Cheeky b...

OK, first I have to admit that this is a cheat - I didn't actually have internet access tonight so I'll type it tomorrow, change the post date to yesterday and then everyone will think I'm posting it tonight. Ahem...

You won't believe what I'm about to tell you as it is so absolutely ridiculous, but it is true.

Mum went to unlock their front door early Saturday morning but found herself struggling with the handle. No matter how she tried, the handle seemed to be making no attempt to control the mechanism within. It soon came to light that this was because somebody had stolen their external front door handle. Some cheeky little fuckhound saw fit to carefully remove the four screws holding it in place and made off with a manky brass coloured (but all the same fully functioning) door handle. They live on a busy main road too so I'm guessing that unless these cretins were even more spaced out than I'm already assuming, they also removed it during the night - in the dark.

See, I said you wouldn't believe me...