professionally so surely they wouldn't just leave it at that.

On advice from a few people, for the first time in my life I sent a follow up mail. Now I'd always thought this would be considered pushy, but apparently it's common practise nowadays and is seen as as indication that you are keen to join their organisation. They replied immediately thanking me for my mail and saying they would be in contact again soon.

It's now five weeks since the test and I don't care what anyone says, to contact them again would come across as either too pushy, or needy and pathetic; neither of which are personas that I wish to convey particularly. Sure, I'm really disappointed that I didn't get the job, but I'm even more disappointed that I've heard nothing from them at all just to close the deal one way of the other.

So life goes on, but it didn't help this evening when an unexpected police detour practically took me past the doorsteps of two of their premises - surely that was just my imagination. Then, about half a mile from home, I paused to let a range rover out into the traffic, only to see as it went past, the registration plate was personalised to the name of this company's proprietor; not just initials, but initial and full surname.

Fortunately (!), I'm currently covering 5 people's work and there's no sign of that letting up any day soon, so that should keep me from wondering how close I was to escaping...

A week in a few words,,,

Ridiculous workload kept the days occupied

Facebook kept the evenings occupied

Food, beer and a couple too many JDs and Glayvas took care of Friday evening

Baz singing Elvis (I believe his best show yet) helped us to wish Shaunna good luck as she left the Tap last night to pursue her culinary career

And here I am on Sunday evening ready to face it all over again...

OK, they've got me...

I posted last November about my reluctance to get involved with any of these social networking sites, but I confess that Facebook is finally starting to win me over.

Not least for the fact that Little Sis roped me in to join in the Parking Wars game which although quite simple to play, has quite an addictive charm to it (except when the pair of them keep fleecing me with extortionate parking tickets).

That aside, there are some amusing features and applications on there which provide a timely distraction to the chores I would usually be up to on a weekend

Unfortunately, my continued attempt to retaining a little anonymity on here prevents me from posting a link to my Facebook page but to those who do know me beyond the blog, please feel free to look me up and join in the fun...

Hola Amigos...

I'm back from my latest travels and the 30 Things... list has been updated accordingly.

As predicted it was one of the usual whirlwind visits with most of my time in Spain spent in either a meeting room, taxi or hotel room. What little I did see of Barcelona as it whizzed past the car window, I have to say looked well worthy of a return visit at a more leisurely pace sometime.

There was one more time honoured tradition to be upheld and that was to take the hour or so we did have spare on Monday night and find some good quality nosh. We were recommended to the Casa Fonda Europa and I have to say they didn't disappoint.

I took the usual opportunity of trying something different and started with a tapa of sardine and anchovy which set the taste buds up nicely to be followed by veal cheeks and pears for my main course, finishing with a medieval cheese and mint desert. I'll admit that the unusual combinations were the initial attraction, but I thoroughly enjoyed every last morsel of each course all the same.

Ever mindful of the six hour meeting scheduled the following morning, we all agreed that perhaps a small glass of beer was a more appropriate accompaniment than bottles of the local vino but the beer was the only non-Spanish element of the whole evening. I even got to try out a bit of the lingo with the waiters and taxi drivers with surprising success.

Sure enough, around 24 hours after arriving, we were boarding our Jet2 737 again and heading back to blighty. Incidentally, the jet we flew out on was called "Jo Whiley", but unfortunately I didn't notice whether we had the same one coming home. I only mention it as I was desperate to be able to come home, telling people we'd had a successful trip to Spain and that as an unexpected bonus, I had ridden Jo Whiley both ways...

Bright and early start...

I'll not deny there is a certain smug sense of satisfaction I get by getting an early start to a Saturday after a Friday night in.

By 8:30 this morning, I'd been up and out to the bank (ok, cashpoint), took a look at Cleethorpes market (which for future reference is deserted at 8:00am), whizzed round the supermarket for a few essentials for next week and got a load of washing done and out.

The plan for the rest of today? Well after the delicious plate of kippers I polished off for breakfast, I'll be trying to fight off the thirst and stay out of the pub this afternoon, added to which, I really ought to be getting things ready for my trip next week.

On top of the additional responsibilities at work that kick in on Monday morning, I have a meeting with one of our major customers just outside Barcelona. On the plus side it will provide the excuse to add Spain to the list of countries visited on my 30 Things... list.

Unfortunately, we are on a tight schedule and will only be there for about 24 hours so given the fact I will also need to sleep, I expect I will only see about as much of Spain as I saw of Mexico last September...

5/31- must try harder...

The sort of title you'd expect to see on Little Sis' blog really.

We're into August and I've just realised that I only posted five times last month; officially the slackest month on here since I started in November 2004. Tut tut indeed. The problem is, there's a story I'm dying to share with everyone but the time just isn't right yet, not wanting to tempt fate or providence by spouting off too soon.

I've got a quiet weekend planned this week seeing as we've just had a couple of busy ones. Two weeks ago we "had" to be out on the Friday night to catch the collection for Dave and Rose at the Tap, then on the Sunday we went back for the football team barbecue and presentation from the aforementioned collection. Although obviously pleased with their presents, it was somewhat premature as despite the fact we know they are leaving at some point in the near future, nobody (including them) knows exactly when.

Last weekend started with joining Do-Ron to celebrate his birthday. You've got to admire the guy, 80 years old and he is still partying like a good 'un. Seeing as Dom was down from Middlesborough for the event, we thought it might be fun for Dave, Dom and I to recreate the excellent night out in Cleethorpes we had a few years ago. After a couple of liveners in the Tap, we headed for the Eastern Delights in Cleethorpes market place for the best Indian meal I can recall for a long time. From there we headed to the smallest pub (stopping for a quick refreshment stop en route) as we'd been told there was a mini beer festival in progress.

We caught a couple of pints at the festival before he started shutting up shop, from which point it appeared the ringing of bells calling last orders chased us the whole length of the resort back to the high street. That said, it was gone 2:00 in the morning when I jumped into a cab so the bells can't have been chasing us that closely. Not that it mattered as Dave and Dom are both excellent company, capable of glugging plenty of beer while conversation roams from the state of the economy, how the job market has changed in recent years to the perennial favourite of naming all manner of female celebrities that no matter how unlikely, "you still would".

And here we are today, in August already. The atmosphere at work is a strange one right now. The senior in my department left today after thirteen years with the company and his workload is headed my way. One of our accounts girls also left today after four years and one of the key account managers who looks after one of our most "challenging" customers has handed her notice in.

There have been a few of these departures of late, they will all be missed in different ways for different reasons and although I wish them all luck individually, there's no escaping the dilution of knowledge and experience that they leave behind. It seems that those who aren't actually working their notice are actively taking a second look at their future. On a purely selfish note, it frustrates me for reasons that probably wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out.

Perhaps it's just time to go off and busy myself with another silly Seany head-bobbing animation again...

Move over Doctor...

I realised this week that I have unwittingly stumbled across the secret of time travel.

Travelling forwards in time has always been straightforward, as long as you maintain a steady speed of one second per second. And many is the Friday night that I've gone to bed, only to wake up on Saturday at a time several hours further into the future than I had expected.

With regard to travel in the opposite direction, our file server crashed at work this week. Twice. Losing several days worth of valuable work in the process. Ultimately resulting in my suddenly finding myself doing exactly the same things that I was in the previous week.

Unfortunately I was a little to distracted to make the observation at the time...

Playing Silly Bees...

I heard this song on Chris Evans' show last week and for some reason, I was immediately struck with the idea of adding another one of my silly animations to it. Now admittedly, I usually save these events to mark the passing of a significant number of blog visits, but to be honest, I'm not sure exactly where it stands.

The Bravenet (musical) counter appears to have been stuck on 24,677 for quite some time now and I've only just discovered why this evening (yes, I have been getting visitors). According to Sitemeter, it's only 24,562 and to add to the confusion, eXTReMe Tracking make it 24,786.

Not that it really matters anyway so firstly my continued thanks to those responsible for [nearly] 25,000 visits and for no other reason than a bit of midweek silliness, I give you my latest offering...

Busy doing nothing...

There's a very good reason why I've not posted anything for a couple of weeks - basically there's been nothing much to tell.

Work has been up to its usual standard, the Friday teatime tradition of a bite to eat and a few beers in the Tap has been kept, no progress on the diet but I haven't gained any either so I'll take some consolation from that.

The Wii hasn't seen much activity but I have been doing some serious catching up with TV. Over the last two weekends I've managed to watch both series of Life on Mars and the first series of The Big Bang Theory. Well it's free entertainment on Virgin Catch Up TV so you might as well take advantage. I couldn't stop watching Life on Mars as I was desperate to find out how it ended and couldn't stop watching Big Bang Theory as aside from being quite funny, it stars the gorgeous Kaley Cuoco.

Beside that, I have one other project simmering away in the background that I hope to be able to share on here soon, so there's the obligatory suspense ending to try and entice you all to keep looking in...

I would have written sooner...

You would have thought that with a week off work, I would have found a bit of time to pop on here and keep you updated with what's happening but I seem to have been a bit preoccupied.

Where were we last? Right, Tuesday and I'd just finished treating the fence. Well after a quick trip out first thing Wednesday morning, I picked the folks up for a tour of a few garden local centres. No I can't believe I spent any of my holiday doing that either, but all is well with the world - I still don't enjoy the places much. Still, it did provide an excuse to take them out for a spot of lunch which was dutifully washed down with a few well chosen ales.

Friday's events started with a phone call from the most experienced member of my team saying that he'd put his notice in. Sure it was disappointing but there was little I could do about it before returning on Monday so I set forth for the real ale trail in Grimsby and Cleethorpes I'd been planning with Rich and Delcatto. Needless to say, a good time, delicious fish & chips and a plethora of tasty ales were had by all.

Yesterday was my chance to get the usual weekly household chores and shopping done before settling down for the evening to discover the fate of Doctor Who and his companions (and then of course flipping over to BBC3 to catch all of the happenings behind the scenes in Doctor Who Confidential).

I thought I would probably get around to posting something this evening, but then I flicked the TV over just to see how the men's Wimbledon final was shaping up. Even though I only joined it towards the end of the fourth set, I have never seen the like of it in my life - it was an awesome match; both players on excellent form and worthy champions in their own right.

And I guess it's too late to start writing now, so I guess I'll have to leave the blog for another day...

Please don't take a fence...

A couple of weekends ago, I decided to treat myself to four 5lt bottles of fence treatment and a pump sprayer (some treat eh?!) but today is the first chance I've had to get out in the sunshine and play.

I can't honestly say that "it does exactly what it says on the tin", because for starters I bought it in bottles and secondly it was the cheapo own label stuff. Four minutes per panel it said, but it seemed a bit sketchy about the fact that you still need to run a brush over the stuff to even it out after the spray is so patchy.

Still, a couple of hours later, eleven panels treated and my utter amazement it's dried out evenly, they look as good as new and all a matching shade of golden chestnut.

As a bonus they also match a lot of the border, several patches on the patio, my hands, feet and jogging bottoms, not to mention next door's conservatory...

I suppose it's only a song...

I can't say I'm much of a fan of our national anthem, with the possible exception of Brian May's instrumental interpretation of it.

For that matter, I'm afraid I can't admit to being particularly patriotic either. I've nothing against the royal family but they hardly stir up any sense of national pride for me and neither does the sound of the opening bars of God Save the Queen.

Now the American national anthem is another story altogether; there's something about The Star Spangled Banner that just feels truly anthemic. I've only been over there a couple of times so I hardly qualify (nor am I tempted) to apply for citizenship, but whenever their anthem is played it really seems to invoke an atmosphere of national pride among Americans.

A few years ago, the Dixie Chicks ruffled a few feathers with their comments about George Bush but I think their version of their anthem for the 2003 Superbowl was truly moving. Take a look at this...

Slow but sure...

I had an enjoyable, if typically excessive night out last night so today has been a predictably quiet one.

Result of the day though was discovering this morning that I've finally passed my next weight loss milestone having lost over two and a half stone now. There is still some way to go but it's reassuring to think that my persistence is paying off albeit a bit slower than I might like.

It's funny, when the scales were moving in the opposite direction, I hardly remember weighing 16 stone-anything at all, but on the way down its taken 14 weeks to shed it again. Still, all of the advice seems to say that it's better to lose weight in little and regular amounts.

Of course, it's easier when I'm in my usual weekly routine of diet and exercise so it will be interesting to see how I fare next week while I'm off work...

Storm before the calm...

It must be a gift, I can't figure out how they do it.

It occurred to me when I got to the office this morning that I've barely touched my holiday allocation for this year and we are nearly halfway though. Little wonder I'm knackered.

So unbeknown to anyone else, I studied my Outlook calendar, the office holiday planner, found three weeks with nothing much planned (the first one being next week) then dropped a quick email to my manager for sign off and approval.

My request can hardly have left my PC when the influx started. The rush jobs started to pour in, all time consuming, all jobs that nobody can really do but me and for some reason, all need completing by the end of the month, or by the end of Q2, i.e. by Friday.

It always seems to work that way - you work yourself into a frenzy preparing for a week off, then endure a week of the same catching up when you get back. Still, holidays just have to be taken (we have a use 'em or lose 'em policy) so I'm making amends by planning my activity accordingly for next week.

What have I got planned for the week? Well it sounds a bit like the shipping forecast zone between Shannon and Bailey...

Tap into the weekend...

This afternoon's activities have been mostly Tap related, but for once I haven't been to my favourite pub or even revisited one of my favourite films, I have been on a quest for one of these:

This is a ceramic tap gland and if it makes you feel any better, I hadn't seen one quite like this until a couple of weeks ago either. Any taps I've dismantled before had a simple rubber washer that could be replaced in an instant, but no, I had to inherit taps that were different. Surely all I had to do was just nip down to B&Q and get a replacement?

Incidentally have you every tried to use the B&Q website? It's about as user unfriendly as you could dream of, but fortunately, the people in store are usually the exact opposite.

Today was no exception - I showed the existing one to the assistant who readily explained the difference between the four seemingly identical replacements I had in my hand. The only difference apparently being the splines at the top which are designed to fit a multitude of tap levers and handles and as nobody seems to have established any standards, this in turn means there a lot of different ones.

Long story short, after 20 miles of to-ing and fro-ing in the car, lots of helpful people but nobody stocks the model I need so I came home and re-fitted the original again. Except that for some reason it doesn't drip anymore. I ought to be delighted that I've saved some money but on reflection I'm probably worse off when I think of the petrol I've used...

Not that I'm really interested...

It's no secret that I have little interest in club football and with no UK participants, the European cup tournament wasn't likely to capture my imagination. All the same, I agreed to take a team in the office sweep stake and was less than impressed when I unfolded the slip of paper and read "Turkey".

Then Tuesday morning, Rob (the sweep organiser) called across "not such a bad draw after all then?". Completely oblivious to the action the night before, he updated me on the remarkable comeback from 2-0 down against Czech Republic to win 3-2 in the closing minutes.

So I feigned a little interest this evening as I was home and had the second half on the TV while I caught up on the aforementioned blog reading. It seemed they hadn't managed another last minute escape and with the score still at 0-0 they went into extra time. With only a minute or so to go, Croatia scored with the commentator exclaiming "...and the last minute heroes are themselves knocked out in the closing minutes" but apparently not, Turkey still managed to cram in an equaliser with literally seconds to spare.

On to penalties where it had to be said they won more convincingly (if a game could ever be won convincingly by penalty shoot out). So who knows? They face Germany next who will hardly be a pushover but if they get though that game I'm looking at a windfall of at least 16 quid. Woohoo!

And if I win I might just spend it all on kebabs...

And here's another thing...

I thought I would also take the chance tonight to start catching up on my blog list on the left, many of which I have been neglecting for longer than I care to admit.

So far I'm only down to the second one and Birdman led me to this excellent article...

Musical Interlude...

OK, so now you're over the initial shock that I've decided to stay on on a Friday night, take a little look at this.

The Fratellis set a competition on YouTube inviting anyone to send in covers of their favourite Fratellis song and fortunately for us, Stevie Riks decided to send one in. I'm sure I've told you all about Stevie before, he's something of a YouTube celebrity and quite frankly it's about time we saw him get a slot on prime time TV.

Anyway, here is his video and there is something very wrong in the world if it doesn't get first prize...

Quite surprising really...

It's turned out to be a day full of surprises today; some nice ones and some not so.

Nice: Despite last night's little sojourn to my favourite hostelry, I woke up really early this morning completely free of any ill effects.

Not so: Bathroom scales still moving in the wrong direction. (OK, I always said weekends don't count)

Nice: Took advantage of the bonus waking hours by getting the breadmaker and washing machine going then set off to Tesco to join the inevitable queue for petrol. But there wasn't one. And hardly anyone in the supermarket itself for that matter so home again and unpacked before 8:00am

Nice: Managed to get the car loaded up to return Dad's tools that he'd left in my garage and found a parking space right outside their house. In the town centre. On a Saturday morning.

Nice: Whilst there I learned that Delcatto's "have a go hero" antics from Thursday paid off with his would be assailant destined for a court appearance. Good on yer Delcatto - a lesson for us all there perhaps.

Not so: Also whilst there I discovered my mobile phone had started playing up again. A few times in recent weeks the earpiece stopped working so you coudn't hear dialling tones or voices at the other end without turning the external speaker on - not much use for private conversations.

Nice: Of course, that was all the excuse I needed to treat myself to a new one

Not so: I'd kept to the same network and manufacturer to help transition of numbers etc. but this new one just wasn't playing. Looked like a very boring afternoon's work ahead.

Nice: Persistence paid off

Not so: I was interruped mid cursing at phone/laptop by the postman. What could they want? I've nothing due for delivery. Well not for a few days at any rate.

Nice: Turned out it was a present from Pete Frenzy who very kindly sent me a St Louis Cardinals calendar. Thanks very much Pete - I guess I can finally take the 2007 arch calendar down from the kitchen wall!

Not so: On the subject of the USA, I thought I should check on the cactus seeds I brought back with me. Having finally got around to planting them a couple of weeks ago, they've since failed to show any signs of life.

Nice: I would appear to be the owner of a new prickly pear! (even though it must be all of 5mm tall).

Nice: We don't usually do Father's Day in our family (his choice as it is purely commercial), but as he has been really helpful replacing my fence over the last few weeks, I've invited Mum & Dad over for Sunday roast tomorrow. The beef is done and chefs prerogative titbits would indicate it's going to be another tasty one.

So here we are, dinner already prepped for tomorrow, two loaves baked and a third about to go in, after which I'm looking forward to a leisurely evening catching up with the Doctor's adventures.

Oh and I've finally set the ball rolling on another long overdue project, but I'll tell you more about that another time...

No shortage of stupidity...

This isn't the first time I've come on here to witter about irresponsible journalism and I highly doubt it will be the last.

As we all know, we are midway though a four day tanker driver strike in protest over pay and I have no issue with that; we are lucky enough to live in a society that allows us to take such actions when we feel unjustly done by.

So what is the first comment to come blurting out of the BBC news?
"There is no need for panic buying - there is plenty of petrol available as long as people don't panic buy"
Public reaction?
"Well if there's any chance at all of a shortage, I'm going to make sure I'm alright and top my tank up"

I know people who go weeks without having to top their petrol tank up. Others who just buy a tenners worth every now and then paying little attention to how much they are using. Little Sis has been known to go for years without having to buy petrol (sorry Sis - just kidding!). Seriously though, there are some of us who drive economical cars, have no feasible public means of travelling to work but genuinely need a tankful of petrol every week or so.

I'm not saying my case is special or that I personally deserve special treatment after all, I chose to apply for a job where I did, but the newsreaders blabbing on about "potential" shortages and drivers from other companies being turned around at picket lines is just spreading the widespread panic they purport to be warning against.

Many years ago in my supermarket shelf filling days, I remember someone putting the word about that there was going to be a pepper shortage and we just couldn't keep the stuff on the shelves. People were coming in and buying pots of pepper quite literally by the dozen. How much pepper can you possibly consume for fuck's sake? I think I've only ever bought two or three in the whole time I've been responsible for buying my own food.

I've a good mind to flush them all out by starting a rumour that white pepper becomes radioactive if stored for more than 20 years and see the fools who have still got tons of it go running to their local news stations.

Oops, I appear to have published such a ridiculous lie on the internet...

Anyone for tennis...

The weight loss appears to have hit another plateau despite my best efforts on diet and exercise. I'm quite happy to post on here when things are going well, but I admit it is frustrating when you are exercising hard and what little you are eating is the right stuff, yet there are no tangible results. Still, Rome wasn't built in a day and I don't expect a thinner Seany will be either.

Progress on the Wii tennis has provided an unexpected insight today though. Although I've finally broken through the 2000 skill level with no new competition in sight, I still doubt I'll be anywhere near Wimbledon this summer (unless I could persuade some of the furry litter patrol from the common to join me in a few verses of 70's nostalgia).

More than usual today, the incoming crap at the office was relentless and more kept pouring as fast as I could deal with any of it. Everything was going wrong, everything was critically important and all of it needed dealing with immediately. That's when the tennis analogy hit me; no matter ho hard I try and keep batting the balls elsewhere, there will always be somebody ready and waiting to serve up a load more.

Hey ho. Only two days to the weekend when I fully expect abstinence to become a stranger again for a few hours...

The master plan...

It's a simple plan for tomorrow really:

Get to work a little early

Get away from the office early

Get rid of a pint

Get that pint replenished with something tastier

Get a few more replenishment pints in just in case...

The power of advertising...

I was just sat in front of the telly minding my own business when an advert appeared for a Lexus Hybrid and although I wouldn't mind upgrading the car, I accept that those are well out of my league.

It was the music that caught my attention initially and the fact that it sounded like the same music from the Scottish Widows advert (not that I'm in the market for one of those either).

Now the internet being the wondrous thing that it is, I soon discovered that both companies were in fact using the same music in their advert and before I knew what was happening, I was facing a sudden compulsion to sell my guitar again...

Tea break over, back on your heads...

I returned to work this morning and within minutes of reaching my desk, it was as though I had never been away leaving me yearning for another holiday.

The 163 mails waiting in my inbox hardly came as a surprise and despite my leaving an out of office message on, people kept sending their mails in by the virtual sack load, presumably in the hope that I would return from my holiday early.

The perennial squabble fodder of the office air conditioning units reared its ugly head again while I was away, which I quickly dismissed again today with the indifference that it duly deserves.

There is still a plethora of secretive whispering about the place. Some changes are definitely afoot (not to mention long overdue) and there was a time when I would have been more concerned but experience reassures me they are most probably of little, if any, significance to day to day activities and in the meantime, it serves to make certain individuals feel important while they wander about with their encrypted mutterings.

On a brighter note, I managed to escape a couple of minutes early so that I can dedicate this evening to some serious me-time. Or if the local weather forecast is anywhere near the mark, some pretty prompt boat building.

The post title? Well it's such an old joke I just assumed everyone had heard it, but just in case, you can find it here...

You could have put money on it...

Well the week of carefree eating, drinking and running machine avoidance yielded predictable results. If the bathroom scales are to be believed (and they should be as I've just bought some new ones) I've managed to accumulate an additional 4lbs since last Friday.

Sure, it's a little disappointing perhaps but there are three very good reasons why I'm not overly concerned:

1) It was a weeks holiday and my idea of holiday is to focus on enjoying yourself with diet and exercise being the last things on your mind

2) My original target was to lose 1lb a week and even after last week, I'm still over 1lb ahead of target overall

3) I'm much more preoccupied right now with how I really don't feel like going back to work tomorrow...

And relax...

The 2008 birthday marathon is now over with a well earned break now until October when it will be my niece's ninth birthday.

It's been a busy month as always, but everyone seems really happy with the presents I selected this year: a Japanese puzzle box, an omnitrix, an ice candle, a robin tattoo and finally, an autographed photo of Brian May.

As a bonus, I've enjoyed having the family here for the best part of the last week and although we didn't travel very far, we all put the Wii through it's paces, which in turn provided the excuse to turn a blind eye to any thoughts of diet as we waded through plates of roast dinner, pizza, chicken curry and a barbecue, finishing this morning with our traditional cooked breakfast to set them up for the journey home.

It always takes me a while to wind down from the frenetic activity of playing host, so I did my best Taz impression for the rest of today and tore through the house but being still full from breakfast, opted to clean everything within reach as opposed to eating it.

I hope that decision makes a difference when I hop back on the bathroom scales tomorrow...

Open all hours...

To be honest, today could have got away to a better start.

I was awake bright and [ridiculously] early so I decided to take advantage, getting some fresh bread under way and preparing a few bits for our roast turkey dinner tonight. Inevitably there were a couple of things I'd overlooked when shopping yesterday, but as we have a couple of 24 hours supermarkets nearby I didn't think it would be a problem. I could nip out early, miss the crowds and be back home in plenty of time before the family arrives later this morning

That was until I discovered they aren't actually open 24 hours. I realise they have restricted opening hours on Sundays, although I still fail to understand why we are subjected to such commercial censorship. If it is important to you to reserve Sunday as a day of rest then fine, please yourself, but there is no shortage of people prepared to work Sundays and anyone who ventures to the shops on Sunday will testify to the lack of conscientious objectors from a consumer perspective.

Truth to tell, it is too politically sensitive for anyone to make the controversial decision of overruling the current hours so I guess we're stuck with them. But why were they not open early this morning? Apparently because it was a Bank Holiday yesterday? What difference is that supposed to make?

Would I work a Bank Holiday? Well like millions of others, I don't get any option as I am contractually obliged to do so and the only reason I didn't work yesterday is that I booked the whole week as annual leave. Oh and don't get me started on the public holidays we get compared to my European colleagues.

Rant over. Have a nice day...

Holiday fun...

You would think that people would have better things to do on a Bank Holiday afternoon than going food shopping, but apparently not - Tesco was packed to the rafters today.

My excuse was that from tomorrow I'll be catering for anywhere between five and seven rather than just little ol' me for a few days and I doubt my meagre provisions would have sufficed.

Anyway, everything's bought and packed away now so I intend to do a little as I can get away with for the rest of the day (although I suspect that Wii will play a part at some point).

In the meantime, there's an interesting looking film on the TV full of nuns, children and goats. If I'd known it was going to be on TV, I wouldn't have bothered going to the cinema to watch it all those years ago...

I love it when a plan comes together...

Hannibal would have been proud of yesterday- everything went to plan and we had an excellent day.

The biggest highlight had to be getting the birthday present for Mum who is now the worlds coolest (nearly) 70 year old with a newly tattooed arm. I was really proud as she sat there without a flinch for an hour and a half while Stewart worked his magic and produced a wonderfully detailed picture of a robin on her upper arm. I'll post a picture of it on here once it's fully healed.

It also came in well under budget, so we hopped into a cab, went to pick up Dad from my house where he'd been working on some of my fence panels and popped down to our local for lunch. The Farmhouse didn't disappoint again with a delicious luxury fisherman's pie, pannecotta with blueberries for pud, all washed down with a cracking pint of Black Sheep.

We left there to return home where I could change into something smarter for the evening, but spotted a bus approaching. The realisation hit me that with the money I'd save by taking the bus instead of a taxi (given that Mum & Dad travel for free), I could pick a new shirt in town, so Primark obliged accordingly.

Out to the Tap for tea where we met up with Faith and John for another superb meal, after which we returned to the bar where a whole host of other friends came to join us for an excellent night out. Liquid refreshment was largely in the form of a very tasty Raspberry Wheat Beer from Millstone Brewery, which despite checking in at 5.6%, left me feeling a lot brighter this morning than I would usually of expected.

I wonder if I could count those pints towards my five a day...

Let the fun begin...

I finished work today a little early, but a lot relieved that for the next week I'll not be setting foot in the place.

Regular visitors will probably be puzzled as to why then I am still sat at home on a Friday night tippety tapping on the PC instead of swilling ale as though someone was trying to take it away from me.

Well the simple truth is, tomorrow sees the start of Mum's 70th birthday celebrations. On her strict instructions there is to be no party but I have a really cool present lined up, Little Sis & family are on their way up next week and although it's not a party as such, we should be meeting up with a few friends tomorrow night where after a quiet meal we will no doubt have a drink or two.

I'd just like to mention for the record that today, before the festivities begin tomorrow, I am only one pound short of reaching my two and a half stone weight loss milestone. Now there's a challenge - I wonder how much of it I can put back on by next weekend...

What other day could it be...

I'm pleased to say I don't get nightmares often but something had obviously decided I was due one last night and it was a corker. It had everything any horror film would wish for - war, nasty things happening to the family, loads of gory violence, demonic possession, Westlife playing in the Tap. OK, I made the last one up but the rest were all too vivid and even though I realised I was dreaming, I couldn't wake myself up. Although of course I did eventually.

That pretty much set the tone for the day. Despite my efforts with diet and exercise, the scales refuse to budge (even with new battery) and keep moving in the wrong direction, I seemed to be scraping the last of everything to put a breakfast together, it took at least three attempts to leave the house because I kept forgetting things and I saw more near misses this morning due to maniacal driving than I can ever recall in one journey to work. The day in the office goes without further elaboration on my part - one of the usual.

I know I have my superstitious hangups and after all, today's date is only a number. I did some research on the net and it suggested I go and have a pint with my old neighbour - try ask Dec for a beer, or something like that. For the record ('cos I know he'll read this), I say "old" in reference to the fact that I don't live there any more rather than his age.

Well as the old saying goes, all bad things must come to an end. They don't say that? Well they did come to an end and despite it taking me three attempts to get home tonight being called away twice, I'm pleased to say that one of those distractions was to collect my Wii Fit Balance Board.

I can definitely see what all the fuss is about, I've had a whale of a time on there this evening, yoga, jogging, skiing, hula-hooping, ski-jumping, tightrope walking, step class and probably plenty of others I've not mentioned as well as loads of new activities which can only be unlocked through continued playing on there.

I've taken the opening tests and aside from being accused of having a Wii fitness age of 53 (cheeky blighters), my little Wii character has been redrawn to remind me that over two stone down or not, I'm apparently still a fat bastard with a lot of hard work ahead of me so there's a good chance I may never see beer or daylight again.

OK, we all know how likely that is but I can seriously see that at least I'm going to have some fun trying to work off the next few pounds...

Weekend in brief...

Wow - did you see that fantastic weather?

There's clearly something out of the ordinary going on when I'm out working in the garden in shorts and tee shirt instead if sitting inside at the PC telling you all about the things I should have been doing instead of going to the pub...

Panic buying...

It's been a predictably quiet bank holiday today after helping Little Em celebrate her 30th birthday last night. It had all of the ingredients of a great party - a good crowd of friends and family, delicious buffet, an abundance of fine ale and a disco playing music that we were more than happy to sing along with. After some persuasion from Amy I also got the chance to remind everyone what a crap dancer I am.

The journey home is a bit of a blur, but I clearly stumbled across an establishment with kebabs for sale at some point which provided a hearty breakfast this morning.

So, with little else to do today I decided to continue my quest for a Nintendo Wii Fit. I should have followed my initial instincts really and pre-ordered one before it was launched a couple of weeks ago because rather like the consoles a couple of months ago, the latest Wii must-have is as rare as the proverbial rocking horse droppings.

I've been using a stock checker site and could hardly believe my eyes when it told me that Dixons had just got some more in stock. I followed the link to the site and sure enough, it confirmed that they had some in stock so I wasted no time in hitting the buy now button. Then of course they wanted me to register with them so they needed my name, address, contact details, a password, etc., which was all taking rather too long for my liking.

Finally I reached the payment page and unwittingly selected a credit card I'd not used previously for online purchase which meant they also needed me to supply names, date of birth, card dates, new passwords, etc. It might seem that I was fretting unnecessarily, but I'd already been caught out once this weekend having tried to reserve my little nephew's birthday present on the Argos website only to find someone had narrowly beaten me to the last one. But the good news is that little nephew will be getting his new toy this month and in a few days time, so will I.

Oh and in case you are looking for one, Dixons are out of stock again already...

I'm feeling lucky...

Vanity is restored in the Seany household this evening.

I was chatting on the phone with Andy this evening who has just acquired a new laptop and had wireless broadband internet installed, but was struggling to find my blog. It seems his machine came with Yahoo as the preferred search engine and having looked on there myself this evening, it took me two or three attempts to track myself down as it were.

I recommended he try Google as I usually feature on the first page of results when searching for "Seany" although I had shuffled down the rankings somewhat since the arrival of the similarly named Big Brother contestant last summer.

It's been a while since I checked my Google rankings so I carried out the above search and was delighted to find I'm back in the top spot (although quite honestly, I'm not entirely sure how or why). The bonus of being the first result means I can now refer people to Google, to type the word Seany and then hit the "I'm feeling lucky" button which will bring them straight here.

Of course, if they are really lucky, they may also find something here worth reading...

Bolt from the blue...

OK, it may be a challenge getting hold of him sometimes but I turned up at the garage tonight, confessed to some serious twattery in the field of DIY car maintenance and walked out moments later with a selection of bolts and the advice from my mate "one of those should do the trick".

And at long last, I'm pleased to report it did...

On reflection...

I think it's fairly safe to assume that the feathered critter that decided to tweet it's last before launching at my wing mirror a few weeks ago has gone to the big aviary in the sky by now. If not, I would probably be on my way to the same spot now with a size 10 in hand preparing to secure a similar fate for it.

In fact, I actually quite like birds (yes, the feathered kind too) and could probably never have gone through with the aforementioned threat, but equally could never have forseen the trouble that resulted from that morning's incident.

The day it happened, I rang the dealership as soon as I got to the office and my mate told me he would see what he could do. You may have read on here that a few weeks later I gave up on un-answered messages, ordered a replacement on ebay and fitted it myself, which only left me with having to get the outer shell sprayed to match the rest of the car.

Apparently, up until a couple of years ago Ford colours were easy to track down but recently they decided to get cryptic and whatever references I could find could have been for one of a dozen different colours. Back on to my mate at the dealership when he suggested "well why don't you drop it in and I'll get one of the lads to spray it the right colour for you".

Very gratefully, I dropped the shell off agreeing to leave it a couple of days. Two days later, I called in and apparently they hadn't yet had a chance to spray it. The following Monday still nothing. The following Friday I called in to pick it up (whether painted or not), we went to the paintshop to be told "Oh good, I've been waiting for you to come in so I could match the colour to your car". Shame I didn't know this earlier really. Anyhoo, it was being done on the cheap as a favour so I swallowed my pride and agreed to leave it for a couple more days.

Tonight I collected it and to be fair, it looked great but apparently needed another hour or so to finish drying properly. Having got the thing home and patiently waited until after tea before fitting it, I noticed that a small wire had become trapped beneath the fitting plate so as I had a little time to spare this evening, I might as well put it right. When will I learn?

All came apart again very easily until I dropped the mounting bolt inside the door. Oh bollocks. Another 10 minutes unscrewing , fiddling, shoving and generally pissing about with the door interior, only to discover that the easiest way of getting it out was probably to take the entire door off and turn it upside down. Even if I was going to seriously entertain that idea, it had started to get dark so the only thing to do was replace the door interior, disconnect the mirror wiring and removing it again.

So tomorrow I begin the quest to find a replacement bolt to secure the wing mirror again - I wonder how many weeks that's going to take...

And did those feet in ancient times...

I was accompanied on the running machine this morning by the Winchester Cathedral Choir with a rousing rendition of Jerusalem. Quite amazing how we all managed to get on there really. OK, it was on the radio but I guess you'd already worked that out for yourselves.

Every year I bleat about this on here and yet this year, it's even passed me by. Yes folks, today should have marked the celebration of our national Patron Saint but there were no flags to be seen, barely a mention in the media and certainly no sign of a national holiday in sight.

Probably some PC brigade somewhere has decreed that it's no longer appropriate to display any sense of national pride. Well I'm certainly not out to offend anyone so for what it's worth, Happy St George's Day...

Let's be careful out there...

Well I've had a quick scan through the local newspaper's website tonight and can't see any stories about riots breaking out, or in fact anything for that matter that may have kept the police majorly preoccupied this weekend.

I was always brought up to respect the police and I'll openly admit that I'm quite happy that there are so many people prepared to do a job that I wouldn't. That said, we don't get to see much return for our exorbitant council tax and as a substantial wedge of it contributes towards providing a police presence, I think it's reasonable to expect one when needed.

Saturday night we had a [thankfully] rare occurrence of trouble outside the pub which Dave capably managed to bring under control although I'm sure he had better things to be doing on what was supposed to have been an evening off. I'm afraid it was the all too frequent story of a handful of spotty little booze and drug addled oiks who were so far removed from reality to believe they were invincible, although I'm pleased to report that it seemed to be more noise coming from their general direction rather than physical activity. Apart from when they started fighting amongst themselves that is. Hmmm.

While things were looking less comfortable, several people had already reached for their mobiles and called the police requesting assistance but whether non-emergency number or 999 was called, they were all told the same that nobody was available. I shudder to think that if things had turned ugly, there could have been several staff and regulars all at personal risk and no sign of any "official" back up from anywhere.

So I guess if nothing else newsworthy was going on, we can probably assume that the roads on the outskirts of town were free of speeding motorists...

Fun and mystery...

Friday night I took a drive to Clay Cross, just outside Chesterfield, for a long overdue visit to catch up with Andy, Sharon and little Laura. As some of the pubs there come with a bit of a reputation, we'd previously agreed that it was probably best just to stick to a couple of local ones and that we probably shouldn't have too much to drink in unfamiliar territory. Anyone who has ever been out with me and Andy will appreciate how incredibly improbable that scenario ever was.

Sharon prepared a delicious chicken dinner to set us up for the night, then off we wandered to the Park House Hotel where I got to sample a couple of ales from a new brewery to me - Copper Dragon IPA and 1816. The beer was good, bar staff and locals friendly and with promise of a live rock n roll band at 9:00pm, it didn't look as though we would stray much further.

Four pints later, we decided that it was a shame for me to have travelled this far and only tried one pub so we headed off to The Cannon which has a good reputation and we were told was only 10 minutes away. It was actually 10 minutes up and down hill and in the freezing cold but well worth the walk for a nice pint of Milestone All Rye Paddy.

The aforementioned premises actually sit at a cross roads; well it shares the cross roads with The George and Dragon and The Shoulder of Mutton so we had to call in and check them out too while we were there. Two more very nice pubs as it turned out so after sampling some of their fine ales we decided to go back where we started and catch the last hour of the band.

So up to this point it had been a pretty regular night out and we both set off for home, but somehow on this five-minute journey we got separated and we've no idea how. I suddenly found myself alone, wandering down a dark country lane with no idea where I was. If I hadn't had my TomTom with me, I'd probably still be wandering now. When I got back, I obviously couldn't get in the house without Andy and didn't want to disturb Sharon so I let myself into the car, set the seat right back and prepared for an uncomfortable nights sleep.

Moments later Andy appeared, in obvious discomfort and with cuts on his face that he couldn't explain. It turned out he also had two large grazes across his chest but as his wallet and phone were still intact we can only assume he took a fall somewhere and hadn't been mugged.

So, exactly what happened or how the pair of us got separated in the first place will just have to remain a mystery. Perhaps next time, we'd be better off staying in...

All change again...

So yesterday everything was "business as usual"; that is until mid afternoon when I started feeling a bit chilly. No problem, a quick nip around the house to close the windows and turn the central heating back on.

Within minutes I was suddenly feeling too hot. Then too cold, then too hot, then very tired, but too uncomfortable to sleep. Rounded off nicely with... ahem... rather too many urges to pay sudden visits to the bathroom. Oh-oh, man flu alert.

Cue a day off work today then to sleep loads, cough and sneeze loads, drink loads of hot drinks and generally not feel like eating much at all.

Seems to have paid off so far which is just as well as tomorrow morning I know there will be a a stack of things to get done at the office. Ahh there we go - back to business as usual...

Business as usual...

I was pleased to be able to save myself a bit of cash this week after having heard nothing about a replacement wing mirror, I took matters into my own hands and ventured forth onto e-bay. The last replacement I needed cost in the region of a hundred quid after fitting and re-spraying, but this time I've done it for less than forty by sourcing and fitting it myself.

Other than that the weekend hasn't brought much out of the ordinary. Friday night came with it's usual excess of ale and included another welcome return to the County for some fine ale and live music. I'm not about to desert the Tap any time soon, but it is refreshing to have a bit of a change of surroundings on my weekly night out.

Yesterday got off to an appropriately delicate start, but that quickly passed as soon as the bathroom scales revealed that I've now passed my two stone weight loss milestone. Of course the only way to celebrate had to be in the form of seafood pizza for tea.

This morning started early as I need to put the bread maker through it's paces today and having fitted the mirror unit in next to no time, I took advantage of having the car at the top end of the drive and gave it a good clean - for the first time in longer than I care to remember.

Of course now I've finished cleaning the car, the sky has shown every sign that it's about to sling it down with rain, as usual...

New toy alert...

After another impromptu cross country mystery tour driving home last Thursday and with the pending trip to visit Little Sis and family over the weekend, I decided it was time to indulge another one of my overdue wish list acquisitions and get my hands on one of them there sat navs.

Cue some last minute research and a little while later I was the proud owner of a TomTom Go 520, although I'm undecided as to whether it's a keeper just yet. I can't deny that it's a neat little gadget which aside from getting me very efficiently from A to B, it also got bluetooth connectivity and provides a much more efficient means of hands free telephony than poking and yelling into the little flashing blue thingy in my left ear.

The problem is that it's a relatively new model, yet I've already had to upgrade the accompanying software and re-install the device software on advice from the helpdesk when the map kept disappearing and being replaced with the menu screen mid-journey. Added to which, the touch screen appears to be somewhat temperamental. When it works, it's great but I'm concerned that sometimes it seems not to want to. I've spent two hours tinkering with it this evening, but if tomorrow's journey to work doesn't demonstrate any improvement, then the little box is going back.

It did give us the opportunity to take scenic detour on our trip to see Little Sis on Friday (where we had an excellent time incidentally) and we somehow stumbled across an Eddie Stobart depot at Daventry. Not a major event for most, but Mum and I usually pass the journey with some competitive Eddie spotting, so for several miles afterwards, there was a definite air of concern within the car that I'd pre-programmed it on purpose. Truth is, if you get to read this Mum, I was beating you by miles anyway so why would I want to cheat?

And you never know when you're going to see the next one, but they never seem to be too far away...

All change...

I could often be accused of taking things too literally.

By pure chance I happened to catch James Martin's closing comments on Saturday Kitchen yesterday and his reminder that the clocks were moving forward at 1 o'clock this morning. Nothing else on the news or on any websites I'd stumbled across yesterday. So this morning, once I'd done the rounds correcting everything in the house with a clock, I remembered to change the clock on the blog.

While I was at it, I thought that maybe it was time for a real change and decided to go for a new clock entirely. In fact while I was at it, I realised that the blog design hadn't changed since November 2006 so perhaps it was time for a spring clean and complete overhaul.

There's nothing too drastic gone on; just removal of a few obsolete/seldom used links and a new colour scheme. I've also added a new section for local My Spaces and although mine is on there,it's only for my continued amusement that apparently I have no friends!

Whilst on the subject of friends, I've added the MySpace for the band Second Nature, the lead singer of which just happens to be an old college mate of mine. In fact as of today he's an even older mate of mine as it's his birthday so if you're looking in Rich, 'ave a good 'un...

A slice or two...

This evening I've just enjoyed an excellent pizza for tea. So what made this particular pizza so special?

Was it slowly and lovingly crafted by a traditional Italian chef? Not as far as I'm aware; I think they are Turkish and it turned up only 25 minutes after my phone call.

Were the finest ingredients sourced from the far corners of the planet? Again I'm very doubtful as the takeaway itself is only in the next village.

No, today is the first time I've eaten pizza since I gave them up for lent a few weeks ago. Oddly enough, after 40 days without one of my favourite culinary indulgences, I just didn't fancy one last weekend, but tonight it hit just the spot.

After an abundance of fine ale last night and seafood pizza with garlic bread tonight, I think Sunday lunch had better be a light one tomorrow. To date I've managed to shed 24 pounds and it would be a shame to put it all back on again in one weekend...

Happy Monday...

I would hardly say that I was ecstatic when my alarm went off at 06:20 this morning but it turned out to be a good day today.

The threat of continued snow proved little more than a light dusting on the windscreen; the roads were practically clear (of ice and traffic) on the way to the office; nothing else launched itself at my car en route; there were only a handful of people who had gone in today so the office was quiet; the phone didn't ring once and I doubt if I received more than 6 new emails all day.

I left the office right on time having achieved much more than I can most "normal" days where I work several hours longer into the evening; was home in front of the TV having eaten a cooked tea by 6 o'clock and to round it all off kicked some animated ass at Wii tennis this evening.

I accept that it would be boring if every day was exactly the same but I'm sure I could get used to a few more of these...

A Happy Easter...

I thought a more cheery post was a bit overdue and this weekend has obliged just nicely.

Admitted, Friday night was a bit (!) excessive but it was great to catch up with Andy, Sharon and Kirsty who were all in town and I have vague recollections of enjoying some live music along the way. As a result, Saturday was considerably quieter but I still managed to get just about everything prepped in advance for Mum and Dad coming around for dinner today, albeit at the expense of a second night out.

The trip out in several inches of snow to collect them this morning was a bit unconventional perhaps but after a brief detour to get rid of their old TV at the tip (to be honest I was surprised to find them open) we settled down for a nice relaxing day.

We had a Skype video call with Little Sis & family and looked on in envy at the huge array of chocolate, after which Mum and Dad were both honing their Wii skills at baseball, tennis or bowling while I was getting the dinner started (isn't something the wrong way round here?). After having eaten far too much (no surprise there then) we all slumped in front of the TV to watch Ratatouille.

The dishwasher has justified it's existence yet again this evening but now I just need to find a similar appliance to take care of the ironing as it's back to work for some of us in the morning...

Right end of the day...

I've half a mind to get an early night and just write the rest of the day off!

My plans to cram in the last minute Easter shopping tonight went a bit belly-up when I found out that the supermarket was full. Full of people that is; I couldn't get my hands on hardly anything I'd gone in for.

The journey home was too late and too cold, for reasons that will become apparent in a moment or two.

The day in the office was full of the usual "challenges", which meant I was hardly in the mood for this letter that arrived in the post, addressed for my attention. I've removed the name and address to protect the innocent (i.e. me), but left the contact details for the bunch of morons that decided this was some kind of effective marketing device in case everyone who reads this happens to be curious.

The event that really set my day off? On the way in this morning, I took a brief opportunity to overtake the car dawdling along in front of me and just as I pulled back to the left hand side of the road, some twittering little critter shot out of the hedgerow into my nearside wing mirror. It hit with such a bang, that I had to look back and make sure I hadn't hit something considerably bigger but aside from bits of wing mirror descending through the rain into the grass verge, there were clearly no significant casualties.

I braved the elements to try and disconnect the remaining entrails of the mirror but it was the choice of either doing a lot more damage, leaving it to bounce freely off the wing of my car, or thread as much as I could through the part open door window. Plan C it was then.

But for all of my moaning right now, I can't help but feel grateful that whatever it was that broke the mirror, didn't land a little further over taking the windscreen and probably me with it...

A fitting send off...

The rule about not drinking on a school night is there for a very good reason, but every now and then you have to test the boundaries.

I've always said that no matter how many funerals you go to, they never seem to get any easier and yesterday was no exception as we said our goodbyes to Woja. It was another non-religious yet tasteful ceremony, a couple of songs (including one of his) and the opportunity for us all to reflect on how he had touched our lives.

Predictably, it was back to the Tap for us all to raise a glass to our departed friend which was made all the more easy by the fact that there were a good range of ales on, all beers were two pound a pint and shorts were a pound. Needless to say that with a stomach full of buffet, we chose to raise rather too many glasses and once we'd got fed up of beer, progressed on to all sorts of silly concoctions.

All in all, it was a great day with the chance to catch up with lots of faces from the past, exchange some of our favourite memories and if you'll forgive the cliche, I'm sure it's exactly what our Woja would have wanted...

A few words for a friend...

There was no way on earth I could have imagined that when writing my last post that within a week it would seem so inappropriate and flippant.

I received a call yesterday telling me that our good friend Woja had passed away that morning. It was only a couple of weeks ago we'd learnt of the tumour behind his eye, but by all accounts, everyone was of the impression that he was responding well to his treatment and well on the way to recovery. It seems such a shame to me that the world has lost another nice guy.

He will probably be most remembered for his contributions to the Acoustic Culture nights in the Tap; in fact he was the guy responsible for the one and only time I've "taken to the stage" in there.

To those of us who knew him a little better, he was also an incredibly intelligent guy with a great sense of humour. For a flavour of what made him tick, follow the Provincial Letters link on the left and take a read through some of his blog. It's been a while since his last post on there but it came as no surprise to me when he diverted his attentions to his MySpace where he could more easily showcase his music.

There's only one song that will always remind us of our friend so I'll just say "Thanks Woja" and sign off with this...

Ring of Bright Water...

It is my sad duty to report the untimely demise of my Breville Lightning kettle yesterday. Aside from being a pretty tasty looking appliance, I'm mostly saddened to see it's passing as it was a 40th birthday present from little Sis & family, but it has served me well during it's short life of little over two years. I'm not ashamed to admit I'll miss the bright blue glow from across the kitchen early in the morning but I can't keep living in the past; it's time to move on.

I wandered into Tesco this evening in search of a replacement and being armed with a tenner's worth of clubcard vouchers, needless to say it resulted in me buying something a bit different. Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you about the Tefal Quick Cup

As you probably gathered from the picture, not so much a kettle it's a filtered water dispenser but it can also turn out a mug of steaming hot water in three seconds!!! Better still, because it only heats the water it's actually dispensing it's up to 65% more energy efficient than a traditional kettle.

So what's the post title all about? Well I don't recall ever seeing the film, but we read the book at school and if my memory serves me well, it was about a water 'otter...

Musical Interlude...

I guess these guys aren't "famous" in the traditional sense but here's three good reasons why I feel like selling my guitars...

No great shakes...

Can you believe it? Last summer I travelled thousands of miles including a couple of nights in California where despite it being the earthquake capital of the world, I managed to sleep through the best it had on offer.

If I'd only been patient and waited a few months, I would have been stirred from my slumbers and had the fillings shaken from my teeth under my very own roof.

But then I would also have been denied my recent opportunity of watching the red carpet arrivals at the Oscars and knowing what a dump lies [not very far] beneath the glitz on the surface.

And of course, I would have missed out on the scenery, the weather, the food, the warm welcome. Yes, I'm afraid there are plenty of times where our little part of the world doesn't quite measure up...

Mist the point...

It was inevitable that the thick fog this week would bring out the worst of our local motorists. On one extreme I had people screaming past me at over 70mph when visibility was just beyond my bonnet; on the other there were people trundling along A roads at 40mph when there was little more than a slight haze in the air.

Then I heard a comment on the radio that suddenly made sense of it all.

"Have you ever noticed that everyone who drives slower than you is an idiot, and everyone who drives faster than you is a maniac?"

Ahem...

Plus ca change...

There's no denying that I obviously have some kind of addictive personality.

It's not that long ago that I would have been on here sharing all sorts of sad and sorry tales of a weekend on the piss, but it's just occurred to me this evening that I've spent the best part of this weekend on the Wii...

Blast from the past...

I've not been out on a Saturday night for a while now, but last night I had an invitation to a retirement party for Pete who was the sales manager at the last company I worked for.

It was of course good to be part of Pete's send off, but also to catch up with a lot of old faces I've not seen for 12 years or more. I say "old faces" although everyone is pretty much exactly how I remembered them so perhaps we've all aged reasonably gracefully. I had to smile when I spotted the M.D. and went across to say hello. He looked genuinely surprised, smiled, shook my hand then sad to the guy next to him "Hey look who's here - you remember who this is don't you?". I took that as a clear indication that he actually didn't, but to his credit he came across later in the evening and admitted the fact once the penny had dropped.

Entertainment was courtesy of Pete's son's band although I'm guessing the people dancing hadn't eaten as much hog roast as I had. After a couple of hours, I decided to shuffle off quietly and it turned out that the taxi I took was intended for someone else. I thought he'd arrived quickly, but what are the chances of two Seanys calling for a taxi at the same time from the same venue?

So, today I ought to be thinking about how I can burn off last nights excesses but at least I have the choice now of bowling, tennis, baseball, golf or boxing...

And this little piggy went...

After weeks of scouring the internet and setting up email alerts left, right and centre, I've finally managed to get my hands on the latest must have gadget - a Nintendo Wii.

Having reserved it on line Thursday, I picked it up last night on the way home and quite predictably had to set it up and "test it" before I went out for the evening. Although I've never been tempted to buy a games console before, this one really does live up to the hype and the interactivity does make it much more fun than just sat in front of the telly twitching your thumbs.

So, if you'll excuse me, I'm off now for a round of golf...

Hmmm, Fast Food...

No need to worry, I haven't crumbled under the pressure of pizza and kebab abstinence. Well not yet anyway.

While shopping the other weekend I spotted a microwave egg poacher and couldn't resist flambouyantly throwing a quid away to see if they were any good or not. It seems they are, turning out firm whites and runny yolks just as I like them every time. So now I can turn out poached eggs on toast in literally a couple of minutes which aside from being quite handy when I get home late (as happens more than I'd like), is also reasonably healthy I guess.

Hardly revolutionary cuisine I know, although I suppose it does go round inside the microwave...

No news is good news...

There was a time when I thought the above saying meant that you could assume that if you hadn't heard from someone, everything is probably still ok. More recently, I've learnt to interpret it to mean that for every silver lining you stumble upon, rest assured there's a filthy great black cloud somewhere nearby ready to surround it.

My week so far could be summarised in "good news/bad news" format:

Good news: (me) "Well that's another Monday almost out of the way"
Bad news: "Seany, we've spotted a problem out on one of the lines"
Good news: "OK, we've sorted it before the order finished"
Bad news: "The same error could apply to 129 other products"
Good news: "I've checked and it only applies to 4"
Bad news: "We may have made and delivered some already this year"
Good news: "I've checked that too, only 6 deliveries"
Bad news: "Problem is, that equates to over half a million units"
Good news: "I wouldn't want to be the guy who approved this specification"
Bad news: Three guesses who that guy is

Reflecting back to a recent post, it must be times like this that the word "bollocks" was invented for...

Give it up...

OK so I was late leaving work as usual and I'm supposed to be watching what I'm eating but neither of those were good enough excuses to miss out on pancake day. To be fair, I did watch what I was eating for the few seconds between three of them leaving the pan, being drenched in lemon, sprinkled with sugar then disappearing from my plate.

Thoughts then turned to lent and what I should be giving up for forty days from tomorrow. No problem. Then I stopped and thought about giving up something I enjoy for forty days which was a good deal tougher. I've said before I'm already down to one night out a week and that is not up for negotiation.

But I've finally decided on something to compliment the current health kick and I'm going to give up junk food. To be honest, my home prepared cuisine is usually of a pretty healthy nature, but I'll not deny I enjoy ringing out for the occasional pizza & garlic bread and it's a rare Friday night that I don't share a taxi home with a large mixed kebab.

Now, I wonder what time they're open until on Tuesdays...

One down...

It's hard to believe that January has been and gone already, although surprisingly, I've managed to maintain my new healthy (well, healthier) regime despite all of the temptations otherwise.

I think the main difference this year is that I've accepted that there's no way I'm going to say I'll give up my Friday nights out and stick to it. Equally, there is little point shedding loads of pounds one month, only to let it all creep back on later.

So, my target has been to try and lose one pound a week, every week, which sounds pretty lame but it does seem to have had a more lasting effect. In fact I'm now only one pound short of shedding a stone since my bathroom scale horror towards the end of last year.

A useful motivational tip I picked up was to get weighed every day, but rather than getting excited or depressed about movements either way on a daily basis, keep track of a moving average over a few days. That way, you may have put a couple of pounds on one particular day, but the moving average tells you you're still on the right track.

If things aren't really going quite to plan at first, just work out your average over a longer period of time, so as long as you've lost anything at all, the average still goes down. The added bonus for me was that it provided an excuse to indulge my geeky spreadsheet obsession, plotting the daily results and using them to calculate moving average weights, target heart rates, lean body mass, BMI, etc. then creating some groovy little graphs.

I guess it would also be prudent to check the battery on the bathroom scales again...

No excuses...

I have no other reason for posting this tonight except that I just found it on YouTube and figured it was too funny to keep to myself



I've no idea why this advert was banned, but then you all know that I think censorship is a load of b...

No other word for it...

If you were to have asked me a few years ago, I'm sure I would have told you that the mere idea of my getting out of bed half an hour earlier each weekday morning just to get some time on a running machine is a bit silly.

If I was to admit that after an early night on Saturday, I woke up early yesterday morning and took the opportunity to sneak in an extra half hour on the same said machine (given that that I don't usually bother with it at all at the weekend), you would probably agree that was quite silly too.

There is hope for me however.

This morning, on the last 3/4 mile of my drive to work which is up a bloody great hill, through the blustery winds and torrential rain I spotted a crazed individual who was actually running up there. It was bad enough in the car so other than giving Kate Bush something to sing about, I have no idea whatsoever what possessed him.

A very silly man indeed...

Back to blog...

I'm pleased to report that I've survived the recent celebrations and emerged at the other end another year older, but otherwise not too worse for wear.

Having dropped the car off Thursday morning for a service I opted for a bus ride home rather than risk being in town when the Tap opened which could have kicked off the partying for Steve's 50th a little earlier than planned.

As it was, three of us met up at Cleethorpes Bowl where contrary to some of my earlier experiences there, we had a great time. The staff were friendly and helpful, not in the slightest bothered that we'd arrived one short of our booking and were quite happy to let us extend our booking for another hour or so. Despite my horrific start, I was as surprised as anyone to make an expected comeback to win one of the games. From then on, it was back to catch up with the others in the Tap, grab some food, sink a few ales and you can probably guess the rest from there.

Fortunately, my autopilot had kicked in early on Thursday night so I was able to surprise Mum by taking her up on her invitation to meet her in town for my birthday breakfast the following morning. It's certainly the first birthday I can remember sitting down in a bar to a cooked breakfast and a pint of real ale at 9:00 in the morning and enjoyable as it was, it's not something I think I'd want to make a habit of, although there were clearly plenty of other people there who thought otherwise.

Ever conscious of the celebrating that lay ahead, I decided again to head for home after just the one pint and returned to the Tap mid afternoon for another great meal and some more celebratory drinks. It had worked out quite well being Andy's leaving do too, so between the two of us we'd assembled a good crowd of well wishers. [Quite] A few beers later and I was on my way home again, mixed kebab in hand for the second night running. Well, at least you get salad with it.

Yesterday, Andy was out for another session with some of the guys who hadn't made it the night before, but I'm afraid I was beaten. Not physically beaten (although it felt like it first thing Saturday morning), but there was just no way I wanted to even look at a pint, let alone face the idea of another full day in the pub.

I'd like to say a quick thanks to everyone for the numerous greetings over the past few days either in person, by card, text, email or comment on here and now, here I am having reached 42, which apparently is the answer to life, the universe and everything. Personally I'm just grateful that I didn't have Zaphod's extra head over the last couple of mornings...

Tick one...

The clock is still ticking and we're getting closer to the busy end of this week I mentioned on Monday.

To start things off, I've completed my second week back at work having escaped with two three-day weeks in a row and in both cases I managing to trade off some of my extra hours to get away early.

I may not be at work in the morning but given the pending activity over the next couple of days, I think an early night might still be prudent...

Life goes on...

On this morning's news they reported the results of a recent study of 20,000 people over 10 years which stated that you could effectively add 14 years to your life by:
~ Stopping smoking
~ Taking regular exercise
~ Eating five servings of fruit or vegetables per day
~ Not drinking too much alcohol

So there's a bit of goods news then, as Jim Steinman almost said, three out of four ain't bad.

And who am I to turn my nose up at an extra 10.5 years...

Coming soon to a screen near you...

We're a week into the new year already and the reason I've not been on here to say anything is that there's been nothing new going on worth talking about.

However, over the next 96 hours, I'll finish my second week back at work, the car will be serviced, Steve will turn 50, my cousin Helen will turn 42, so will I, and we will have a few beers with Andy to wish him well as he prepares to leave Grimsby for pastures new.

So there's plenty of things about to happen, it's just that nothing much has happened just yet...