We were told a story once at school about a woman who complained to a wise man that her house was too small and his remedy was to suggest that she took one of his chickens home for a few days to see if it made any difference.
Unsurprisingly, she returned shortly afterwards saying that she didn't see how this was meant to improve matters and in return he asked that she also look after one of his goats.
Still unhappy the following day, he asked her to look after one of his pigs aswell. Somewhat confused she reluctantly agreed once again.
Returning to complain for a 4th time, the wise man asked her to look after one of his cows and despite her initial agreement, she was soon back to the old man again demanding that he had done nothing to help and that he explain his ridiculous actions.
The wise old man took her back to her house, rounded up his chicken, goat, pig and cow and took them all back home with him, at which point the woman suddenly realised how large her house had suddenly become.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not in any way comparing any of my family with farmyard animals, but the bungalow certainly seems huge this afternoon...
Monday, May 29, 2006
Friday, May 26, 2006
Quick hello...
You may have noticed that posts have been a bit thin on the ground this week, well there is good reason and it's not all down to ISP limitations early on.
It's Mum's birthday tomorrow and I'd planned a meal out for her in the evening followed by some serious "falling off wagon" on my part. Little Sis rang on Tuesday night with the better idea that they all come up to spend the weekend at mine and call in to surprise Mum. Except that they can't get here any earlier than the time we'd planned to go out to eat!
Cue frantic topping up of food cupboards/freezer at home and shifting everything too fragile out two year old nephew reach, not to mention a good clean and tidy up all round. So we're all set, out for a meal at teatime as planned, little Sis will arrive early evening and "unexpectedly" walk into the pub; no doubt lots of smiles, hugs and tears all round. We'll all leave the pub shortly afterwards (as we'll want to see the kiddies and of course, their dad), spend the evening catching up and then all seven of us are at mine the next day for a roast beef Sunday lunch.
There'll be little chance to go far when everyone's gone home on Monday and the following weekend I'm making the return journey down south, followed by a quick business trip to Portugal for a couple of days.
So all in all, it's now looking like it could be a five week break before I get re-acquainted with my old friend the Hobgoblin, but I think it's a price worth paying...
It's Mum's birthday tomorrow and I'd planned a meal out for her in the evening followed by some serious "falling off wagon" on my part. Little Sis rang on Tuesday night with the better idea that they all come up to spend the weekend at mine and call in to surprise Mum. Except that they can't get here any earlier than the time we'd planned to go out to eat!
Cue frantic topping up of food cupboards/freezer at home and shifting everything too fragile out two year old nephew reach, not to mention a good clean and tidy up all round. So we're all set, out for a meal at teatime as planned, little Sis will arrive early evening and "unexpectedly" walk into the pub; no doubt lots of smiles, hugs and tears all round. We'll all leave the pub shortly afterwards (as we'll want to see the kiddies and of course, their dad), spend the evening catching up and then all seven of us are at mine the next day for a roast beef Sunday lunch.
There'll be little chance to go far when everyone's gone home on Monday and the following weekend I'm making the return journey down south, followed by a quick business trip to Portugal for a couple of days.
So all in all, it's now looking like it could be a five week break before I get re-acquainted with my old friend the Hobgoblin, but I think it's a price worth paying...
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Of Mousse and Men...
It'll have to be a quick post tonight before the internet service goes AWOL again whilst ntl carry out local services and repairs. Never mind, I'm sure they'll reimburse us all for any downtime incurred.
The office talk this afternoon turned to a documentary someone had recently seen about mousse, or meesse, or mousses, well you know, those big caribou-esque creatures with antlers. The curiosity was that apparently when twomousse mousses meesse of them prepare to fight for dominance, they first assess their chances according to the size of their opponents antlers and if they are bigger than their own, they are less likely to go into battle.
Sounds reasonable enough. What we couldn't understand is how they can see how big their own antlers are...
The office talk this afternoon turned to a documentary someone had recently seen about mousse, or meesse, or mousses, well you know, those big caribou-esque creatures with antlers. The curiosity was that apparently when two
Sounds reasonable enough. What we couldn't understand is how they can see how big their own antlers are...
Monday, May 22, 2006
Cheeky b...
OK, first I have to admit that this is a cheat - I didn't actually have internet access tonight so I'll type it tomorrow, change the post date to yesterday and then everyone will think I'm posting it tonight. Ahem...
You won't believe what I'm about to tell you as it is so absolutely ridiculous, but it is true.
Mum went to unlock their front door early Saturday morning but found herself struggling with the handle. No matter how she tried, the handle seemed to be making no attempt to control the mechanism within. It soon came to light that this was because somebody had stolen their external front door handle. Some cheeky little fuckhound saw fit to carefully remove the four screws holding it in place and made off with a manky brass coloured (but all the same fully functioning) door handle. They live on a busy main road too so I'm guessing that unless these cretins were even more spaced out than I'm already assuming, they also removed it during the night - in the dark.
See, I said you wouldn't believe me...
You won't believe what I'm about to tell you as it is so absolutely ridiculous, but it is true.
Mum went to unlock their front door early Saturday morning but found herself struggling with the handle. No matter how she tried, the handle seemed to be making no attempt to control the mechanism within. It soon came to light that this was because somebody had stolen their external front door handle. Some cheeky little fuckhound saw fit to carefully remove the four screws holding it in place and made off with a manky brass coloured (but all the same fully functioning) door handle. They live on a busy main road too so I'm guessing that unless these cretins were even more spaced out than I'm already assuming, they also removed it during the night - in the dark.
See, I said you wouldn't believe me...
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Oh Lordi Lordi...
I can't remember the last time I stayed in and watched the Eurovision Song Contest but if you take it at absolute face value, it's quite a laugh.
The theme for (normal) costumes this year seemed to be predominantly white or silver and I'm pleased to report a larger proportion of leg on show than I ever recall before; always a good excuse to refrain from changing channel.
I sat patiently through all 24 songs and to my complete and utter shame, made notes of anything I remotely liked. Special mention should go to Lithuania for fielding a silly football chant of a song and to Finland, the worthy winners pictured above, who were ridiculous in the extreme and my favourites from the outset.
Terry Wogan's commentary was on top form as always, demonstrating once again his incredible ability to predict the scores before each country's representative read them out. In fact, you just need a decent knowledge of European geography as most countries still vote for their neighbours irrespective of the song, artist, or anything else for that matter.
Our song? Sorry Daz but in my book it never stood a chance. Sweeping statement perhaps but in my opinion, the word "rap" has always been pronounced with a silent "c"...
Give me space...
I took a peek at MSN Spaces this morning to see what they had to offer and I'm pleased to report I won't be moving from Blogger any time soon.
However, it is free and my username was available so I set up this space on the basis that another incoming link wouldn't do any harm...
However, it is free and my username was available so I set up this space on the basis that another incoming link wouldn't do any harm...
Friday, May 19, 2006
Blog-osophy...
Delcatto's post tonight really got me thinking, so much so that I started leaving comments but they became so long-winded I thought it more appropriate to pay credit via a link and go off on a tangent of my own!
I had never really stopped before to consider why I started this blog in the first place, or more to the point why I keep it going. Ironically, it was Delcatto himself who introduced me to the notion of blogging one Saturday afternoon over a beer (or two) in recommending I read Scaryduck's offerings. As I read his blog, which is still incredibly funny incidentally, I remember thinking that everyone must have a few anecdotes that they love to share over a beer or two and being no exception, I could a put few of mine down to share with a wider audience.
Now I think about it, I suppose it serves a number of purposes:
~ It never really became anecdotal, it is more a means of sharing the mental meanderings that have entertained me during the day and hopefully people continue to find them amusing.
~ I'm dreadful at keeping in touch with friends and not just those who have moved away as Pete Frenzy in St. Louis, Steve in Toronto, Rob in Hull, Rich in Grimsby will all testify. Hopefully this is a means of letting them know that I am still alive and usually not up to anything too exciting
~ As age and alcohol consumption take their toll, it's also a convenient way to remember what I've done myself as I've never been able to keep a diary or journal for more than a few days in a row
~ Occasionally it provides a forum for me to rant about something (often trivial) and although I seldom offer solutions, I suppose it provides some therapeutic value to me.
So what's with the anonimity? I'm not entirely sure and it's only there to a certain extent. Seany is my real name (with the optional "y"), the little weemee character isn't a bad likeness (although I am a bit taller) and the fact that many friends old and new know about the blog and visit regularly, hardly maintains an MI5 level of secrecy.
I have consciously chosen not to mention it at work, having given the address to only one colleague (as I've chatted with him and his daughter frequently over MSN in the past) but this was on the request that he doesn't access it from his work laptop. It's not that I'm ashamed or embarassed but for some reason I like the freedom to write pretty much what I want knowing that the readers either know me extremely well or hardly at all and in either case are unlikely to be overly offended. Indeed, I recently had to give much consideration before admitting to Cherrypie that I knew her "mail order" ex through work, although I still have no intentions of saying anything to him about it.
There is also the wind-up merchant in me that keeps me going. Having already achieved Google "I'm Feeling Lucky" status when searching for Seany, it amuses me to think that people still end up here looking for Playboy bunny pictures, Samantha Janus photos and for a while last year, "Paula Radcliffe pissing video". There are perfectly innocent explanations in each case for how they arrived here (and I don't suppose this post will help) but I guess it serves them right!
Finally, if nothing else, as a means of reducing unecessary surplus, from day one in every title and every post I like to think that I have been chipping away at the European ellipsis mountain...
I had never really stopped before to consider why I started this blog in the first place, or more to the point why I keep it going. Ironically, it was Delcatto himself who introduced me to the notion of blogging one Saturday afternoon over a beer (or two) in recommending I read Scaryduck's offerings. As I read his blog, which is still incredibly funny incidentally, I remember thinking that everyone must have a few anecdotes that they love to share over a beer or two and being no exception, I could a put few of mine down to share with a wider audience.
Now I think about it, I suppose it serves a number of purposes:
~ It never really became anecdotal, it is more a means of sharing the mental meanderings that have entertained me during the day and hopefully people continue to find them amusing.
~ I'm dreadful at keeping in touch with friends and not just those who have moved away as Pete Frenzy in St. Louis, Steve in Toronto, Rob in Hull, Rich in Grimsby will all testify. Hopefully this is a means of letting them know that I am still alive and usually not up to anything too exciting
~ As age and alcohol consumption take their toll, it's also a convenient way to remember what I've done myself as I've never been able to keep a diary or journal for more than a few days in a row
~ Occasionally it provides a forum for me to rant about something (often trivial) and although I seldom offer solutions, I suppose it provides some therapeutic value to me.
So what's with the anonimity? I'm not entirely sure and it's only there to a certain extent. Seany is my real name (with the optional "y"), the little weemee character isn't a bad likeness (although I am a bit taller) and the fact that many friends old and new know about the blog and visit regularly, hardly maintains an MI5 level of secrecy.
I have consciously chosen not to mention it at work, having given the address to only one colleague (as I've chatted with him and his daughter frequently over MSN in the past) but this was on the request that he doesn't access it from his work laptop. It's not that I'm ashamed or embarassed but for some reason I like the freedom to write pretty much what I want knowing that the readers either know me extremely well or hardly at all and in either case are unlikely to be overly offended. Indeed, I recently had to give much consideration before admitting to Cherrypie that I knew her "mail order" ex through work, although I still have no intentions of saying anything to him about it.
There is also the wind-up merchant in me that keeps me going. Having already achieved Google "I'm Feeling Lucky" status when searching for Seany, it amuses me to think that people still end up here looking for Playboy bunny pictures, Samantha Janus photos and for a while last year, "Paula Radcliffe pissing video". There are perfectly innocent explanations in each case for how they arrived here (and I don't suppose this post will help) but I guess it serves them right!
Finally, if nothing else, as a means of reducing unecessary surplus, from day one in every title and every post I like to think that I have been chipping away at the European ellipsis mountain...
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Well would you believe it...
I set off for work this morning and at the bottom of the avenue I suddenly realised I wasn't wearing my watch. I resisted the temptation to turn back and contrary to my initial concerns, I didn't really spend the day feeling like my left arm had been amputated.
My daily commute was hampered both ways today by "undue hesitancy of the year" contestants and yet I wasn't actually late for anything*.
When I got home, contrary to this morning's forecast it was still sunny and I managed to run the mower over the back lawn before it threw it down with rain.
Little Sis told me a few years ago about a book she'd read called "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" which I never actually read (I'm very thinly read remember?) but I took the title to heart. Today is possibly proof that I still try not to...
*I have recently realised that it's not the delay that annoys me as much as the fact that I've taken a liking to tearing down quiet country lanes (safely of course) and these people are stopping my fun
My daily commute was hampered both ways today by "undue hesitancy of the year" contestants and yet I wasn't actually late for anything*.
When I got home, contrary to this morning's forecast it was still sunny and I managed to run the mower over the back lawn before it threw it down with rain.
Little Sis told me a few years ago about a book she'd read called "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" which I never actually read (I'm very thinly read remember?) but I took the title to heart. Today is possibly proof that I still try not to...
*I have recently realised that it's not the delay that annoys me as much as the fact that I've taken a liking to tearing down quiet country lanes (safely of course) and these people are stopping my fun
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Think they own the place...
After an uneventful day and less than memorable drive home today, I was feeling particularly tired and looking forward to a quick bite to eat followed by an early night. Fortunately as I turned into the cul-de-sac where I live, my wits were still sufficiently about me before I drove into one of them.
There must have been about four or five of them, difficult to tell how old, slowly sauntering down the middle of the road, not a care in the world and clearly showing no intention of moving onto the pavement. A couple of polite toots of the car horn resulted in little more than a sideways glance by one or two of them, they took a couple of steps further forward and all congregated together again in the middle.
What's the best thing to do in cases like this? I'm not usually an aggressive person but I'll admit that my seatbelt was undone and I was at the point of getting out of the car to confront them when I realised there was just enough room to drive past them.
Bloody ducks...
There must have been about four or five of them, difficult to tell how old, slowly sauntering down the middle of the road, not a care in the world and clearly showing no intention of moving onto the pavement. A couple of polite toots of the car horn resulted in little more than a sideways glance by one or two of them, they took a couple of steps further forward and all congregated together again in the middle.
What's the best thing to do in cases like this? I'm not usually an aggressive person but I'll admit that my seatbelt was undone and I was at the point of getting out of the car to confront them when I realised there was just enough room to drive past them.
Bloody ducks...
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Many hands make light work...
Well two hands to be more exact.
When I first moved into the bungalow, it was nice to see it had been suitably equipped with several security and courtesy external lights, but the only one I have never really got to grips with was the courtesy light above the garage door which despite my numerous twiddlings, came on at dusk and stayed on, I presume, until it got bored with the view. Another job consigned to the "I must get round to sorting that out properly sometime" list.
Tonight however, the garage door flew open in a somewhat more livelier manner than expected, somehow managing to smash the lights mounting plate in the process. As if by magic, "sometime" suddenly became "now" and judging by the thick black clouds hovering overhead, sooner than "now" would be preferable.
Fortunately, I had a PIR halogen light which I'd bought for the last house and which had never made it off the "sometime" list so it was a relatively easy swap. This was of course followed by the ritual back, forth & sidestep dance in the drive which is apparently necessary to check I'd got the sensitivity right. It seems the slightest tweak changes the sensitivity setting from "yeti leaping right in front of it" to "ant farts three miles away" but it is now installed and hopefully not illuminating too much of the remainder of the neighbourhood.
Aside from a more practical security light than it's predecessor, it should save me on electricity too as it will be on for considerably less time. Next job is to find a new gadget to spend my potential savings on...
When I first moved into the bungalow, it was nice to see it had been suitably equipped with several security and courtesy external lights, but the only one I have never really got to grips with was the courtesy light above the garage door which despite my numerous twiddlings, came on at dusk and stayed on, I presume, until it got bored with the view. Another job consigned to the "I must get round to sorting that out properly sometime" list.
Tonight however, the garage door flew open in a somewhat more livelier manner than expected, somehow managing to smash the lights mounting plate in the process. As if by magic, "sometime" suddenly became "now" and judging by the thick black clouds hovering overhead, sooner than "now" would be preferable.
Fortunately, I had a PIR halogen light which I'd bought for the last house and which had never made it off the "sometime" list so it was a relatively easy swap. This was of course followed by the ritual back, forth & sidestep dance in the drive which is apparently necessary to check I'd got the sensitivity right. It seems the slightest tweak changes the sensitivity setting from "yeti leaping right in front of it" to "ant farts three miles away" but it is now installed and hopefully not illuminating too much of the remainder of the neighbourhood.
Aside from a more practical security light than it's predecessor, it should save me on electricity too as it will be on for considerably less time. Next job is to find a new gadget to spend my potential savings on...
A breath of fresh air...
I'm feeling particularly pleased with myself today because it is now 500 days since my last cigarette.
Assuming that I smoked 20 per day and that I bought them all the supermarket, that means I would have smoked 10,000 cigarettes in this time at a cost of £2065! To tell the truth, 20 a day would be an under-estimate and more often than not I would have bought packs of 18 or less at an even higher pack price from a vending machine. I did roll my own for a while too but whatever the fine detail, I'll still have made a substantial saving.
Despite the financial gains, by now the risk of my having a heart attack is less than half than it would have been had I continued smoking. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't put on weight but that is more as a result of my continued appreciation for real ale rather than any substitution snacking.
I wish I could pass on my secret of how I got this far so easily, but I think I just reached a point where I'd had enough of them. In the last 17 months I think there have only been two or three occasions where it's crossed my mind, but it's never lingered for long. More to the point, the places where smokers are accepted are rapidly diminishing so I thought it better to stop of my own choosing before being press-ganged into it.
If you're reading this and thinking about stopping, please consider it seriously and take advantage of the wealth of free help and advice out there. The Allen Carr website was enough to get me started (or stopped), but all of these links may be helpful:
Allen Carrs Easyway
ASH
British Heart Foundation
NHS - Don't give up giving up
Quit
I'm here as proof that it can be done without spending money on patches or pills but there's no shame in either if you want a helping hand. I'll not deny that used to enjoy smoking and I'm certainly not here to lecture anybody or get into any "freedom of choice" arguments, I'm just suggesting that if you've ever even considered stopping, give it a go...
Assuming that I smoked 20 per day and that I bought them all the supermarket, that means I would have smoked 10,000 cigarettes in this time at a cost of £2065! To tell the truth, 20 a day would be an under-estimate and more often than not I would have bought packs of 18 or less at an even higher pack price from a vending machine. I did roll my own for a while too but whatever the fine detail, I'll still have made a substantial saving.
Despite the financial gains, by now the risk of my having a heart attack is less than half than it would have been had I continued smoking. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't put on weight but that is more as a result of my continued appreciation for real ale rather than any substitution snacking.
I wish I could pass on my secret of how I got this far so easily, but I think I just reached a point where I'd had enough of them. In the last 17 months I think there have only been two or three occasions where it's crossed my mind, but it's never lingered for long. More to the point, the places where smokers are accepted are rapidly diminishing so I thought it better to stop of my own choosing before being press-ganged into it.
If you're reading this and thinking about stopping, please consider it seriously and take advantage of the wealth of free help and advice out there. The Allen Carr website was enough to get me started (or stopped), but all of these links may be helpful:
Allen Carrs Easyway
ASH
British Heart Foundation
NHS - Don't give up giving up
Quit
I'm here as proof that it can be done without spending money on patches or pills but there's no shame in either if you want a helping hand. I'll not deny that used to enjoy smoking and I'm certainly not here to lecture anybody or get into any "freedom of choice" arguments, I'm just suggesting that if you've ever even considered stopping, give it a go...
Monday, May 15, 2006
Reasons to be cheerful...
One...
My little nephew is celebrating his 2nd birthday today. It sounds like he's had a good day although he's a bit overwhelmed by the sudden influx of presents and extra attention. As I explained to Little Sis this evening, you have to give the poor little fella a chance - he'd only just got used to being one.
Two...
With my first week of the new healthy regime complete (destined to last at least a couple more days) I have lost just over two pounds, my BMI has dropped a point and body fat percentage has dropped by just over one percent. Cherrypie will be relieved to hear that I have no idea (or interest) whether my urine PH level has changed or not! Newsflash just in - guess to went to the pub for an hour after work tonight and drank no more than a glass of J20? By the way, if you're looking in Dave, thanks again for the parasol (readers please note - the parasol was for my garden not the soft drink)
Three...
The new hard disk caddy is up and running, I've discovered a veritable treasure trove of wonderful forgotten goodies and I've only had the chance to glance briefly through one disk. One particular which I must get onto a CD and into the car is a heavy metal ABBA tribute album - has to be heard to be believed.
Finally, thanks should go to Chris Evans for playing Ian Drury's "What a Waste" on his drive time show this evening which in a typically roundabout way got my grey cells working on tonight's post...
My little nephew is celebrating his 2nd birthday today. It sounds like he's had a good day although he's a bit overwhelmed by the sudden influx of presents and extra attention. As I explained to Little Sis this evening, you have to give the poor little fella a chance - he'd only just got used to being one.
Two...
With my first week of the new healthy regime complete (destined to last at least a couple more days) I have lost just over two pounds, my BMI has dropped a point and body fat percentage has dropped by just over one percent. Cherrypie will be relieved to hear that I have no idea (or interest) whether my urine PH level has changed or not! Newsflash just in - guess to went to the pub for an hour after work tonight and drank no more than a glass of J20? By the way, if you're looking in Dave, thanks again for the parasol (readers please note - the parasol was for my garden not the soft drink)
Three...
The new hard disk caddy is up and running, I've discovered a veritable treasure trove of wonderful forgotten goodies and I've only had the chance to glance briefly through one disk. One particular which I must get onto a CD and into the car is a heavy metal ABBA tribute album - has to be heard to be believed.
Finally, thanks should go to Chris Evans for playing Ian Drury's "What a Waste" on his drive time show this evening which in a typically roundabout way got my grey cells working on tonight's post...
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Plug N Not Playing...
Amongst the goodies I got yesterday, I also decided to treat myself to a hard disk caddy which like many things, seemed a really good idea in principle. I just needed to plug in one of the hard disks from the PC that's currently enjoying retirement (ok, it's still waiting for a new motherboard), connect a USB lead from the caddy to my laptop and hey presto, my storage space has suddenly increased by 200GB and I have access to the files I once feared I might have lost forever.
With the ensuing fun of CD playing and study clearance, I didn't get the chance to try it out yesterday, but with no space left in the bins, I took my chance this afternoon. First roadblock - the unit was missing from the box! The cables and accompanying CDs were all present but no sign of the actual unit itself which didn't bode well for progress. A quick trip back to the store and on sight of my receipt (and somewhat embarrassed expression), they were happy to exchange the ex-display box for a complete one.
Brief interlude to eat a roast dinner then back to the magic box and time to find out exactly what was left behind on the old disks - there is a potential of 480gb of space in total and I have genuinely forgotten what I left on there. After over an hour of connecting, disconnecting and re-connecting, restarting and rebooting I'm afraid to say I'm still no better off so it looks like another trip back to the store after work tomorrow.
I'm certain I've checked and tried everything I should have done, but after my first return visit, I've a terrible feeling it will turn out to be something really straight forward again...
With the ensuing fun of CD playing and study clearance, I didn't get the chance to try it out yesterday, but with no space left in the bins, I took my chance this afternoon. First roadblock - the unit was missing from the box! The cables and accompanying CDs were all present but no sign of the actual unit itself which didn't bode well for progress. A quick trip back to the store and on sight of my receipt (and somewhat embarrassed expression), they were happy to exchange the ex-display box for a complete one.
Brief interlude to eat a roast dinner then back to the magic box and time to find out exactly what was left behind on the old disks - there is a potential of 480gb of space in total and I have genuinely forgotten what I left on there. After over an hour of connecting, disconnecting and re-connecting, restarting and rebooting I'm afraid to say I'm still no better off so it looks like another trip back to the store after work tomorrow.
I'm certain I've checked and tried everything I should have done, but after my first return visit, I've a terrible feeling it will turn out to be something really straight forward again...
Saturday, May 13, 2006
What a save...
I'm not referring to the performance of Messrs Reina and Hislop in this afternoon's match; unsurprisingly I skipped the trip to the pub to watch the cup final this afternoon (best for years or otherwise), there was plenty to do at home instead. I'm not even referring to Steve Mildenhall's contribution towards Grimsby Town's promotion into League One. I don't think I need to elaborate further on my disinterest in football.
The "save" in question is mine and I'm talking about saving money. Or more to the point, how completely hopeless I am at it (rather like football actually).
My parents tried to teach me the value of money as a child, giving me chores to complete to earn my pocket money rather than just giving it to me. I was also encouraged to take up paper rounds and part time jobs as soon as I was old enough to re-inforce the difference between earning money and being given it. Despite this headstart, I have always found it difficult to save money in the occasional times I have had some surplus. I've no idea how I ever managed to save enough for a deposit for a house.
It still hasn't changed. Last night, the hedge bordering my front garden got a long overdue trimming and shaping courtesy of my uncle who just happens to be a gardener (incidentally, he also happens to be an incredibly generous man who refused to take anything other than a can of beer in payment). It also provided an excuse to spend a equally long overdue Friday night in, choosing to use the time more wisely putting shelves up in the study rather than another weekly beer marathon.
So if you add up the savings over two days: a gardener for two hours, four taxi fares, a couple of pub meals, enough beer to float a battleship and the inevitable pool & jukebox fodder, I probably ought to be about a hundred quid in pocket by now. Unfortunately my subconscious was already one step ahead and had me trotting into town to by a portable CD/Radio/Cassette/MP3 player so I can listen to music in the study during my early morning stints on the running machine and also whilst I'm sorting through all of the other stuff I've dumped in there.
I suppose I should take some comfort that while I've been spending pounds in one way, it will make life more pleasant while I'm trying to lose them elsewhere...
The "save" in question is mine and I'm talking about saving money. Or more to the point, how completely hopeless I am at it (rather like football actually).
My parents tried to teach me the value of money as a child, giving me chores to complete to earn my pocket money rather than just giving it to me. I was also encouraged to take up paper rounds and part time jobs as soon as I was old enough to re-inforce the difference between earning money and being given it. Despite this headstart, I have always found it difficult to save money in the occasional times I have had some surplus. I've no idea how I ever managed to save enough for a deposit for a house.
It still hasn't changed. Last night, the hedge bordering my front garden got a long overdue trimming and shaping courtesy of my uncle who just happens to be a gardener (incidentally, he also happens to be an incredibly generous man who refused to take anything other than a can of beer in payment). It also provided an excuse to spend a equally long overdue Friday night in, choosing to use the time more wisely putting shelves up in the study rather than another weekly beer marathon.
So if you add up the savings over two days: a gardener for two hours, four taxi fares, a couple of pub meals, enough beer to float a battleship and the inevitable pool & jukebox fodder, I probably ought to be about a hundred quid in pocket by now. Unfortunately my subconscious was already one step ahead and had me trotting into town to by a portable CD/Radio/Cassette/MP3 player so I can listen to music in the study during my early morning stints on the running machine and also whilst I'm sorting through all of the other stuff I've dumped in there.
I suppose I should take some comfort that while I've been spending pounds in one way, it will make life more pleasant while I'm trying to lose them elsewhere...
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Scam alert...
I was sent this a while ago on e-mail and was recently reminded of it when reading Jay's DaTaste blog. If you haven't seen this already, please read it, take note and pass it on to all of your male friends :
I am posting this to you to warn you of something that happened to me, as I have become a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. This happened to me at Tesco and it could happen to you.
This is how it works:
Two seriously good-looking 18-year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping in the boot. They both start wiping your window with a soapy sponge, their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy t-shirts. It is impossible not to look.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
It's better to give...
After a high speed internet shopping spree on Sunday evening, I was delighted to see all of the family birthday presents had arrived when I got home today.
Obviously, I can't say what they are as there is always a chance that they may be looking in but I think they will all be pleased. I know it's a cliche but I genuinely do get as much if not more fun choosing presents for people as I do by receiving them. I can say without fear of contradiction that none of them will have the slightest clue what they're getting and they won't be finding out from me either- that's all part of the fun.
I truly believe that if you have to ask somebody what they want, then you probably don't know them well enough to buy them a present in the first place. Equally, I've never understood how people get away with gift vouchers - you may as well be honest and say "I can't be bothered to think of anything, go and get it yourself"
21 days and it will all be over again for another year; well at least until October when my niece turns seven. We are the only two of the family who aren't swept up in this 5 week birthday season, which also means that when they do come around, we get to enjoy our birthday celebrations all to ourselves for that little bit longer.
Now there's a nice sentiment...
Obviously, I can't say what they are as there is always a chance that they may be looking in but I think they will all be pleased. I know it's a cliche but I genuinely do get as much if not more fun choosing presents for people as I do by receiving them. I can say without fear of contradiction that none of them will have the slightest clue what they're getting and they won't be finding out from me either- that's all part of the fun.
I truly believe that if you have to ask somebody what they want, then you probably don't know them well enough to buy them a present in the first place. Equally, I've never understood how people get away with gift vouchers - you may as well be honest and say "I can't be bothered to think of anything, go and get it yourself"
21 days and it will all be over again for another year; well at least until October when my niece turns seven. We are the only two of the family who aren't swept up in this 5 week birthday season, which also means that when they do come around, we get to enjoy our birthday celebrations all to ourselves for that little bit longer.
Now there's a nice sentiment...
Monday, May 08, 2006
Back on the run...
Well, I've stalled for as long as I can possibly get away with it and the study is finally clear enough for me to get to the infamous running machine.
It has been seriously neglected for the 6 months I've been living here; the only exercise it's provided is by my moving it around or clearing the dust off it. The original train of thought was that by spending such a ridiculous amount of money on the thing, I would be so riddled with guilt as to make sure I got plenty of value out of it in return.
I started off well and began to notice results in no time at all, but one bout of man-flu put me out of my routine and I'm not the most easily motivated individual when it comes to physical exertion (aside from the fact I can be damned lazy if I put my mind to it).
Anyway the facts are clear, even to me:
It has been seriously neglected for the 6 months I've been living here; the only exercise it's provided is by my moving it around or clearing the dust off it. The original train of thought was that by spending such a ridiculous amount of money on the thing, I would be so riddled with guilt as to make sure I got plenty of value out of it in return.
I started off well and began to notice results in no time at all, but one bout of man-flu put me out of my routine and I'm not the most easily motivated individual when it comes to physical exertion (aside from the fact I can be damned lazy if I put my mind to it).
Anyway the facts are clear, even to me:
- I know I could afford to lose a few stone without looking particularly emaciated
- Despite having given up smoking over 16 months ago, I still get out of breath going upstairs (kinda difficult in my bungalow anyway) or hurrying to catch the bus into town
- There's a heap of clothes in the wardrobe which ought to fit better than they do
- Since passing the big four-oh, I ought to be paying more attention to my general well-being
- I need to compensate for my growing addiction to the manufacture and consumption of home baked goods
- it cost me a shitload of money and still owes me big-time
Saturday, May 06, 2006
It's the thought that counts...
I love the way the above phrase is used to mask complete disappointment or utter failure.
Today for example I got an early start, mowed front & back lawns, cleared a few weeds from the back garden then dug out my multimeter and toolbox to repair my long-neglected hedgetrimmer as I need to get the leylandi in the front to a manageable height before it goes wild. The good news is that I managed to get it up and running without too much effort but the weather started to threaten rain so I'm afraid it didn't get any activity in the garden. Still, it's the thought that counts.
Determined to have an alcohol-free Saturday I busied the rest of my day with the usual chores and playing in the kitchen turning out all manner of bread, buns and cake (yes - the chocolate cake recipe finally worked). Satisified with another busy day's achievements, I grilled a nice steak for tea and rustled up a red wine sauce to go with it. The thing is, once you've opened a nice bottle of red, you have to finish it in case it goes off (honest). So it wasn't quite the alcohol free day I'd planned, but it's the thought that counts...
Today for example I got an early start, mowed front & back lawns, cleared a few weeds from the back garden then dug out my multimeter and toolbox to repair my long-neglected hedgetrimmer as I need to get the leylandi in the front to a manageable height before it goes wild. The good news is that I managed to get it up and running without too much effort but the weather started to threaten rain so I'm afraid it didn't get any activity in the garden. Still, it's the thought that counts.
Determined to have an alcohol-free Saturday I busied the rest of my day with the usual chores and playing in the kitchen turning out all manner of bread, buns and cake (yes - the chocolate cake recipe finally worked). Satisified with another busy day's achievements, I grilled a nice steak for tea and rustled up a red wine sauce to go with it. The thing is, once you've opened a nice bottle of red, you have to finish it in case it goes off (honest). So it wasn't quite the alcohol free day I'd planned, but it's the thought that counts...
Friday, May 05, 2006
Friday frivolity...
Just over a year ago, I introduced new Mr Man and South Park characters to the world and today, thanks to a link found on Samantha's site, I give you Simpsons Seany:
OK, I accept the physique isn't too lifelike, but the activity certainly is and unlike the antics in the real Springfield, this is only a cartoon...
OK, I accept the physique isn't too lifelike, but the activity certainly is and unlike the antics in the real Springfield, this is only a cartoon...
Thursday, May 04, 2006
On the ball...
I am not much of a football fan.
Don't look out for that on the headline news this evening - even BBC Look North would find news more earth shattering than that (especially seeing as Mr "2 shags" Prescott & his wife have chosen to cast their votes from their home village this evening). Anyone who's read this blog in any detail will have seen several admissions to my lack of interest in the game; in fact I would go so far as to say that I've never been enormously interested in either playing or watching it.
In my youth, I felt the need on a couple of occasions to really put this to the test and went along to Blundell Park to watch our "local heroes" play, but alas it was never meant to be. The combination of not particularly enjoying the match and being practically shredded through the fence at the front of the Pontoon Stand left me sufficiently bereft of interest to ever return.
On the two occasions I did visit, I picked up a souvenir programme each time, brought them home, put them in a drawer somewhere and completely forgot about them - until I found them both in near-mint condition at the bottom of a box last weekend that is.
One of them was for a match we played against Hull City on 7th April 1980 and guess who was on their team that season? A certain Steve McLaren who you may have heard mentioned on the news today having been named as the new England manager. Quicker than you could say "get it on e-Bay", I retrieved my programme just to check whether I could claim the extremely unlikely event "the guy who isn't interested in football has only seen two league football matches, during one of which the current England manager played".
Although he's on their team photo, he wasn't listed on the back cover so I'm guessing he was on the bench that day. Which makes my programme somewhat less rare. And less worthwhile flogging on e-Bay for untold millions.
Stupid bloody game anyway...
Don't look out for that on the headline news this evening - even BBC Look North would find news more earth shattering than that (especially seeing as Mr "2 shags" Prescott & his wife have chosen to cast their votes from their home village this evening). Anyone who's read this blog in any detail will have seen several admissions to my lack of interest in the game; in fact I would go so far as to say that I've never been enormously interested in either playing or watching it.
In my youth, I felt the need on a couple of occasions to really put this to the test and went along to Blundell Park to watch our "local heroes" play, but alas it was never meant to be. The combination of not particularly enjoying the match and being practically shredded through the fence at the front of the Pontoon Stand left me sufficiently bereft of interest to ever return.
On the two occasions I did visit, I picked up a souvenir programme each time, brought them home, put them in a drawer somewhere and completely forgot about them - until I found them both in near-mint condition at the bottom of a box last weekend that is.
One of them was for a match we played against Hull City on 7th April 1980 and guess who was on their team that season? A certain Steve McLaren who you may have heard mentioned on the news today having been named as the new England manager. Quicker than you could say "get it on e-Bay", I retrieved my programme just to check whether I could claim the extremely unlikely event "the guy who isn't interested in football has only seen two league football matches, during one of which the current England manager played".
Although he's on their team photo, he wasn't listed on the back cover so I'm guessing he was on the bench that day. Which makes my programme somewhat less rare. And less worthwhile flogging on e-Bay for untold millions.
Stupid bloody game anyway...
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
X marks the spot...
It's local election day tomorrow which aside from providing a moments infantile amusement for the local Chinese community, puts me in a bit of a quandry.
As this is my first election since I moved into the area, I have no real indication of how effective any of the candidates are aside from reading the literature that poured through the letterbox. Unfortunately, only one leaflet for one candidate "poured" through so I can't even weigh up the competition.
Determined to do my democratic bit, I searched our council website and found the candidates who are standing in my ward and searched for more info on them both, but with little success.
I've always firmly believed that any vote is usually for the "least worst" candidate as I always seem to be picking the best of a bad job, but equally, democracy should not be taken for granted and at least by casting my vote I am entitled to witter (and possibly blog) about the consequences.
I would settle for "eenie, meenie, miney, mo" except of course that it's no longer politically correct...
As this is my first election since I moved into the area, I have no real indication of how effective any of the candidates are aside from reading the literature that poured through the letterbox. Unfortunately, only one leaflet for one candidate "poured" through so I can't even weigh up the competition.
Determined to do my democratic bit, I searched our council website and found the candidates who are standing in my ward and searched for more info on them both, but with little success.
I've always firmly believed that any vote is usually for the "least worst" candidate as I always seem to be picking the best of a bad job, but equally, democracy should not be taken for granted and at least by casting my vote I am entitled to witter (and possibly blog) about the consequences.
I would settle for "eenie, meenie, miney, mo" except of course that it's no longer politically correct...
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
By special request...
As yesterday's post was inspired by a suggestion from Delcatto, I feel obliged to honour a request so ladies and gentlemen, please take a look at this thing of natural and rare beauty:
Isn't it beautiful? That, dear readers, is a young planetary nebula known to it's friends by the rather catchy name of MyCn18.
Oh, and it can be found about 8000 light years from my house...
Isn't it beautiful? That, dear readers, is a young planetary nebula known to it's friends by the rather catchy name of MyCn18.
Oh, and it can be found about 8000 light years from my house...
And still they come...
Thanks again everybody!
I'm delighted to see the Bravenet counter has registered another 1000 which means there have now been over 8000 visits to my humble little blog. It's hard to believe that only a little over a month ago I was posting to thank you all for helping me past the 7000 mark. Traditionally, I've tried to mark the milestone passing with a special post and this time I've decided to pick up on one of Delcatto's suggestions and look 8000 around me:
8000 centimeters would get me just around the corner from where I live. Nothing unusual there other than the ducks who have strangely made their home on the patch of grass at the side of the road.
8000 inches wouldn't get you much further, possibly about halfway to bus stop that I ought to use more often than local taxi firm
8000 feet takes you to Tesco. Nothing eventful going on there now I'm getting back into the habit of buying what I went in there for with a bit less of "I could use one of those"...
8000 yards is the approximate distance from my house to our local landmark, the Dock Tower
8000 metres would get you to my last house; the place that should go on record as one of the worst property investments ever made with no profit after ten years.
8000 kilometers (quite a jump there) would get you to the Chinese Spring City of the North, Changchun City. Or maybe the Mumbwa Caves in Zambia, a site of numerous significant archealogical finds (including very early evidence of cosmetics)
8000 miles from me is Lively Island which despite it's wonderful name, it's major claim to fame on Wikipedia is being the largest rat-free island of the Falkands and is home to a sheep farm.
Hmmm... sheep farm, it suppose it could get lively if you find a nice looking one...
I'm delighted to see the Bravenet counter has registered another 1000 which means there have now been over 8000 visits to my humble little blog. It's hard to believe that only a little over a month ago I was posting to thank you all for helping me past the 7000 mark. Traditionally, I've tried to mark the milestone passing with a special post and this time I've decided to pick up on one of Delcatto's suggestions and look 8000 around me:
8000 centimeters would get me just around the corner from where I live. Nothing unusual there other than the ducks who have strangely made their home on the patch of grass at the side of the road.
8000 inches wouldn't get you much further, possibly about halfway to bus stop that I ought to use more often than local taxi firm
8000 feet takes you to Tesco. Nothing eventful going on there now I'm getting back into the habit of buying what I went in there for with a bit less of "I could use one of those"...
8000 yards is the approximate distance from my house to our local landmark, the Dock Tower
8000 metres would get you to my last house; the place that should go on record as one of the worst property investments ever made with no profit after ten years.
8000 kilometers (quite a jump there) would get you to the Chinese Spring City of the North, Changchun City. Or maybe the Mumbwa Caves in Zambia, a site of numerous significant archealogical finds (including very early evidence of cosmetics)
8000 miles from me is Lively Island which despite it's wonderful name, it's major claim to fame on Wikipedia is being the largest rat-free island of the Falkands and is home to a sheep farm.
Hmmm... sheep farm, it suppose it could get lively if you find a nice looking one...
Monday, May 01, 2006
What a May Day...
You can't beat a relaxing Bank Holiday Monday. Perhaps today I could have tried, but I suspect the guilt of having done so little yesterday motivated me to get an early start this morning. So today's achievements before sitting down this afternoon for a sandwich and a well earned cuppa:
~ Usual weekend chores such as getting the washing done, emptying the dishwasher, taking the hoover for a walk, and so on
~ Sorted through the last of the old clothes and put aside everything I'm not likely to wear again (by choice or otherwise) for the next charity bag that arrives through the door
~ Baked a cake and two loaves of bread. Still a long way to go before the sponge cake is worthy of a picture but at least it was edible this time (without a straw). One of the loaves was a standard wholemeal and this week's experiment is a cheese & bacon loaf. Apparently the latter goes very well with poached eggs but I have about another hour to wait before I find out
~ I finally cleared enough shelf space to unpack all of my videos. Many moons ago when I first got a video recorder, it seemed more logical to number each tape and keep a separate log rather keep re-labeling the tapes themselves. Hence momentary panic this afternoon when I was faced with 62 numbered tapes with no idea of what was on them
~ PC unpacked although not assembled - seemed a bit pointless seeing as the motherboard is no doubt still very poorly and in need of replacement. All the same, the unpacked components do take up much less room than the sum of their boxes
~ Notice board put up in the hallway to keep all of the emergency numbers at hand such as alarm engineer, plumber, pizza house, etc.
~ Another four boxes cleared out of the study, mostly via the shredder or the wheelie-bin and found lots of other old goodies I'd forgotten about. I'll post a separate blog about them sometime
~ Finally, I treated the front and back lawns to a good helping of Weed N Feed seeing as the nicely groomed lawns I created last week have become infested with numerous varieties of horticultural vermin
I hate to admit this, but after that lot I'm almost looking forward to getting back to work tomorrow...
Update 18:30 - scrambled eggs, chopped mushrooms on toasted cheese & bacon bread, topped with a sprinkling of chopped parsley is the best thing since (or at least a good way of eating) sliced bread...
~ Usual weekend chores such as getting the washing done, emptying the dishwasher, taking the hoover for a walk, and so on
~ Sorted through the last of the old clothes and put aside everything I'm not likely to wear again (by choice or otherwise) for the next charity bag that arrives through the door
~ Baked a cake and two loaves of bread. Still a long way to go before the sponge cake is worthy of a picture but at least it was edible this time (without a straw). One of the loaves was a standard wholemeal and this week's experiment is a cheese & bacon loaf. Apparently the latter goes very well with poached eggs but I have about another hour to wait before I find out
~ I finally cleared enough shelf space to unpack all of my videos. Many moons ago when I first got a video recorder, it seemed more logical to number each tape and keep a separate log rather keep re-labeling the tapes themselves. Hence momentary panic this afternoon when I was faced with 62 numbered tapes with no idea of what was on them
~ PC unpacked although not assembled - seemed a bit pointless seeing as the motherboard is no doubt still very poorly and in need of replacement. All the same, the unpacked components do take up much less room than the sum of their boxes
~ Notice board put up in the hallway to keep all of the emergency numbers at hand such as alarm engineer, plumber, pizza house, etc.
~ Another four boxes cleared out of the study, mostly via the shredder or the wheelie-bin and found lots of other old goodies I'd forgotten about. I'll post a separate blog about them sometime
~ Finally, I treated the front and back lawns to a good helping of Weed N Feed seeing as the nicely groomed lawns I created last week have become infested with numerous varieties of horticultural vermin
I hate to admit this, but after that lot I'm almost looking forward to getting back to work tomorrow...
Update 18:30 - scrambled eggs, chopped mushrooms on toasted cheese & bacon bread, topped with a sprinkling of chopped parsley is the best thing since (or at least a good way of eating) sliced bread...
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