Tonight I learnt that it is a seven minute walk from home to my nearest pub and amazingly, it's taken me over seven months to discover this fact.
An old school mate of mine (who also happens to be the Service Manager where my car has gone for an MOT tonight) offered me a lift home and the least I could do was treat him to a couple of pints for his trouble.
So, it's seven minutes away, has a nice friendly teatime atmosphere and they have three "real" ales on. At four and a half quid for a pint of lager (not mine,obviously) and a pint something that claimed to be Taylors Landlord it was a case of right place at the right time but I'm far from sold yet. I'm sure the other two "ales" (nothing memorable, probably Tetley & London Pride) would have tasted just as innocuous, but given that I have to be up early tomorrow to get a lift into work, I didn't dare chance getting a taste for any of it.
So, the old Tap may still be a modest bus trip/taxi ride away, but on tonight's evidence it's still worth the journey...
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Light headed...
Strange thing happened to me on the way to... well, on the way to the bathroom actually.
I got up to attend to a call of nature and recognising that it was dark (smart bloke, me) instinctively reached my left hand out behind me to turn on the light switch outside the bathroom door. Except that there isn't one there. In fact, there wasn't one in the last place I lived either. (Incidentally, that one was activated by a PIR sensor which was pretty cool but that's a story for another day). The light switch I was subconsciously searching for actually belonged to the house I sold over four years ago. How odd.
So with room adequately lit, I did what I had to do (sorry folks - find your own links, I'm not into that kind of entertainment thanks) then went to flush the loo and with instinct on fine form, reached out to grab the lightswitch pull cord. It must be over 25 years since I lived anywhere where you had to pull a chain to flush the loo. What was I thinking of?
Before you ask, my body was completely free of alcohol or any other mind-altering substances for that matter. Maybe it's some kind of reverse deja visite phenomenon where I knew where I was but it felt like somewhere else that I actually had been to before.
I have absolutely no idea what was going through my mind. For that matter, I have to ask myself what on earth was going through my mind when I thought this might be a story worth sharing...
I got up to attend to a call of nature and recognising that it was dark (smart bloke, me) instinctively reached my left hand out behind me to turn on the light switch outside the bathroom door. Except that there isn't one there. In fact, there wasn't one in the last place I lived either. (Incidentally, that one was activated by a PIR sensor which was pretty cool but that's a story for another day). The light switch I was subconsciously searching for actually belonged to the house I sold over four years ago. How odd.
So with room adequately lit, I did what I had to do (sorry folks - find your own links, I'm not into that kind of entertainment thanks) then went to flush the loo and with instinct on fine form, reached out to grab the lightswitch pull cord. It must be over 25 years since I lived anywhere where you had to pull a chain to flush the loo. What was I thinking of?
Before you ask, my body was completely free of alcohol or any other mind-altering substances for that matter. Maybe it's some kind of reverse deja visite phenomenon where I knew where I was but it felt like somewhere else that I actually had been to before.
I have absolutely no idea what was going through my mind. For that matter, I have to ask myself what on earth was going through my mind when I thought this might be a story worth sharing...
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Well it sounded good...
I can say with a higher than average degree of confidence that you will never hear the comment "Hey, did you see that excellent recipe on Seany's cookery programme last night?" But, being a bloke, a lazy one at that, and one with not much time to faff about in the kitchen of an evening, I still like to make an effort now and then.
Tonight, I got in a little earlier than usual and attempted to rustle up something quick, tasty and reasonably healthy for supper tonight which resulted in a mini treasure hunt through the freezer and cupboards.
"Aubergine? Yeah that's been there a few days, I'll slice that up, season it, drizzle with olive oil and shove it under the grill."
Search continues.
"Chicken breast - that'll do. Season and shove that under the grill as well. Saves on washing up (or filling dishwasher too early in week)"
Bit dry though. Search goes on.
"Tarragon! I'd forgotten I'd got that. OK then, white sauce, shove some tarragon in last minute to liven up the flavour, pour over the lot and job's a good 'un"
The result? Looked delicious. The smell was fantastic. The taste was aboslutely... erm... alright I suppose. Have to work on that one I guess. I hate it when that happens...
Tonight, I got in a little earlier than usual and attempted to rustle up something quick, tasty and reasonably healthy for supper tonight which resulted in a mini treasure hunt through the freezer and cupboards.
"Aubergine? Yeah that's been there a few days, I'll slice that up, season it, drizzle with olive oil and shove it under the grill."
Search continues.
"Chicken breast - that'll do. Season and shove that under the grill as well. Saves on washing up (or filling dishwasher too early in week)"
Bit dry though. Search goes on.
"Tarragon! I'd forgotten I'd got that. OK then, white sauce, shove some tarragon in last minute to liven up the flavour, pour over the lot and job's a good 'un"
The result? Looked delicious. The smell was fantastic. The taste was aboslutely... erm... alright I suppose. Have to work on that one I guess. I hate it when that happens...
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Now for some good news...
With any hopes of any English sports people achieving anything of note fading way into the distance, it would have been a great opportunity for someone to come up with some good news for a change. Thanks then to Steve and Mel who returned from their trip to London and announced that they will be getting married next August!
He is indeed a lucky chap as Mel is a very attractive, friendly, genuinely lovely girl and Steve is, well... Steve. Only kidding mate! (he types, in the hope that you've finally re-discovered the blog again!). Joking aside, I genuinely wish you both the very best and look forward to celebrating with you both next year.
"Hi, can I book a taxi please? Where to? Toronto"...
He is indeed a lucky chap as Mel is a very attractive, friendly, genuinely lovely girl and Steve is, well... Steve. Only kidding mate! (he types, in the hope that you've finally re-discovered the blog again!). Joking aside, I genuinely wish you both the very best and look forward to celebrating with you both next year.
"Hi, can I book a taxi please? Where to? Toronto"...
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Slow down...
We do struggle for local TV evening news around here. The ITV contribution for our region is Calendar but unless you live in deepest Yorkshire, there's no news for these here eastern parts. The only alternative is BBC's Look North which, rather like Big Brother, is so dreadfully bad that it makes compelling viewing.
In the interest of balance, I ought to clarify that I'm only referring to the evening news - the morning bulletins are much more informative, delivered in a friendly style by Hannah, Jenny or Caroline (sorry - couldn't find a Caroline photo to link to) and even at the unearthly time of the day I'm getting ready to leave the house, they are all quite pleasing on the eye.
Tonight's hard-hitting headline-grabbing bombshell was their claim that a new report from the BMJ implies that perhaps speed cameras aren't as effective at reducing road accidents as the police would have you believe.
Firstly I had a quick look at the abstract here and can't say I agree with the Look North interpretation. It looks to me like another costly investigation to establish nothing in particular whatsoever, but I'll let you draw your own conclusions.
So, back to this evening's debacle and our BBC crew had set off on a quest that would give the grail hunters a run for their money and tried to find some local motorists who had something to say against speed cameras. Hilarity ensues...
My name's Bill and I've just got three points because of a speed camera
My name's Tom and I've just got three points because of a speed camera
My name's Mike and I've just got three points because of a speed camera
And so on. Ad nauseum.
Not to be picky, but they didn't get points because of a speed camera; they got them because they were driving too fast past the things.
Fair play, I'm sure we've all crept a little over the limit in our time but if you're unlucky enough to get caught, or not alert enough to spot them in advance and slow down then it's not really the machine's fault is it?
But thanks to Look North and their intrepid team of journalists, there can be no room for doubt that if you do drive past one of them too quickly, you stand a good chance of getting a speeding ticket and your license endorsed with points.
A valuable lesson for us all there then...
In the interest of balance, I ought to clarify that I'm only referring to the evening news - the morning bulletins are much more informative, delivered in a friendly style by Hannah, Jenny or Caroline (sorry - couldn't find a Caroline photo to link to) and even at the unearthly time of the day I'm getting ready to leave the house, they are all quite pleasing on the eye.
Tonight's hard-hitting headline-grabbing bombshell was their claim that a new report from the BMJ implies that perhaps speed cameras aren't as effective at reducing road accidents as the police would have you believe.
Firstly I had a quick look at the abstract here and can't say I agree with the Look North interpretation. It looks to me like another costly investigation to establish nothing in particular whatsoever, but I'll let you draw your own conclusions.
So, back to this evening's debacle and our BBC crew had set off on a quest that would give the grail hunters a run for their money and tried to find some local motorists who had something to say against speed cameras. Hilarity ensues...
My name's Bill and I've just got three points because of a speed camera
My name's Tom and I've just got three points because of a speed camera
My name's Mike and I've just got three points because of a speed camera
And so on. Ad nauseum.
Not to be picky, but they didn't get points because of a speed camera; they got them because they were driving too fast past the things.
Fair play, I'm sure we've all crept a little over the limit in our time but if you're unlucky enough to get caught, or not alert enough to spot them in advance and slow down then it's not really the machine's fault is it?
But thanks to Look North and their intrepid team of journalists, there can be no room for doubt that if you do drive past one of them too quickly, you stand a good chance of getting a speeding ticket and your license endorsed with points.
A valuable lesson for us all there then...
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Seriously funny...
OK, enough waffle about my penchant for a pop or two, put the speculation of our footballing chances on hold for a while, don't even mention Tim Henman - the moment's passed already. I've just taken delivery of my Janet & John CD.
For the uninitiated, Terry Wogan reads out these stories from time to time that parody the Janet & John childrens' books but are absolutely littered with double entendres. Fair enough, I accept that my description does them absolutely no justice whatsoever but ask anyone who's heard any of them and they'll confirm how incredibly funny they are. Frankly, I'm amazed at times that some of them managed to get broadcast on a breakfast show.
However, the real highlight and the reason I'm telling you all about it here is that all of the proceeds are going towards the Children in Need appeal. The last I heard, they'd sold in excess of 60,000 copies at a tenner each - that's six hundred thousand quid raised!!!
It's a bloody funny CD, well worth ten pounds of anybody's money and you're making a decent charitable contribution to boot so get yourselves to this site and order yourself a copy.
In fact, whether you buy one or not, please use the same page to join the campaign to get a dispensation from the VAT levy and ensure all of the money raised is directed where it is intended...
For the uninitiated, Terry Wogan reads out these stories from time to time that parody the Janet & John childrens' books but are absolutely littered with double entendres. Fair enough, I accept that my description does them absolutely no justice whatsoever but ask anyone who's heard any of them and they'll confirm how incredibly funny they are. Frankly, I'm amazed at times that some of them managed to get broadcast on a breakfast show.
However, the real highlight and the reason I'm telling you all about it here is that all of the proceeds are going towards the Children in Need appeal. The last I heard, they'd sold in excess of 60,000 copies at a tenner each - that's six hundred thousand quid raised!!!
It's a bloody funny CD, well worth ten pounds of anybody's money and you're making a decent charitable contribution to boot so get yourselves to this site and order yourself a copy.
In fact, whether you buy one or not, please use the same page to join the campaign to get a dispensation from the VAT levy and ensure all of the money raised is directed where it is intended...
Stick to what you're good at...
Completely out of the blue, I got a phone call yesterday afternoon from Steve saying that he and Mel were over from Toronto for a couple of weeks and asking whether I fancied joining them for a drink or two that evening.
Well you know how it is, my drinking skills are not what they used to be of late, and on a school night too, I really ought to decline. However, if they've travelled 3,500 miles then the least I can do is join them both to catch up on happenings across the pond and show off my new-found skills of drinking like a complete wuss.
As it turned out, apparently this was not to be; well certainly not the latter. Sure, we all went out and had a great night. Lots of laughs, some excellent live music thanks to the Tap Acoustic Culture regulars, plenty of catching up, all accompanied by generous quantities of ale - yes, Seany the beer monster is back. A gallon down, home just the safe side of midnight and still up with the larks in time to get to work early this morning with a completely clear head. Bearing in mind the weekend ahead, I'm not sure if this is a good sign or not.
I was once advised that once you've discovered something you're good at, you should stick to it - well that would certainly explain why I like to drink and sleep so much...
Well you know how it is, my drinking skills are not what they used to be of late, and on a school night too, I really ought to decline. However, if they've travelled 3,500 miles then the least I can do is join them both to catch up on happenings across the pond and show off my new-found skills of drinking like a complete wuss.
As it turned out, apparently this was not to be; well certainly not the latter. Sure, we all went out and had a great night. Lots of laughs, some excellent live music thanks to the Tap Acoustic Culture regulars, plenty of catching up, all accompanied by generous quantities of ale - yes, Seany the beer monster is back. A gallon down, home just the safe side of midnight and still up with the larks in time to get to work early this morning with a completely clear head. Bearing in mind the weekend ahead, I'm not sure if this is a good sign or not.
I was once advised that once you've discovered something you're good at, you should stick to it - well that would certainly explain why I like to drink and sleep so much...
Monday, June 26, 2006
Bring it on...
The world cup tournament continues and try as I might, I can't turn my back on it. Between that and the continuing exploits in the Big Brother house, it's a wonder I get to see daylight at all.
You have probably gathered by my occasional business trips to Porto that there is a significant Portuguese influence in the company I work for and although I missed last night's match, I discovered this morning that Portugal beat Holland and will now face us in the quarter finals on Saturday. Which isn't a "school night". And it is the day after pay day. Oh dear, I can already see a picture of this weekend's events unfolding before me.
My mate Steve is helping me to move some shelving on Saturday morning and the least I can do is take him out for a beer or two afterwards to say thank you. By the time we've had a couple of pints, we'll probably need something to eat and before you know it, the big screen's down, the red and white attired locals are assembled and it would be just rude to leave too early.
I never thought I'd hear myself say this but it's not just about football anymore...
You have probably gathered by my occasional business trips to Porto that there is a significant Portuguese influence in the company I work for and although I missed last night's match, I discovered this morning that Portugal beat Holland and will now face us in the quarter finals on Saturday. Which isn't a "school night". And it is the day after pay day. Oh dear, I can already see a picture of this weekend's events unfolding before me.
My mate Steve is helping me to move some shelving on Saturday morning and the least I can do is take him out for a beer or two afterwards to say thank you. By the time we've had a couple of pints, we'll probably need something to eat and before you know it, the big screen's down, the red and white attired locals are assembled and it would be just rude to leave too early.
I never thought I'd hear myself say this but it's not just about football anymore...
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Nice day for it...
So England are through to the quarter finals and whilst watching the match I enjoyed a delicous plate full of pork in ginger & spring onion, of my own making I hasten to add. Another weekend off the pop (I was drinking shandy at Friday night's party in case you were wondering) and all of the weekly chores completed and a couple more besides.
So why "nice day"? Well possibly not but now I can check exactly how nice (as can you) by means of the Metcheck link I've added to the blog template this evening.
OK, even in June we're bound to be destined for wind, rain or possibly snow around these parts, but at least I can get an indication of how deep it's likely to get and how soon...
So why "nice day"? Well possibly not but now I can check exactly how nice (as can you) by means of the Metcheck link I've added to the blog template this evening.
OK, even in June we're bound to be destined for wind, rain or possibly snow around these parts, but at least I can get an indication of how deep it's likely to get and how soon...
It's only a model...
Just over a year ago, I posted with pride on the discovery that Legoland Windsor had recreated some of Grimsby's best known landmarks in Lego.
I've always been a fan of Lego and that trip did little to sway my judgement otherwise. However, for a work of pure genius, take a look at this video recreating the entire Camelot song from Monty Python's Holy Grail.
Impressive eh? Apparently it was made five years ago so I'm surprised I've not stumbled across it before. Full credit to the people responsible (probably some of those lucky folk who get paid for playing with the stuff all day).
If you're looking for more on a similar theme (go on, you know you want to), check out these.
'Tis indeed a silly place...
I've always been a fan of Lego and that trip did little to sway my judgement otherwise. However, for a work of pure genius, take a look at this video recreating the entire Camelot song from Monty Python's Holy Grail.
Impressive eh? Apparently it was made five years ago so I'm surprised I've not stumbled across it before. Full credit to the people responsible (probably some of those lucky folk who get paid for playing with the stuff all day).
If you're looking for more on a similar theme (go on, you know you want to), check out these.
'Tis indeed a silly place...
Saturday, June 24, 2006
A few more kind words...
While I'm still on a roll from the previous post, I've got a couple more special mentions.
Firstly, I went to a party last night for an old (well thirty now) work mate of mine - this seems to be the year for surprise parties. It was great catching up even though I could only stay for a couple of hours. If you're looking in Bri, hope you enjoyed the rest of the party and thanks again to Helen for the invitation.
Secondly, I got in last night to find a message on the answerphone from Little Sis to say she has succesfully completed her exams and final assignment, which means she is now a fully qualified teacher. I think it takes a lot of guts to quit your job and put your whole life on hold to pursue something you've always wanted to do and I'm glad it's paid off for them all.
On the chance in a million you've actually decided to catch up on the blog, I'll go on record to say well done Little Sis, I'm proud of you...
Firstly, I went to a party last night for an old (well thirty now) work mate of mine - this seems to be the year for surprise parties. It was great catching up even though I could only stay for a couple of hours. If you're looking in Bri, hope you enjoyed the rest of the party and thanks again to Helen for the invitation.
Secondly, I got in last night to find a message on the answerphone from Little Sis to say she has succesfully completed her exams and final assignment, which means she is now a fully qualified teacher. I think it takes a lot of guts to quit your job and put your whole life on hold to pursue something you've always wanted to do and I'm glad it's paid off for them all.
On the chance in a million you've actually decided to catch up on the blog, I'll go on record to say well done Little Sis, I'm proud of you...
Many thanks...
Wow! So soon after my last message of this nature and here we are again with the counter registering another 1000 hits. What can I say? And what's so special about the number nine?
In my tyically tenuous manner, I'll go the fact that "nine" in English sounds like the German word for "no" so I will proceed to thank you all in nine languages:
I hope you get the message!
Please keep looking in, if for no other reason than to see what happens if it reaches 10,000...
In my tyically tenuous manner, I'll go the fact that "nine" in English sounds like the German word for "no" so I will proceed to thank you all in nine languages:
I hope you get the message!
Please keep looking in, if for no other reason than to see what happens if it reaches 10,000...
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
As the nights draw in...
So today marks the summer solstice and therefore, the longest day of the year. Well I don't know about you but mine's certainly been a bloody drag.
I'm never entirely sure whether I should be marking the occasion because after all, for the next six months I'll have to find a diminishing number of excuses every day for not getting things done in the remaining daylight hours. Not that I'm accountable to anyone other than myself but I have to self justify my natural laziness sometimes.
It so happens that the neighbours are away today so perhaps I should erect a monilith in the back garden and although I've missed this morning's opportunity, I could convey my thanks for all things earthly by dancing around joyfully (suitably dressed or otherwise) as the longest day draws to a close.
Somewhat reminiscent of one of the council complaints letters that Jasper Carrott used to read out in his show "I'm writing to complain about the man next door who has an unsightly erection in his garden"...
I'm never entirely sure whether I should be marking the occasion because after all, for the next six months I'll have to find a diminishing number of excuses every day for not getting things done in the remaining daylight hours. Not that I'm accountable to anyone other than myself but I have to self justify my natural laziness sometimes.
It so happens that the neighbours are away today so perhaps I should erect a monilith in the back garden and although I've missed this morning's opportunity, I could convey my thanks for all things earthly by dancing around joyfully (suitably dressed or otherwise) as the longest day draws to a close.
Somewhat reminiscent of one of the council complaints letters that Jasper Carrott used to read out in his show "I'm writing to complain about the man next door who has an unsightly erection in his garden"...
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
En-ger-land...
So here I am again, adorned in appropriate shirt, alcohol free (so far), poised to watch the match and already bored to tears with the hour's worth of pre-match waffle. What's the temperature in the stadium? What do the pundit's think of Sven's selection? Where does Becks get his toothpaste from? Will Rooney start? If so, on whom?
We're through to the next round whatever tonight's result but apparently this match is important because we haven't beat the Swedes since I was two. Oh, and if we win or draw this one then the next one will be against Ecuador instead of Germany. Is that supposed to be a walkover? Did they overlook the fact that Ecuador will also have made it far as we have? They're even predicting the whole tournament so far as to claim that if we score this, then that, then the other, the first tough game we get will be the final against Argentina. Hmmm... not exactly convinced yet.
I'm really trying to get into the spirit of it all, honest, but I wish they'd just cut the bullshit and get on with it...
We're through to the next round whatever tonight's result but apparently this match is important because we haven't beat the Swedes since I was two. Oh, and if we win or draw this one then the next one will be against Ecuador instead of Germany. Is that supposed to be a walkover? Did they overlook the fact that Ecuador will also have made it far as we have? They're even predicting the whole tournament so far as to claim that if we score this, then that, then the other, the first tough game we get will be the final against Argentina. Hmmm... not exactly convinced yet.
I'm really trying to get into the spirit of it all, honest, but I wish they'd just cut the bullshit and get on with it...
Sunday, June 18, 2006
So tired...
I'm concerned that I may have been exposed to the alcohol equivalent of kryptonite as I seem to have lost my beer drinking super-powers.
Si Nichols made a welcome return to the Tap on Friday night and as expected, gave us all a great night's entertainment. Whilst in there, it would have been rude to pass up the chance of a good meal and a few ales which seemed non-excessive at the time, although I've been absolutely knackered since waking up Saturday morning.
I've still managed to get all of the necessary stuff done but if I sit down for more than five minutes, the next thing I know, I'm fast asleep. Perhaps [he hopes] it's not at all beer related and just a symptom of the incredibly warm weather we're enjoying right now, which I'm certainly not about to start complaining about.
I've been meaning to take five minutes aside to look up narcolepsy but... zzz... zzz... zzz...
Si Nichols made a welcome return to the Tap on Friday night and as expected, gave us all a great night's entertainment. Whilst in there, it would have been rude to pass up the chance of a good meal and a few ales which seemed non-excessive at the time, although I've been absolutely knackered since waking up Saturday morning.
I've still managed to get all of the necessary stuff done but if I sit down for more than five minutes, the next thing I know, I'm fast asleep. Perhaps [he hopes] it's not at all beer related and just a symptom of the incredibly warm weather we're enjoying right now, which I'm certainly not about to start complaining about.
I've been meaning to take five minutes aside to look up narcolepsy but... zzz... zzz... zzz...
Thursday, June 15, 2006
All for one...
Did I mention that I'm not a huge football fan? Oh yes, all the time and it still stands. I wasn't particularly bothered that I couldn't get away from the office in time to watch the start of this afternoon's England match but I did get to listen to the first half in the car and enjoy the journey on unusually quiet roads. I have to say that the radio commentary was less than flattering of our team's performance and I didn't feel inspired to get my foot to the floor to get home any sooner.
Home by the end of the first half, I threw some ingredients together for tea and left them bubbling away whilst I superstitiously put on my England "home" shirt, turned on the box and perched in front of it with a cuppa. Yep, the radio commentary was pretty spot on and I was not witnessing a team who looked likely to pass the group stages let alone win the tournament. (That said, I thought Brazil put on a pretty lacklustre show against Croatia on Tuesday too).
Like most people I know, I've been getting pretty fed up of late with the constant jabbering on about Rooney's broken metatarsal and how the nation's hopes are resting on his speedy recovery (which incidentally seemed to pick up a pace quite remarkably in this last week). However, in my naive little world of football ignorance, I had no idea that his team mates were completely reliant on his recovery too.
From the moment he stepped over the sideline this afternoon, we changed from a piss-poor half-interested bunch to a team who believed they might actually achieve something; 34 minutes and two goals later they had done. England are through to the next round. Great I suppose, but why did they leave it so late to get their act together? Why should it all be down to one individual's mere presence let alone contribution?
As I keep saying, it's a good job I'm not in the slightest bit interested in football...
Home by the end of the first half, I threw some ingredients together for tea and left them bubbling away whilst I superstitiously put on my England "home" shirt, turned on the box and perched in front of it with a cuppa. Yep, the radio commentary was pretty spot on and I was not witnessing a team who looked likely to pass the group stages let alone win the tournament. (That said, I thought Brazil put on a pretty lacklustre show against Croatia on Tuesday too).
Like most people I know, I've been getting pretty fed up of late with the constant jabbering on about Rooney's broken metatarsal and how the nation's hopes are resting on his speedy recovery (which incidentally seemed to pick up a pace quite remarkably in this last week). However, in my naive little world of football ignorance, I had no idea that his team mates were completely reliant on his recovery too.
From the moment he stepped over the sideline this afternoon, we changed from a piss-poor half-interested bunch to a team who believed they might actually achieve something; 34 minutes and two goals later they had done. England are through to the next round. Great I suppose, but why did they leave it so late to get their act together? Why should it all be down to one individual's mere presence let alone contribution?
As I keep saying, it's a good job I'm not in the slightest bit interested in football...
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Lazy blogging...
Every now and then my blogging muse abandons me (some would suggest more often than not) and as tonight is one such occasion, I'd like to share one of my favourite e-mails with you - all alledgedly genuine quotes taken from GCSE English essays:
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer.
3. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
4. McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup.
5. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
6. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the centre.
7. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
8. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
9. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
10. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left
11. The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
12. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
13. The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
14. The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon.
15. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
16. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
17. The plan was simple, like my mate Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
18. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for while.
19. "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a student on 31p-a-pint night.
20. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
21. Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."
22. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.
24. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.
25. The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.
26. It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools.
27. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing.
28. She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.
29. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature British beef.
30. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
31. Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.
32. It hurt, the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
Do you know, I dont really care if they're genuine or not, but I find it in my e-mail archives every now and again and it always makes me laugh...
Monday, June 12, 2006
Easily forgotten...
How easy it was to sit here all smug and gloat to the world how easy it is to lay of the ale for a few weeks. It's even more fun announcing to everyone how you've every intention of picking it up from where you left off and going back into beer monster mode.
How could I possibly have been so dumb to forget the slightly less fun you can endure the next day? Since discovering real ale all those years ago, I've never been one to suffer from hangovers, especially when suitably dosed to the eyeballs with milk thistle, but I suppose it's fair to say I was a little out of practise. As a result, it's also fair to say that Friday evening's little sojourn chez Tap was hardly preparation for the marathon session that Saturday held in store.
I'm told the weather was superb yesterday, but I didn't see any of it. In fact I'm still quite certain that had I been accompanied by someone suitably qualified, I could well have been pronounced clinically dead for much of yesterday.
On the plus side, all ill-effects have long since disappeared just like old times and I can barely remember the performance of our World Cup winning wannabees...
How could I possibly have been so dumb to forget the slightly less fun you can endure the next day? Since discovering real ale all those years ago, I've never been one to suffer from hangovers, especially when suitably dosed to the eyeballs with milk thistle, but I suppose it's fair to say I was a little out of practise. As a result, it's also fair to say that Friday evening's little sojourn chez Tap was hardly preparation for the marathon session that Saturday held in store.
I'm told the weather was superb yesterday, but I didn't see any of it. In fact I'm still quite certain that had I been accompanied by someone suitably qualified, I could well have been pronounced clinically dead for much of yesterday.
On the plus side, all ill-effects have long since disappeared just like old times and I can barely remember the performance of our World Cup winning wannabees...
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Splat...
I never really was any good at onomatopoeia, but that is supposed to be the sound of me falling of the wagon last night and although the health-kick is going well, I'm still a long way from wafting down from anything.
Yes folks, after five weeks I was re-acquainted with my old friend the Hobgoblin last night and I'm ashamed to admit that it was rather like bumping into an old friend. Strictly speaking, it's not been completely alcohol free for the past five weeks but I did last from 6th May to 5th June without a beer, with only a couple of glasses of wine in between to accompany the Sunday dinner I cooked for everyone the day after Mum's birthday.
The trip to Porto was relatively uneventful beer-wise although we did manage a couple of nice meals washed down with a two or three glasses of Super Bock, which even in the stout variety, doesn't count as real beer in my world. It was nice to escape from the hotel this time and see a bit more of Porto - clearly a city still going through significant re-development but quite charming in places all the same. Other than that the time was consumed either in a particularly drawn out and fruitless meeting or sat in airport lounges honing my su doku solving skills.
So, I hope you've all been keeping well while I've been away - I'll be catching up with everyone's blogs in between the world cup matches. Yes, I know I don't particularly like football but somehow I've managed to amass six England football tops so I ought to get myself down to the pub and do my bit to support the lads.
Peer pressure is a terrible thing...
Yes folks, after five weeks I was re-acquainted with my old friend the Hobgoblin last night and I'm ashamed to admit that it was rather like bumping into an old friend. Strictly speaking, it's not been completely alcohol free for the past five weeks but I did last from 6th May to 5th June without a beer, with only a couple of glasses of wine in between to accompany the Sunday dinner I cooked for everyone the day after Mum's birthday.
The trip to Porto was relatively uneventful beer-wise although we did manage a couple of nice meals washed down with a two or three glasses of Super Bock, which even in the stout variety, doesn't count as real beer in my world. It was nice to escape from the hotel this time and see a bit more of Porto - clearly a city still going through significant re-development but quite charming in places all the same. Other than that the time was consumed either in a particularly drawn out and fruitless meeting or sat in airport lounges honing my su doku solving skills.
So, I hope you've all been keeping well while I've been away - I'll be catching up with everyone's blogs in between the world cup matches. Yes, I know I don't particularly like football but somehow I've managed to amass six England football tops so I ought to get myself down to the pub and do my bit to support the lads.
Peer pressure is a terrible thing...
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Not so Big Brother...
[in dubious Geordie accent] Day 24 in the Big Seany house...
I've already admitted within comments on Delcattos blog that I've found this year's Big Brother more compelling than any sane person ought to so I'm not about to go over that old ground again.
No, I'm just here togloat update on the results of the new healthy regime before I disappear on my travels for a few days (where quite honestly I'm destined to go at least a little astray).
It wouldn't surprise you to read that I've managed to stay of the cigarettes for another 16 days over the big 500. I'm sure it would surprise you to know that it's four weeks since I've had a beer. However, what really surprised me is that in the last 24 days I've managed to lose over 4kgs! Not eating any less, just an hour's exercise every weekday morning and what little alcohol I have enjoyed has been in the form of the occasional glass of wine rather than battleship-floating quantities of ale.
It's going to be tough keeping the momentum over the next week or so whilst I'm visiting family and then nipping across to Portugal to enjoy some 5 star hospitality either end of a particularly long and arduous meeting.
Tough indeed, but somebody has to do it...
I've already admitted within comments on Delcattos blog that I've found this year's Big Brother more compelling than any sane person ought to so I'm not about to go over that old ground again.
No, I'm just here to
It wouldn't surprise you to read that I've managed to stay of the cigarettes for another 16 days over the big 500. I'm sure it would surprise you to know that it's four weeks since I've had a beer. However, what really surprised me is that in the last 24 days I've managed to lose over 4kgs! Not eating any less, just an hour's exercise every weekday morning and what little alcohol I have enjoyed has been in the form of the occasional glass of wine rather than battleship-floating quantities of ale.
It's going to be tough keeping the momentum over the next week or so whilst I'm visiting family and then nipping across to Portugal to enjoy some 5 star hospitality either end of a particularly long and arduous meeting.
Tough indeed, but somebody has to do it...
Monday, May 29, 2006
Story time...
We were told a story once at school about a woman who complained to a wise man that her house was too small and his remedy was to suggest that she took one of his chickens home for a few days to see if it made any difference.
Unsurprisingly, she returned shortly afterwards saying that she didn't see how this was meant to improve matters and in return he asked that she also look after one of his goats.
Still unhappy the following day, he asked her to look after one of his pigs aswell. Somewhat confused she reluctantly agreed once again.
Returning to complain for a 4th time, the wise man asked her to look after one of his cows and despite her initial agreement, she was soon back to the old man again demanding that he had done nothing to help and that he explain his ridiculous actions.
The wise old man took her back to her house, rounded up his chicken, goat, pig and cow and took them all back home with him, at which point the woman suddenly realised how large her house had suddenly become.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not in any way comparing any of my family with farmyard animals, but the bungalow certainly seems huge this afternoon...
Unsurprisingly, she returned shortly afterwards saying that she didn't see how this was meant to improve matters and in return he asked that she also look after one of his goats.
Still unhappy the following day, he asked her to look after one of his pigs aswell. Somewhat confused she reluctantly agreed once again.
Returning to complain for a 4th time, the wise man asked her to look after one of his cows and despite her initial agreement, she was soon back to the old man again demanding that he had done nothing to help and that he explain his ridiculous actions.
The wise old man took her back to her house, rounded up his chicken, goat, pig and cow and took them all back home with him, at which point the woman suddenly realised how large her house had suddenly become.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not in any way comparing any of my family with farmyard animals, but the bungalow certainly seems huge this afternoon...
Friday, May 26, 2006
Quick hello...
You may have noticed that posts have been a bit thin on the ground this week, well there is good reason and it's not all down to ISP limitations early on.
It's Mum's birthday tomorrow and I'd planned a meal out for her in the evening followed by some serious "falling off wagon" on my part. Little Sis rang on Tuesday night with the better idea that they all come up to spend the weekend at mine and call in to surprise Mum. Except that they can't get here any earlier than the time we'd planned to go out to eat!
Cue frantic topping up of food cupboards/freezer at home and shifting everything too fragile out two year old nephew reach, not to mention a good clean and tidy up all round. So we're all set, out for a meal at teatime as planned, little Sis will arrive early evening and "unexpectedly" walk into the pub; no doubt lots of smiles, hugs and tears all round. We'll all leave the pub shortly afterwards (as we'll want to see the kiddies and of course, their dad), spend the evening catching up and then all seven of us are at mine the next day for a roast beef Sunday lunch.
There'll be little chance to go far when everyone's gone home on Monday and the following weekend I'm making the return journey down south, followed by a quick business trip to Portugal for a couple of days.
So all in all, it's now looking like it could be a five week break before I get re-acquainted with my old friend the Hobgoblin, but I think it's a price worth paying...
It's Mum's birthday tomorrow and I'd planned a meal out for her in the evening followed by some serious "falling off wagon" on my part. Little Sis rang on Tuesday night with the better idea that they all come up to spend the weekend at mine and call in to surprise Mum. Except that they can't get here any earlier than the time we'd planned to go out to eat!
Cue frantic topping up of food cupboards/freezer at home and shifting everything too fragile out two year old nephew reach, not to mention a good clean and tidy up all round. So we're all set, out for a meal at teatime as planned, little Sis will arrive early evening and "unexpectedly" walk into the pub; no doubt lots of smiles, hugs and tears all round. We'll all leave the pub shortly afterwards (as we'll want to see the kiddies and of course, their dad), spend the evening catching up and then all seven of us are at mine the next day for a roast beef Sunday lunch.
There'll be little chance to go far when everyone's gone home on Monday and the following weekend I'm making the return journey down south, followed by a quick business trip to Portugal for a couple of days.
So all in all, it's now looking like it could be a five week break before I get re-acquainted with my old friend the Hobgoblin, but I think it's a price worth paying...
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Of Mousse and Men...
It'll have to be a quick post tonight before the internet service goes AWOL again whilst ntl carry out local services and repairs. Never mind, I'm sure they'll reimburse us all for any downtime incurred.
The office talk this afternoon turned to a documentary someone had recently seen about mousse, or meesse, or mousses, well you know, those big caribou-esque creatures with antlers. The curiosity was that apparently when twomousse mousses meesse of them prepare to fight for dominance, they first assess their chances according to the size of their opponents antlers and if they are bigger than their own, they are less likely to go into battle.
Sounds reasonable enough. What we couldn't understand is how they can see how big their own antlers are...
The office talk this afternoon turned to a documentary someone had recently seen about mousse, or meesse, or mousses, well you know, those big caribou-esque creatures with antlers. The curiosity was that apparently when two
Sounds reasonable enough. What we couldn't understand is how they can see how big their own antlers are...
Monday, May 22, 2006
Cheeky b...
OK, first I have to admit that this is a cheat - I didn't actually have internet access tonight so I'll type it tomorrow, change the post date to yesterday and then everyone will think I'm posting it tonight. Ahem...
You won't believe what I'm about to tell you as it is so absolutely ridiculous, but it is true.
Mum went to unlock their front door early Saturday morning but found herself struggling with the handle. No matter how she tried, the handle seemed to be making no attempt to control the mechanism within. It soon came to light that this was because somebody had stolen their external front door handle. Some cheeky little fuckhound saw fit to carefully remove the four screws holding it in place and made off with a manky brass coloured (but all the same fully functioning) door handle. They live on a busy main road too so I'm guessing that unless these cretins were even more spaced out than I'm already assuming, they also removed it during the night - in the dark.
See, I said you wouldn't believe me...
You won't believe what I'm about to tell you as it is so absolutely ridiculous, but it is true.
Mum went to unlock their front door early Saturday morning but found herself struggling with the handle. No matter how she tried, the handle seemed to be making no attempt to control the mechanism within. It soon came to light that this was because somebody had stolen their external front door handle. Some cheeky little fuckhound saw fit to carefully remove the four screws holding it in place and made off with a manky brass coloured (but all the same fully functioning) door handle. They live on a busy main road too so I'm guessing that unless these cretins were even more spaced out than I'm already assuming, they also removed it during the night - in the dark.
See, I said you wouldn't believe me...
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Oh Lordi Lordi...
I can't remember the last time I stayed in and watched the Eurovision Song Contest but if you take it at absolute face value, it's quite a laugh.
The theme for (normal) costumes this year seemed to be predominantly white or silver and I'm pleased to report a larger proportion of leg on show than I ever recall before; always a good excuse to refrain from changing channel.
I sat patiently through all 24 songs and to my complete and utter shame, made notes of anything I remotely liked. Special mention should go to Lithuania for fielding a silly football chant of a song and to Finland, the worthy winners pictured above, who were ridiculous in the extreme and my favourites from the outset.
Terry Wogan's commentary was on top form as always, demonstrating once again his incredible ability to predict the scores before each country's representative read them out. In fact, you just need a decent knowledge of European geography as most countries still vote for their neighbours irrespective of the song, artist, or anything else for that matter.
Our song? Sorry Daz but in my book it never stood a chance. Sweeping statement perhaps but in my opinion, the word "rap" has always been pronounced with a silent "c"...
Give me space...
I took a peek at MSN Spaces this morning to see what they had to offer and I'm pleased to report I won't be moving from Blogger any time soon.
However, it is free and my username was available so I set up this space on the basis that another incoming link wouldn't do any harm...
However, it is free and my username was available so I set up this space on the basis that another incoming link wouldn't do any harm...
Friday, May 19, 2006
Blog-osophy...
Delcatto's post tonight really got me thinking, so much so that I started leaving comments but they became so long-winded I thought it more appropriate to pay credit via a link and go off on a tangent of my own!
I had never really stopped before to consider why I started this blog in the first place, or more to the point why I keep it going. Ironically, it was Delcatto himself who introduced me to the notion of blogging one Saturday afternoon over a beer (or two) in recommending I read Scaryduck's offerings. As I read his blog, which is still incredibly funny incidentally, I remember thinking that everyone must have a few anecdotes that they love to share over a beer or two and being no exception, I could a put few of mine down to share with a wider audience.
Now I think about it, I suppose it serves a number of purposes:
~ It never really became anecdotal, it is more a means of sharing the mental meanderings that have entertained me during the day and hopefully people continue to find them amusing.
~ I'm dreadful at keeping in touch with friends and not just those who have moved away as Pete Frenzy in St. Louis, Steve in Toronto, Rob in Hull, Rich in Grimsby will all testify. Hopefully this is a means of letting them know that I am still alive and usually not up to anything too exciting
~ As age and alcohol consumption take their toll, it's also a convenient way to remember what I've done myself as I've never been able to keep a diary or journal for more than a few days in a row
~ Occasionally it provides a forum for me to rant about something (often trivial) and although I seldom offer solutions, I suppose it provides some therapeutic value to me.
So what's with the anonimity? I'm not entirely sure and it's only there to a certain extent. Seany is my real name (with the optional "y"), the little weemee character isn't a bad likeness (although I am a bit taller) and the fact that many friends old and new know about the blog and visit regularly, hardly maintains an MI5 level of secrecy.
I have consciously chosen not to mention it at work, having given the address to only one colleague (as I've chatted with him and his daughter frequently over MSN in the past) but this was on the request that he doesn't access it from his work laptop. It's not that I'm ashamed or embarassed but for some reason I like the freedom to write pretty much what I want knowing that the readers either know me extremely well or hardly at all and in either case are unlikely to be overly offended. Indeed, I recently had to give much consideration before admitting to Cherrypie that I knew her "mail order" ex through work, although I still have no intentions of saying anything to him about it.
There is also the wind-up merchant in me that keeps me going. Having already achieved Google "I'm Feeling Lucky" status when searching for Seany, it amuses me to think that people still end up here looking for Playboy bunny pictures, Samantha Janus photos and for a while last year, "Paula Radcliffe pissing video". There are perfectly innocent explanations in each case for how they arrived here (and I don't suppose this post will help) but I guess it serves them right!
Finally, if nothing else, as a means of reducing unecessary surplus, from day one in every title and every post I like to think that I have been chipping away at the European ellipsis mountain...
I had never really stopped before to consider why I started this blog in the first place, or more to the point why I keep it going. Ironically, it was Delcatto himself who introduced me to the notion of blogging one Saturday afternoon over a beer (or two) in recommending I read Scaryduck's offerings. As I read his blog, which is still incredibly funny incidentally, I remember thinking that everyone must have a few anecdotes that they love to share over a beer or two and being no exception, I could a put few of mine down to share with a wider audience.
Now I think about it, I suppose it serves a number of purposes:
~ It never really became anecdotal, it is more a means of sharing the mental meanderings that have entertained me during the day and hopefully people continue to find them amusing.
~ I'm dreadful at keeping in touch with friends and not just those who have moved away as Pete Frenzy in St. Louis, Steve in Toronto, Rob in Hull, Rich in Grimsby will all testify. Hopefully this is a means of letting them know that I am still alive and usually not up to anything too exciting
~ As age and alcohol consumption take their toll, it's also a convenient way to remember what I've done myself as I've never been able to keep a diary or journal for more than a few days in a row
~ Occasionally it provides a forum for me to rant about something (often trivial) and although I seldom offer solutions, I suppose it provides some therapeutic value to me.
So what's with the anonimity? I'm not entirely sure and it's only there to a certain extent. Seany is my real name (with the optional "y"), the little weemee character isn't a bad likeness (although I am a bit taller) and the fact that many friends old and new know about the blog and visit regularly, hardly maintains an MI5 level of secrecy.
I have consciously chosen not to mention it at work, having given the address to only one colleague (as I've chatted with him and his daughter frequently over MSN in the past) but this was on the request that he doesn't access it from his work laptop. It's not that I'm ashamed or embarassed but for some reason I like the freedom to write pretty much what I want knowing that the readers either know me extremely well or hardly at all and in either case are unlikely to be overly offended. Indeed, I recently had to give much consideration before admitting to Cherrypie that I knew her "mail order" ex through work, although I still have no intentions of saying anything to him about it.
There is also the wind-up merchant in me that keeps me going. Having already achieved Google "I'm Feeling Lucky" status when searching for Seany, it amuses me to think that people still end up here looking for Playboy bunny pictures, Samantha Janus photos and for a while last year, "Paula Radcliffe pissing video". There are perfectly innocent explanations in each case for how they arrived here (and I don't suppose this post will help) but I guess it serves them right!
Finally, if nothing else, as a means of reducing unecessary surplus, from day one in every title and every post I like to think that I have been chipping away at the European ellipsis mountain...
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Well would you believe it...
I set off for work this morning and at the bottom of the avenue I suddenly realised I wasn't wearing my watch. I resisted the temptation to turn back and contrary to my initial concerns, I didn't really spend the day feeling like my left arm had been amputated.
My daily commute was hampered both ways today by "undue hesitancy of the year" contestants and yet I wasn't actually late for anything*.
When I got home, contrary to this morning's forecast it was still sunny and I managed to run the mower over the back lawn before it threw it down with rain.
Little Sis told me a few years ago about a book she'd read called "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" which I never actually read (I'm very thinly read remember?) but I took the title to heart. Today is possibly proof that I still try not to...
*I have recently realised that it's not the delay that annoys me as much as the fact that I've taken a liking to tearing down quiet country lanes (safely of course) and these people are stopping my fun
My daily commute was hampered both ways today by "undue hesitancy of the year" contestants and yet I wasn't actually late for anything*.
When I got home, contrary to this morning's forecast it was still sunny and I managed to run the mower over the back lawn before it threw it down with rain.
Little Sis told me a few years ago about a book she'd read called "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" which I never actually read (I'm very thinly read remember?) but I took the title to heart. Today is possibly proof that I still try not to...
*I have recently realised that it's not the delay that annoys me as much as the fact that I've taken a liking to tearing down quiet country lanes (safely of course) and these people are stopping my fun
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Think they own the place...
After an uneventful day and less than memorable drive home today, I was feeling particularly tired and looking forward to a quick bite to eat followed by an early night. Fortunately as I turned into the cul-de-sac where I live, my wits were still sufficiently about me before I drove into one of them.
There must have been about four or five of them, difficult to tell how old, slowly sauntering down the middle of the road, not a care in the world and clearly showing no intention of moving onto the pavement. A couple of polite toots of the car horn resulted in little more than a sideways glance by one or two of them, they took a couple of steps further forward and all congregated together again in the middle.
What's the best thing to do in cases like this? I'm not usually an aggressive person but I'll admit that my seatbelt was undone and I was at the point of getting out of the car to confront them when I realised there was just enough room to drive past them.
Bloody ducks...
There must have been about four or five of them, difficult to tell how old, slowly sauntering down the middle of the road, not a care in the world and clearly showing no intention of moving onto the pavement. A couple of polite toots of the car horn resulted in little more than a sideways glance by one or two of them, they took a couple of steps further forward and all congregated together again in the middle.
What's the best thing to do in cases like this? I'm not usually an aggressive person but I'll admit that my seatbelt was undone and I was at the point of getting out of the car to confront them when I realised there was just enough room to drive past them.
Bloody ducks...
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Many hands make light work...
Well two hands to be more exact.
When I first moved into the bungalow, it was nice to see it had been suitably equipped with several security and courtesy external lights, but the only one I have never really got to grips with was the courtesy light above the garage door which despite my numerous twiddlings, came on at dusk and stayed on, I presume, until it got bored with the view. Another job consigned to the "I must get round to sorting that out properly sometime" list.
Tonight however, the garage door flew open in a somewhat more livelier manner than expected, somehow managing to smash the lights mounting plate in the process. As if by magic, "sometime" suddenly became "now" and judging by the thick black clouds hovering overhead, sooner than "now" would be preferable.
Fortunately, I had a PIR halogen light which I'd bought for the last house and which had never made it off the "sometime" list so it was a relatively easy swap. This was of course followed by the ritual back, forth & sidestep dance in the drive which is apparently necessary to check I'd got the sensitivity right. It seems the slightest tweak changes the sensitivity setting from "yeti leaping right in front of it" to "ant farts three miles away" but it is now installed and hopefully not illuminating too much of the remainder of the neighbourhood.
Aside from a more practical security light than it's predecessor, it should save me on electricity too as it will be on for considerably less time. Next job is to find a new gadget to spend my potential savings on...
When I first moved into the bungalow, it was nice to see it had been suitably equipped with several security and courtesy external lights, but the only one I have never really got to grips with was the courtesy light above the garage door which despite my numerous twiddlings, came on at dusk and stayed on, I presume, until it got bored with the view. Another job consigned to the "I must get round to sorting that out properly sometime" list.
Tonight however, the garage door flew open in a somewhat more livelier manner than expected, somehow managing to smash the lights mounting plate in the process. As if by magic, "sometime" suddenly became "now" and judging by the thick black clouds hovering overhead, sooner than "now" would be preferable.
Fortunately, I had a PIR halogen light which I'd bought for the last house and which had never made it off the "sometime" list so it was a relatively easy swap. This was of course followed by the ritual back, forth & sidestep dance in the drive which is apparently necessary to check I'd got the sensitivity right. It seems the slightest tweak changes the sensitivity setting from "yeti leaping right in front of it" to "ant farts three miles away" but it is now installed and hopefully not illuminating too much of the remainder of the neighbourhood.
Aside from a more practical security light than it's predecessor, it should save me on electricity too as it will be on for considerably less time. Next job is to find a new gadget to spend my potential savings on...
A breath of fresh air...
I'm feeling particularly pleased with myself today because it is now 500 days since my last cigarette.
Assuming that I smoked 20 per day and that I bought them all the supermarket, that means I would have smoked 10,000 cigarettes in this time at a cost of £2065! To tell the truth, 20 a day would be an under-estimate and more often than not I would have bought packs of 18 or less at an even higher pack price from a vending machine. I did roll my own for a while too but whatever the fine detail, I'll still have made a substantial saving.
Despite the financial gains, by now the risk of my having a heart attack is less than half than it would have been had I continued smoking. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't put on weight but that is more as a result of my continued appreciation for real ale rather than any substitution snacking.
I wish I could pass on my secret of how I got this far so easily, but I think I just reached a point where I'd had enough of them. In the last 17 months I think there have only been two or three occasions where it's crossed my mind, but it's never lingered for long. More to the point, the places where smokers are accepted are rapidly diminishing so I thought it better to stop of my own choosing before being press-ganged into it.
If you're reading this and thinking about stopping, please consider it seriously and take advantage of the wealth of free help and advice out there. The Allen Carr website was enough to get me started (or stopped), but all of these links may be helpful:
Allen Carrs Easyway
ASH
British Heart Foundation
NHS - Don't give up giving up
Quit
I'm here as proof that it can be done without spending money on patches or pills but there's no shame in either if you want a helping hand. I'll not deny that used to enjoy smoking and I'm certainly not here to lecture anybody or get into any "freedom of choice" arguments, I'm just suggesting that if you've ever even considered stopping, give it a go...
Assuming that I smoked 20 per day and that I bought them all the supermarket, that means I would have smoked 10,000 cigarettes in this time at a cost of £2065! To tell the truth, 20 a day would be an under-estimate and more often than not I would have bought packs of 18 or less at an even higher pack price from a vending machine. I did roll my own for a while too but whatever the fine detail, I'll still have made a substantial saving.
Despite the financial gains, by now the risk of my having a heart attack is less than half than it would have been had I continued smoking. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't put on weight but that is more as a result of my continued appreciation for real ale rather than any substitution snacking.
I wish I could pass on my secret of how I got this far so easily, but I think I just reached a point where I'd had enough of them. In the last 17 months I think there have only been two or three occasions where it's crossed my mind, but it's never lingered for long. More to the point, the places where smokers are accepted are rapidly diminishing so I thought it better to stop of my own choosing before being press-ganged into it.
If you're reading this and thinking about stopping, please consider it seriously and take advantage of the wealth of free help and advice out there. The Allen Carr website was enough to get me started (or stopped), but all of these links may be helpful:
Allen Carrs Easyway
ASH
British Heart Foundation
NHS - Don't give up giving up
Quit
I'm here as proof that it can be done without spending money on patches or pills but there's no shame in either if you want a helping hand. I'll not deny that used to enjoy smoking and I'm certainly not here to lecture anybody or get into any "freedom of choice" arguments, I'm just suggesting that if you've ever even considered stopping, give it a go...
Monday, May 15, 2006
Reasons to be cheerful...
One...
My little nephew is celebrating his 2nd birthday today. It sounds like he's had a good day although he's a bit overwhelmed by the sudden influx of presents and extra attention. As I explained to Little Sis this evening, you have to give the poor little fella a chance - he'd only just got used to being one.
Two...
With my first week of the new healthy regime complete (destined to last at least a couple more days) I have lost just over two pounds, my BMI has dropped a point and body fat percentage has dropped by just over one percent. Cherrypie will be relieved to hear that I have no idea (or interest) whether my urine PH level has changed or not! Newsflash just in - guess to went to the pub for an hour after work tonight and drank no more than a glass of J20? By the way, if you're looking in Dave, thanks again for the parasol (readers please note - the parasol was for my garden not the soft drink)
Three...
The new hard disk caddy is up and running, I've discovered a veritable treasure trove of wonderful forgotten goodies and I've only had the chance to glance briefly through one disk. One particular which I must get onto a CD and into the car is a heavy metal ABBA tribute album - has to be heard to be believed.
Finally, thanks should go to Chris Evans for playing Ian Drury's "What a Waste" on his drive time show this evening which in a typically roundabout way got my grey cells working on tonight's post...
My little nephew is celebrating his 2nd birthday today. It sounds like he's had a good day although he's a bit overwhelmed by the sudden influx of presents and extra attention. As I explained to Little Sis this evening, you have to give the poor little fella a chance - he'd only just got used to being one.
Two...
With my first week of the new healthy regime complete (destined to last at least a couple more days) I have lost just over two pounds, my BMI has dropped a point and body fat percentage has dropped by just over one percent. Cherrypie will be relieved to hear that I have no idea (or interest) whether my urine PH level has changed or not! Newsflash just in - guess to went to the pub for an hour after work tonight and drank no more than a glass of J20? By the way, if you're looking in Dave, thanks again for the parasol (readers please note - the parasol was for my garden not the soft drink)
Three...
The new hard disk caddy is up and running, I've discovered a veritable treasure trove of wonderful forgotten goodies and I've only had the chance to glance briefly through one disk. One particular which I must get onto a CD and into the car is a heavy metal ABBA tribute album - has to be heard to be believed.
Finally, thanks should go to Chris Evans for playing Ian Drury's "What a Waste" on his drive time show this evening which in a typically roundabout way got my grey cells working on tonight's post...
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Plug N Not Playing...
Amongst the goodies I got yesterday, I also decided to treat myself to a hard disk caddy which like many things, seemed a really good idea in principle. I just needed to plug in one of the hard disks from the PC that's currently enjoying retirement (ok, it's still waiting for a new motherboard), connect a USB lead from the caddy to my laptop and hey presto, my storage space has suddenly increased by 200GB and I have access to the files I once feared I might have lost forever.
With the ensuing fun of CD playing and study clearance, I didn't get the chance to try it out yesterday, but with no space left in the bins, I took my chance this afternoon. First roadblock - the unit was missing from the box! The cables and accompanying CDs were all present but no sign of the actual unit itself which didn't bode well for progress. A quick trip back to the store and on sight of my receipt (and somewhat embarrassed expression), they were happy to exchange the ex-display box for a complete one.
Brief interlude to eat a roast dinner then back to the magic box and time to find out exactly what was left behind on the old disks - there is a potential of 480gb of space in total and I have genuinely forgotten what I left on there. After over an hour of connecting, disconnecting and re-connecting, restarting and rebooting I'm afraid to say I'm still no better off so it looks like another trip back to the store after work tomorrow.
I'm certain I've checked and tried everything I should have done, but after my first return visit, I've a terrible feeling it will turn out to be something really straight forward again...
With the ensuing fun of CD playing and study clearance, I didn't get the chance to try it out yesterday, but with no space left in the bins, I took my chance this afternoon. First roadblock - the unit was missing from the box! The cables and accompanying CDs were all present but no sign of the actual unit itself which didn't bode well for progress. A quick trip back to the store and on sight of my receipt (and somewhat embarrassed expression), they were happy to exchange the ex-display box for a complete one.
Brief interlude to eat a roast dinner then back to the magic box and time to find out exactly what was left behind on the old disks - there is a potential of 480gb of space in total and I have genuinely forgotten what I left on there. After over an hour of connecting, disconnecting and re-connecting, restarting and rebooting I'm afraid to say I'm still no better off so it looks like another trip back to the store after work tomorrow.
I'm certain I've checked and tried everything I should have done, but after my first return visit, I've a terrible feeling it will turn out to be something really straight forward again...
Saturday, May 13, 2006
What a save...
I'm not referring to the performance of Messrs Reina and Hislop in this afternoon's match; unsurprisingly I skipped the trip to the pub to watch the cup final this afternoon (best for years or otherwise), there was plenty to do at home instead. I'm not even referring to Steve Mildenhall's contribution towards Grimsby Town's promotion into League One. I don't think I need to elaborate further on my disinterest in football.
The "save" in question is mine and I'm talking about saving money. Or more to the point, how completely hopeless I am at it (rather like football actually).
My parents tried to teach me the value of money as a child, giving me chores to complete to earn my pocket money rather than just giving it to me. I was also encouraged to take up paper rounds and part time jobs as soon as I was old enough to re-inforce the difference between earning money and being given it. Despite this headstart, I have always found it difficult to save money in the occasional times I have had some surplus. I've no idea how I ever managed to save enough for a deposit for a house.
It still hasn't changed. Last night, the hedge bordering my front garden got a long overdue trimming and shaping courtesy of my uncle who just happens to be a gardener (incidentally, he also happens to be an incredibly generous man who refused to take anything other than a can of beer in payment). It also provided an excuse to spend a equally long overdue Friday night in, choosing to use the time more wisely putting shelves up in the study rather than another weekly beer marathon.
So if you add up the savings over two days: a gardener for two hours, four taxi fares, a couple of pub meals, enough beer to float a battleship and the inevitable pool & jukebox fodder, I probably ought to be about a hundred quid in pocket by now. Unfortunately my subconscious was already one step ahead and had me trotting into town to by a portable CD/Radio/Cassette/MP3 player so I can listen to music in the study during my early morning stints on the running machine and also whilst I'm sorting through all of the other stuff I've dumped in there.
I suppose I should take some comfort that while I've been spending pounds in one way, it will make life more pleasant while I'm trying to lose them elsewhere...
The "save" in question is mine and I'm talking about saving money. Or more to the point, how completely hopeless I am at it (rather like football actually).
My parents tried to teach me the value of money as a child, giving me chores to complete to earn my pocket money rather than just giving it to me. I was also encouraged to take up paper rounds and part time jobs as soon as I was old enough to re-inforce the difference between earning money and being given it. Despite this headstart, I have always found it difficult to save money in the occasional times I have had some surplus. I've no idea how I ever managed to save enough for a deposit for a house.
It still hasn't changed. Last night, the hedge bordering my front garden got a long overdue trimming and shaping courtesy of my uncle who just happens to be a gardener (incidentally, he also happens to be an incredibly generous man who refused to take anything other than a can of beer in payment). It also provided an excuse to spend a equally long overdue Friday night in, choosing to use the time more wisely putting shelves up in the study rather than another weekly beer marathon.
So if you add up the savings over two days: a gardener for two hours, four taxi fares, a couple of pub meals, enough beer to float a battleship and the inevitable pool & jukebox fodder, I probably ought to be about a hundred quid in pocket by now. Unfortunately my subconscious was already one step ahead and had me trotting into town to by a portable CD/Radio/Cassette/MP3 player so I can listen to music in the study during my early morning stints on the running machine and also whilst I'm sorting through all of the other stuff I've dumped in there.
I suppose I should take some comfort that while I've been spending pounds in one way, it will make life more pleasant while I'm trying to lose them elsewhere...
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Scam alert...
I was sent this a while ago on e-mail and was recently reminded of it when reading Jay's DaTaste blog. If you haven't seen this already, please read it, take note and pass it on to all of your male friends :
I am posting this to you to warn you of something that happened to me, as I have become a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. This happened to me at Tesco and it could happen to you.
This is how it works:
Two seriously good-looking 18-year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping in the boot. They both start wiping your window with a soapy sponge, their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy t-shirts. It is impossible not to look.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
It's better to give...
After a high speed internet shopping spree on Sunday evening, I was delighted to see all of the family birthday presents had arrived when I got home today.
Obviously, I can't say what they are as there is always a chance that they may be looking in but I think they will all be pleased. I know it's a cliche but I genuinely do get as much if not more fun choosing presents for people as I do by receiving them. I can say without fear of contradiction that none of them will have the slightest clue what they're getting and they won't be finding out from me either- that's all part of the fun.
I truly believe that if you have to ask somebody what they want, then you probably don't know them well enough to buy them a present in the first place. Equally, I've never understood how people get away with gift vouchers - you may as well be honest and say "I can't be bothered to think of anything, go and get it yourself"
21 days and it will all be over again for another year; well at least until October when my niece turns seven. We are the only two of the family who aren't swept up in this 5 week birthday season, which also means that when they do come around, we get to enjoy our birthday celebrations all to ourselves for that little bit longer.
Now there's a nice sentiment...
Obviously, I can't say what they are as there is always a chance that they may be looking in but I think they will all be pleased. I know it's a cliche but I genuinely do get as much if not more fun choosing presents for people as I do by receiving them. I can say without fear of contradiction that none of them will have the slightest clue what they're getting and they won't be finding out from me either- that's all part of the fun.
I truly believe that if you have to ask somebody what they want, then you probably don't know them well enough to buy them a present in the first place. Equally, I've never understood how people get away with gift vouchers - you may as well be honest and say "I can't be bothered to think of anything, go and get it yourself"
21 days and it will all be over again for another year; well at least until October when my niece turns seven. We are the only two of the family who aren't swept up in this 5 week birthday season, which also means that when they do come around, we get to enjoy our birthday celebrations all to ourselves for that little bit longer.
Now there's a nice sentiment...
Monday, May 08, 2006
Back on the run...
Well, I've stalled for as long as I can possibly get away with it and the study is finally clear enough for me to get to the infamous running machine.
It has been seriously neglected for the 6 months I've been living here; the only exercise it's provided is by my moving it around or clearing the dust off it. The original train of thought was that by spending such a ridiculous amount of money on the thing, I would be so riddled with guilt as to make sure I got plenty of value out of it in return.
I started off well and began to notice results in no time at all, but one bout of man-flu put me out of my routine and I'm not the most easily motivated individual when it comes to physical exertion (aside from the fact I can be damned lazy if I put my mind to it).
Anyway the facts are clear, even to me:
It has been seriously neglected for the 6 months I've been living here; the only exercise it's provided is by my moving it around or clearing the dust off it. The original train of thought was that by spending such a ridiculous amount of money on the thing, I would be so riddled with guilt as to make sure I got plenty of value out of it in return.
I started off well and began to notice results in no time at all, but one bout of man-flu put me out of my routine and I'm not the most easily motivated individual when it comes to physical exertion (aside from the fact I can be damned lazy if I put my mind to it).
Anyway the facts are clear, even to me:
- I know I could afford to lose a few stone without looking particularly emaciated
- Despite having given up smoking over 16 months ago, I still get out of breath going upstairs (kinda difficult in my bungalow anyway) or hurrying to catch the bus into town
- There's a heap of clothes in the wardrobe which ought to fit better than they do
- Since passing the big four-oh, I ought to be paying more attention to my general well-being
- I need to compensate for my growing addiction to the manufacture and consumption of home baked goods
- it cost me a shitload of money and still owes me big-time
Saturday, May 06, 2006
It's the thought that counts...
I love the way the above phrase is used to mask complete disappointment or utter failure.
Today for example I got an early start, mowed front & back lawns, cleared a few weeds from the back garden then dug out my multimeter and toolbox to repair my long-neglected hedgetrimmer as I need to get the leylandi in the front to a manageable height before it goes wild. The good news is that I managed to get it up and running without too much effort but the weather started to threaten rain so I'm afraid it didn't get any activity in the garden. Still, it's the thought that counts.
Determined to have an alcohol-free Saturday I busied the rest of my day with the usual chores and playing in the kitchen turning out all manner of bread, buns and cake (yes - the chocolate cake recipe finally worked). Satisified with another busy day's achievements, I grilled a nice steak for tea and rustled up a red wine sauce to go with it. The thing is, once you've opened a nice bottle of red, you have to finish it in case it goes off (honest). So it wasn't quite the alcohol free day I'd planned, but it's the thought that counts...
Today for example I got an early start, mowed front & back lawns, cleared a few weeds from the back garden then dug out my multimeter and toolbox to repair my long-neglected hedgetrimmer as I need to get the leylandi in the front to a manageable height before it goes wild. The good news is that I managed to get it up and running without too much effort but the weather started to threaten rain so I'm afraid it didn't get any activity in the garden. Still, it's the thought that counts.
Determined to have an alcohol-free Saturday I busied the rest of my day with the usual chores and playing in the kitchen turning out all manner of bread, buns and cake (yes - the chocolate cake recipe finally worked). Satisified with another busy day's achievements, I grilled a nice steak for tea and rustled up a red wine sauce to go with it. The thing is, once you've opened a nice bottle of red, you have to finish it in case it goes off (honest). So it wasn't quite the alcohol free day I'd planned, but it's the thought that counts...
Friday, May 05, 2006
Friday frivolity...
Just over a year ago, I introduced new Mr Man and South Park characters to the world and today, thanks to a link found on Samantha's site, I give you Simpsons Seany:
OK, I accept the physique isn't too lifelike, but the activity certainly is and unlike the antics in the real Springfield, this is only a cartoon...
OK, I accept the physique isn't too lifelike, but the activity certainly is and unlike the antics in the real Springfield, this is only a cartoon...
Thursday, May 04, 2006
On the ball...
I am not much of a football fan.
Don't look out for that on the headline news this evening - even BBC Look North would find news more earth shattering than that (especially seeing as Mr "2 shags" Prescott & his wife have chosen to cast their votes from their home village this evening). Anyone who's read this blog in any detail will have seen several admissions to my lack of interest in the game; in fact I would go so far as to say that I've never been enormously interested in either playing or watching it.
In my youth, I felt the need on a couple of occasions to really put this to the test and went along to Blundell Park to watch our "local heroes" play, but alas it was never meant to be. The combination of not particularly enjoying the match and being practically shredded through the fence at the front of the Pontoon Stand left me sufficiently bereft of interest to ever return.
On the two occasions I did visit, I picked up a souvenir programme each time, brought them home, put them in a drawer somewhere and completely forgot about them - until I found them both in near-mint condition at the bottom of a box last weekend that is.
One of them was for a match we played against Hull City on 7th April 1980 and guess who was on their team that season? A certain Steve McLaren who you may have heard mentioned on the news today having been named as the new England manager. Quicker than you could say "get it on e-Bay", I retrieved my programme just to check whether I could claim the extremely unlikely event "the guy who isn't interested in football has only seen two league football matches, during one of which the current England manager played".
Although he's on their team photo, he wasn't listed on the back cover so I'm guessing he was on the bench that day. Which makes my programme somewhat less rare. And less worthwhile flogging on e-Bay for untold millions.
Stupid bloody game anyway...
Don't look out for that on the headline news this evening - even BBC Look North would find news more earth shattering than that (especially seeing as Mr "2 shags" Prescott & his wife have chosen to cast their votes from their home village this evening). Anyone who's read this blog in any detail will have seen several admissions to my lack of interest in the game; in fact I would go so far as to say that I've never been enormously interested in either playing or watching it.
In my youth, I felt the need on a couple of occasions to really put this to the test and went along to Blundell Park to watch our "local heroes" play, but alas it was never meant to be. The combination of not particularly enjoying the match and being practically shredded through the fence at the front of the Pontoon Stand left me sufficiently bereft of interest to ever return.
On the two occasions I did visit, I picked up a souvenir programme each time, brought them home, put them in a drawer somewhere and completely forgot about them - until I found them both in near-mint condition at the bottom of a box last weekend that is.
One of them was for a match we played against Hull City on 7th April 1980 and guess who was on their team that season? A certain Steve McLaren who you may have heard mentioned on the news today having been named as the new England manager. Quicker than you could say "get it on e-Bay", I retrieved my programme just to check whether I could claim the extremely unlikely event "the guy who isn't interested in football has only seen two league football matches, during one of which the current England manager played".
Although he's on their team photo, he wasn't listed on the back cover so I'm guessing he was on the bench that day. Which makes my programme somewhat less rare. And less worthwhile flogging on e-Bay for untold millions.
Stupid bloody game anyway...
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
X marks the spot...
It's local election day tomorrow which aside from providing a moments infantile amusement for the local Chinese community, puts me in a bit of a quandry.
As this is my first election since I moved into the area, I have no real indication of how effective any of the candidates are aside from reading the literature that poured through the letterbox. Unfortunately, only one leaflet for one candidate "poured" through so I can't even weigh up the competition.
Determined to do my democratic bit, I searched our council website and found the candidates who are standing in my ward and searched for more info on them both, but with little success.
I've always firmly believed that any vote is usually for the "least worst" candidate as I always seem to be picking the best of a bad job, but equally, democracy should not be taken for granted and at least by casting my vote I am entitled to witter (and possibly blog) about the consequences.
I would settle for "eenie, meenie, miney, mo" except of course that it's no longer politically correct...
As this is my first election since I moved into the area, I have no real indication of how effective any of the candidates are aside from reading the literature that poured through the letterbox. Unfortunately, only one leaflet for one candidate "poured" through so I can't even weigh up the competition.
Determined to do my democratic bit, I searched our council website and found the candidates who are standing in my ward and searched for more info on them both, but with little success.
I've always firmly believed that any vote is usually for the "least worst" candidate as I always seem to be picking the best of a bad job, but equally, democracy should not be taken for granted and at least by casting my vote I am entitled to witter (and possibly blog) about the consequences.
I would settle for "eenie, meenie, miney, mo" except of course that it's no longer politically correct...
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
By special request...
As yesterday's post was inspired by a suggestion from Delcatto, I feel obliged to honour a request so ladies and gentlemen, please take a look at this thing of natural and rare beauty:
Isn't it beautiful? That, dear readers, is a young planetary nebula known to it's friends by the rather catchy name of MyCn18.
Oh, and it can be found about 8000 light years from my house...
Isn't it beautiful? That, dear readers, is a young planetary nebula known to it's friends by the rather catchy name of MyCn18.
Oh, and it can be found about 8000 light years from my house...
And still they come...
Thanks again everybody!
I'm delighted to see the Bravenet counter has registered another 1000 which means there have now been over 8000 visits to my humble little blog. It's hard to believe that only a little over a month ago I was posting to thank you all for helping me past the 7000 mark. Traditionally, I've tried to mark the milestone passing with a special post and this time I've decided to pick up on one of Delcatto's suggestions and look 8000 around me:
8000 centimeters would get me just around the corner from where I live. Nothing unusual there other than the ducks who have strangely made their home on the patch of grass at the side of the road.
8000 inches wouldn't get you much further, possibly about halfway to bus stop that I ought to use more often than local taxi firm
8000 feet takes you to Tesco. Nothing eventful going on there now I'm getting back into the habit of buying what I went in there for with a bit less of "I could use one of those"...
8000 yards is the approximate distance from my house to our local landmark, the Dock Tower
8000 metres would get you to my last house; the place that should go on record as one of the worst property investments ever made with no profit after ten years.
8000 kilometers (quite a jump there) would get you to the Chinese Spring City of the North, Changchun City. Or maybe the Mumbwa Caves in Zambia, a site of numerous significant archealogical finds (including very early evidence of cosmetics)
8000 miles from me is Lively Island which despite it's wonderful name, it's major claim to fame on Wikipedia is being the largest rat-free island of the Falkands and is home to a sheep farm.
Hmmm... sheep farm, it suppose it could get lively if you find a nice looking one...
I'm delighted to see the Bravenet counter has registered another 1000 which means there have now been over 8000 visits to my humble little blog. It's hard to believe that only a little over a month ago I was posting to thank you all for helping me past the 7000 mark. Traditionally, I've tried to mark the milestone passing with a special post and this time I've decided to pick up on one of Delcatto's suggestions and look 8000 around me:
8000 centimeters would get me just around the corner from where I live. Nothing unusual there other than the ducks who have strangely made their home on the patch of grass at the side of the road.
8000 inches wouldn't get you much further, possibly about halfway to bus stop that I ought to use more often than local taxi firm
8000 feet takes you to Tesco. Nothing eventful going on there now I'm getting back into the habit of buying what I went in there for with a bit less of "I could use one of those"...
8000 yards is the approximate distance from my house to our local landmark, the Dock Tower
8000 metres would get you to my last house; the place that should go on record as one of the worst property investments ever made with no profit after ten years.
8000 kilometers (quite a jump there) would get you to the Chinese Spring City of the North, Changchun City. Or maybe the Mumbwa Caves in Zambia, a site of numerous significant archealogical finds (including very early evidence of cosmetics)
8000 miles from me is Lively Island which despite it's wonderful name, it's major claim to fame on Wikipedia is being the largest rat-free island of the Falkands and is home to a sheep farm.
Hmmm... sheep farm, it suppose it could get lively if you find a nice looking one...
Monday, May 01, 2006
What a May Day...
You can't beat a relaxing Bank Holiday Monday. Perhaps today I could have tried, but I suspect the guilt of having done so little yesterday motivated me to get an early start this morning. So today's achievements before sitting down this afternoon for a sandwich and a well earned cuppa:
~ Usual weekend chores such as getting the washing done, emptying the dishwasher, taking the hoover for a walk, and so on
~ Sorted through the last of the old clothes and put aside everything I'm not likely to wear again (by choice or otherwise) for the next charity bag that arrives through the door
~ Baked a cake and two loaves of bread. Still a long way to go before the sponge cake is worthy of a picture but at least it was edible this time (without a straw). One of the loaves was a standard wholemeal and this week's experiment is a cheese & bacon loaf. Apparently the latter goes very well with poached eggs but I have about another hour to wait before I find out
~ I finally cleared enough shelf space to unpack all of my videos. Many moons ago when I first got a video recorder, it seemed more logical to number each tape and keep a separate log rather keep re-labeling the tapes themselves. Hence momentary panic this afternoon when I was faced with 62 numbered tapes with no idea of what was on them
~ PC unpacked although not assembled - seemed a bit pointless seeing as the motherboard is no doubt still very poorly and in need of replacement. All the same, the unpacked components do take up much less room than the sum of their boxes
~ Notice board put up in the hallway to keep all of the emergency numbers at hand such as alarm engineer, plumber, pizza house, etc.
~ Another four boxes cleared out of the study, mostly via the shredder or the wheelie-bin and found lots of other old goodies I'd forgotten about. I'll post a separate blog about them sometime
~ Finally, I treated the front and back lawns to a good helping of Weed N Feed seeing as the nicely groomed lawns I created last week have become infested with numerous varieties of horticultural vermin
I hate to admit this, but after that lot I'm almost looking forward to getting back to work tomorrow...
Update 18:30 - scrambled eggs, chopped mushrooms on toasted cheese & bacon bread, topped with a sprinkling of chopped parsley is the best thing since (or at least a good way of eating) sliced bread...
~ Usual weekend chores such as getting the washing done, emptying the dishwasher, taking the hoover for a walk, and so on
~ Sorted through the last of the old clothes and put aside everything I'm not likely to wear again (by choice or otherwise) for the next charity bag that arrives through the door
~ Baked a cake and two loaves of bread. Still a long way to go before the sponge cake is worthy of a picture but at least it was edible this time (without a straw). One of the loaves was a standard wholemeal and this week's experiment is a cheese & bacon loaf. Apparently the latter goes very well with poached eggs but I have about another hour to wait before I find out
~ I finally cleared enough shelf space to unpack all of my videos. Many moons ago when I first got a video recorder, it seemed more logical to number each tape and keep a separate log rather keep re-labeling the tapes themselves. Hence momentary panic this afternoon when I was faced with 62 numbered tapes with no idea of what was on them
~ PC unpacked although not assembled - seemed a bit pointless seeing as the motherboard is no doubt still very poorly and in need of replacement. All the same, the unpacked components do take up much less room than the sum of their boxes
~ Notice board put up in the hallway to keep all of the emergency numbers at hand such as alarm engineer, plumber, pizza house, etc.
~ Another four boxes cleared out of the study, mostly via the shredder or the wheelie-bin and found lots of other old goodies I'd forgotten about. I'll post a separate blog about them sometime
~ Finally, I treated the front and back lawns to a good helping of Weed N Feed seeing as the nicely groomed lawns I created last week have become infested with numerous varieties of horticultural vermin
I hate to admit this, but after that lot I'm almost looking forward to getting back to work tomorrow...
Update 18:30 - scrambled eggs, chopped mushrooms on toasted cheese & bacon bread, topped with a sprinkling of chopped parsley is the best thing since (or at least a good way of eating) sliced bread...
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Modest Indulgence...
I realised this weekend that sometimes, it's possible to really enjoy yourself without being particularly extravagant.
Yesterday we celebrated Rob's 40th by re-enacting our latter day tradition of attending the Cleethorpes Beer Festival. I'm certain I won't be alone in thinking that the festival itself was quite a disappointment in terms of small choice of beer available and little variety amongst those on offer. Worse still, they were all served in plastic cups which I'm sure tainted the flavours.
That said, we had a table to ourselves, large enough to seat around 15 people at one point and we had a very enjoyable afternoon affording the chance for the birthday boy to catch up with family and friends old and new and for many of us to meet his lovely new wife Sharon for the first time.
Coincidentally, there was a European market on the seafront that afternoon which meant we could enjoy spicy sausages, garlic bread and a variety of stuffed olives for tea, rather than the usual fish & chips out of newspaper. Before catching the train back into town we called in at the local CAMRA pub of the year where aside from a decent glass of real ale, we tried some Penderyn malt whisky and Merlyn whisky liqueur, both rather unique in the fact that they hail from Wales.
To finish the day, we returned to the Tap (our unofficial pub of the year - and longer for that matter) where we met up with more old friends and enjoyed several pints of excellent real ale until the last of us wandered out of the door around 11:30pm.
Today by complete contrast I've done bugger all other than catch up on some sleep, watch the usual repeats on ABC1 and tuck into a few rounds of eggy bread for tea.
Overall an excellent weekend, offering something a little different from the norm and somehow, I managed to spend considerably less than normal...
Yesterday we celebrated Rob's 40th by re-enacting our latter day tradition of attending the Cleethorpes Beer Festival. I'm certain I won't be alone in thinking that the festival itself was quite a disappointment in terms of small choice of beer available and little variety amongst those on offer. Worse still, they were all served in plastic cups which I'm sure tainted the flavours.
That said, we had a table to ourselves, large enough to seat around 15 people at one point and we had a very enjoyable afternoon affording the chance for the birthday boy to catch up with family and friends old and new and for many of us to meet his lovely new wife Sharon for the first time.
Coincidentally, there was a European market on the seafront that afternoon which meant we could enjoy spicy sausages, garlic bread and a variety of stuffed olives for tea, rather than the usual fish & chips out of newspaper. Before catching the train back into town we called in at the local CAMRA pub of the year where aside from a decent glass of real ale, we tried some Penderyn malt whisky and Merlyn whisky liqueur, both rather unique in the fact that they hail from Wales.
To finish the day, we returned to the Tap (our unofficial pub of the year - and longer for that matter) where we met up with more old friends and enjoyed several pints of excellent real ale until the last of us wandered out of the door around 11:30pm.
Today by complete contrast I've done bugger all other than catch up on some sleep, watch the usual repeats on ABC1 and tuck into a few rounds of eggy bread for tea.
Overall an excellent weekend, offering something a little different from the norm and somehow, I managed to spend considerably less than normal...
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Raising the steaks...
After another fun-packed 12 hour day playing at earning a living, I arrived home this evening uninspired to create anything too adventurous in the kitchen and too mean to pay out for fast food. I also discovered to my delight that it is almost a month since my last grocery shop and the easiest thing to rustle up for supper was steak, egg & chips.
If it makes it sound any healthier, I did the steak on the trusty George Foreman lean mean grilling machine, the chips were of the "Healthy Living Low Fat Oven" variety and if I'm really clutching at straws, the eggs were only fried in a little oil. Who cares anyway, the important thing was that I had amassed a good plate full in next to no time. Enough time to get me thinking though. Uh-oh...
I like to eat my steak somewhere between medium rare and rare and I've just about got the knack of how much defrosting & grilling is required to get it just how I like it. After the first check this evening, I decided it was a little too rare, or rather "not quite well enough done", or perhaps rather than "more well done", it should be "done better".
Oh dear. A few spare minutes and a drained mind are not a good combination. It didn't stop there either. Where the does the term "rare" come from anyway? Surely, the less you cook an 8oz steak, the less it shrinks, or rather, the more of it remains which means if there is more of it, then it is less rare than a well done steak would be.
That's the problem with weekdays - I don't get the opportunity to fill my mind with important issues such as "who's round is it?" or "is that a new brewery?" or "I wonder what that one tastes like"...
If it makes it sound any healthier, I did the steak on the trusty George Foreman lean mean grilling machine, the chips were of the "Healthy Living Low Fat Oven" variety and if I'm really clutching at straws, the eggs were only fried in a little oil. Who cares anyway, the important thing was that I had amassed a good plate full in next to no time. Enough time to get me thinking though. Uh-oh...
I like to eat my steak somewhere between medium rare and rare and I've just about got the knack of how much defrosting & grilling is required to get it just how I like it. After the first check this evening, I decided it was a little too rare, or rather "not quite well enough done", or perhaps rather than "more well done", it should be "done better".
Oh dear. A few spare minutes and a drained mind are not a good combination. It didn't stop there either. Where the does the term "rare" come from anyway? Surely, the less you cook an 8oz steak, the less it shrinks, or rather, the more of it remains which means if there is more of it, then it is less rare than a well done steak would be.
That's the problem with weekdays - I don't get the opportunity to fill my mind with important issues such as "who's round is it?" or "is that a new brewery?" or "I wonder what that one tastes like"...
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Cheeky bunch of *bleep*...
Today I've become a victim of censorship and quite frankly, I find it quite offensive. It's always been a topic close to my heart (if you don't want to read it, hear it, see it then you've been warned so don't buy the book, play the CD, watch the film) but today Big Brother finally got to me and by that I don't mean I'm about to start sharing my house with a bunch of attention hungry weirdos.
One of my good friends and regular readers returned to work today and when trying to read my blog was faced with this:
(Click on image to enlarge)
I've obviously removed any details that would disclose their identity but I still can't believe my eyes!
My initial shock was to be deemed "unsuitable" when I go to great lengths to keep the language and tone to a reasonable level during my occasional rants. Don't get me wrong, I'll band about 4-letter obscenities with the best of them but there are already so many sites out there already providing that sort of entertainment (check at least 2 of those listed to your left) that I think it better to leave the experts to it.
Closer inspection reveals that it isn't just me that's being singled out, but all of us cyber-folk who use blogger (blogspot) are nicely bundled together as "Kids Time Wasting".
Now I appreciate that I am never likely to win any literary awards but I thought their generalisation was a little harsh to say the least. Perhaps a greater waste of time (and money) is when companies employ these people to play demi-gods and set ridiculous restrictions on the subject matter that their employees choose to read on the net...
One of my good friends and regular readers returned to work today and when trying to read my blog was faced with this:
(Click on image to enlarge)
I've obviously removed any details that would disclose their identity but I still can't believe my eyes!
My initial shock was to be deemed "unsuitable" when I go to great lengths to keep the language and tone to a reasonable level during my occasional rants. Don't get me wrong, I'll band about 4-letter obscenities with the best of them but there are already so many sites out there already providing that sort of entertainment (check at least 2 of those listed to your left) that I think it better to leave the experts to it.
Closer inspection reveals that it isn't just me that's being singled out, but all of us cyber-folk who use blogger (blogspot) are nicely bundled together as "Kids Time Wasting".
Now I appreciate that I am never likely to win any literary awards but I thought their generalisation was a little harsh to say the least. Perhaps a greater waste of time (and money) is when companies employ these people to play demi-gods and set ridiculous restrictions on the subject matter that their employees choose to read on the net...
Sunday, April 23, 2006
By George...
Happy St. George's Day!
You did know it was today? The celebration of our patron saint? I appreciate that there has been no mention of it on the news, no parades organised, no red and white flags festooned from every building but surely you knew anyway? I guess it's just our way of being typically English and not wanting to make a fuss.
On the subject of things English, I was reading The English Guy's blog today which led me to an appalling story about National Lottery funding. For those who don't want to follow the link, Manchester United have been given a £30,000 lottery grant to fund exercise classes for their staff. I assume by "staff" we're not talking about the grossly overpaid primadonnas themselves, but all the same it's still a bloody disgrace.
I remember reading something about a year ago saying that they don't provide funding for organisations like RNLI or the Samaritans either because they can't guarantee that it will benefit disadvantaged people. Sorry, but if someone is on the brink of drowning or suicide then I'd say that's pretty damned disadvantaged.
Here's a thought for you: the first National Lottery was drawn 19th November 1994 which was a little over 596 weeks ago. I have played at least a single line every Saturday since it started and for most of the time have also been involved in a syndicate at work aswell. That means I've spent at least £1192 of which I doubt I've had a tenth back in prize money. I think it would make more sense to contribute to worthwhile causes directly and accept the fact that I'll probably never be a millionaire...
You did know it was today? The celebration of our patron saint? I appreciate that there has been no mention of it on the news, no parades organised, no red and white flags festooned from every building but surely you knew anyway? I guess it's just our way of being typically English and not wanting to make a fuss.
On the subject of things English, I was reading The English Guy's blog today which led me to an appalling story about National Lottery funding. For those who don't want to follow the link, Manchester United have been given a £30,000 lottery grant to fund exercise classes for their staff. I assume by "staff" we're not talking about the grossly overpaid primadonnas themselves, but all the same it's still a bloody disgrace.
I remember reading something about a year ago saying that they don't provide funding for organisations like RNLI or the Samaritans either because they can't guarantee that it will benefit disadvantaged people. Sorry, but if someone is on the brink of drowning or suicide then I'd say that's pretty damned disadvantaged.
Here's a thought for you: the first National Lottery was drawn 19th November 1994 which was a little over 596 weeks ago. I have played at least a single line every Saturday since it started and for most of the time have also been involved in a syndicate at work aswell. That means I've spent at least £1192 of which I doubt I've had a tenth back in prize money. I think it would make more sense to contribute to worthwhile causes directly and accept the fact that I'll probably never be a millionaire...
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Read all about it...
I think it was Eddie Izzard who said in one of his shows "Some people like to tell everybody they're widely read. Well I can't - I don't read a lot of books, in fact you could say that I'm very thinly read". Same goes for me I'm afraid.
I recent spotted a new Library Thing feature on Cherrypie's blog and thought I might "borrow" the idea as a nice little addition to this one. It's a great site where you can create a virtual library of all of your books, have a nose around to see who reads the same sort of things as you do, share reviews with people and so on.
So this morning, I ventured into the dreaded box room again and decided to dig out all of my books and set up my own on-line library. I have to say I was horrified by the small quantity of books I found in the house and to my complete shame, there are several listed in the library that I have never got round to reading. More to the point there are certain books which I'm certain I didn't sell in my e-Bay madness a couple of years ago such as the "Hitchhikers" four part trilogy, The Lord of the Rings trilogy and various other collections of humorous anecdotes and poems.
As I see it, there is only one solution - I obviously haven't quite finished moving house after all...
I recent spotted a new Library Thing feature on Cherrypie's blog and thought I might "borrow" the idea as a nice little addition to this one. It's a great site where you can create a virtual library of all of your books, have a nose around to see who reads the same sort of things as you do, share reviews with people and so on.
So this morning, I ventured into the dreaded box room again and decided to dig out all of my books and set up my own on-line library. I have to say I was horrified by the small quantity of books I found in the house and to my complete shame, there are several listed in the library that I have never got round to reading. More to the point there are certain books which I'm certain I didn't sell in my e-Bay madness a couple of years ago such as the "Hitchhikers" four part trilogy, The Lord of the Rings trilogy and various other collections of humorous anecdotes and poems.
As I see it, there is only one solution - I obviously haven't quite finished moving house after all...
Friday, April 21, 2006
It had to happen...
I've been writing this blog for over 18 months and to date I'd managed quite happily to avoid being tagged. Well I've finally been caught and Cherrypie is the guilty party. I already have a link on here to a list of 30 things about me, but let's see if I can get through this without cheating.
The instructions are "First post your six random things about yourself, then you go to six other blogs and let them know they are tagged and to find the details on your blog."
1. As a child I wrote a letter to the BBC complaining that they took Top of the Pops to cover World Cup football. I'm still not much of a football fan but these days would prefer to watch that than the crap that seems to reside in the charts.
2. I was left in my pushchair on Southsea common as my mother turned and fled from an on-coming hovercraft.
3. I was also left in my pram outside Dingles department store when Mum actually lived out the sitcom sketch of getting home from the shops thinking "I'm sure I've forgotten something"
4. I didn't leave home until I was 27 - I suppose I should have got the hint from 2 & 3
5. I have a small birthmark that not many people know about and even fewer have seen
6. Despite my propensity for beer consumption, at home I've had a cupboard full of wines, spirits and beer since before Christmas - bring on barbie season!
So there you go. Fascinating eh? Many of my readers & commenters don't have blogs of their own (yet), but I'll pass the baton onto Declan, Richard, Woja, Jeremy, Phil and Little Sis...
The instructions are "First post your six random things about yourself, then you go to six other blogs and let them know they are tagged and to find the details on your blog."
1. As a child I wrote a letter to the BBC complaining that they took Top of the Pops to cover World Cup football. I'm still not much of a football fan but these days would prefer to watch that than the crap that seems to reside in the charts.
2. I was left in my pushchair on Southsea common as my mother turned and fled from an on-coming hovercraft.
3. I was also left in my pram outside Dingles department store when Mum actually lived out the sitcom sketch of getting home from the shops thinking "I'm sure I've forgotten something"
4. I didn't leave home until I was 27 - I suppose I should have got the hint from 2 & 3
5. I have a small birthmark that not many people know about and even fewer have seen
6. Despite my propensity for beer consumption, at home I've had a cupboard full of wines, spirits and beer since before Christmas - bring on barbie season!
So there you go. Fascinating eh? Many of my readers & commenters don't have blogs of their own (yet), but I'll pass the baton onto Declan, Richard, Woja, Jeremy, Phil and Little Sis...
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Hello Moto...
After yesterday's little game of "will they, won't they" I'm pleased to report that today I took delivery of mobile phone number six. Not that I run six mobile phones at once I hasten to add, but I finally decided to relegate my trusty old P800 to the back catalogue and venture into something new.
It's been a difficult phone to replace as it was full of plenty of gadgets and gizmos that set it well ahead of it's time when it was first introduced. In fact, it proved a most effective means of shaking off telesales calls as nobody was interested in upgrading it to a higher spec model for the same monthly contract rate. The time had come for a change though as it was starting to fail more frequently as it hobbled into it's senior years and quite frankly, I was getting fed up of the huge block in my pocket that raised my voice three octaves whenever I sat down.
So, ladies and gentlemen, I present the new kid in town, the Motorola RAZR V3x:
I've lost a couple of features that the last phone had, but this has some features that the last one didn't so on balance, I'm happy that it's a better and more appropriate phone for me.
Much of this afternoon has been spent wading through the contacts on the old phone, doing a bit of selective editing out of people I've not heard from for years, transferring the "survivors" to the new one and synchronising everything with my Outlook contacts on the laptop.
The next exciting task is to get in touch with all of these people and let them know the new number. Good job there's plenty of free texts included with the new contract...
It's been a difficult phone to replace as it was full of plenty of gadgets and gizmos that set it well ahead of it's time when it was first introduced. In fact, it proved a most effective means of shaking off telesales calls as nobody was interested in upgrading it to a higher spec model for the same monthly contract rate. The time had come for a change though as it was starting to fail more frequently as it hobbled into it's senior years and quite frankly, I was getting fed up of the huge block in my pocket that raised my voice three octaves whenever I sat down.
So, ladies and gentlemen, I present the new kid in town, the Motorola RAZR V3x:
I've lost a couple of features that the last phone had, but this has some features that the last one didn't so on balance, I'm happy that it's a better and more appropriate phone for me.
Much of this afternoon has been spent wading through the contacts on the old phone, doing a bit of selective editing out of people I've not heard from for years, transferring the "survivors" to the new one and synchronising everything with my Outlook contacts on the laptop.
The next exciting task is to get in touch with all of these people and let them know the new number. Good job there's plenty of free texts included with the new contract...
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Think of a number...
On a bored Sunday afternoon three years ago, I took an on-line IQ test on the BBC website as part of their Test the Nation campaign and surprised myself with a score of 140. I know that because I've just found the e-mail I sent to Little Sis inviting her to have a go.
Some of us were discussing IQ results in the pub over the weekend, (I seem to recall after accusing somebody of possibly achieving double figures) and I thought it was about time for an update.
So, in the early caffeine-induced-insomniac hours of this morning, I found this site and was horrified to see my score had dropped to 131. Where did my nine points go? Are the increasing number of grey hairs I'm spotting on my scalp replacing grey cells? Or was it just because it was so early in the day? Perhaps it's distorted by the fact that I can't re-enact the same test from the BBC. I had to find some more.
10:00am I completed this one but I've no idea how I've got on as they haven't bothered to reply.
Went outside & mowed the front lawn to see if fresh air and exercise would make a difference.
11:00am I completed this one with an even worse score of 129, based on my answering all questions, well within the allotted timescale and getting only 4 wrong. A bit harsh I think.
Now you would expect that by carrying on, the scores should improve as your mind gets used to the nature of questions answered. Well I can't leave the house as I'm waiting for a parcel, so let's give this one a go. Wow! 152, including two interruptions!
Only one place left to try - I've got to have a go at the MENSA workout seeing as you can't do the official test online. Well at 27 out of 30, apparently I have a high chance of passing the test, but as I'm not sure whether I can be bothered now.
In the meantime on the subject of numbers, the parcel I've been waiting in for is a new mobile phone which hasn't arrived in the post as stated on their internet tracking service. The chap on the "help" line told me it will arrive by courier tomorrow, but I've just received an e-mail from them saying it's not coming at all!
Luckily for me, a good friend of mine happens to run one of their high street stores but I thought I'd give their helpline another chance. Would you believe, it is coming some time tomorrow after all.
All of this mental strain has worn me down so I think I'll nip to the Tap and enjoy a nice pint. Something I know I can always count on...
Some of us were discussing IQ results in the pub over the weekend, (I seem to recall after accusing somebody of possibly achieving double figures) and I thought it was about time for an update.
So, in the early caffeine-induced-insomniac hours of this morning, I found this site and was horrified to see my score had dropped to 131. Where did my nine points go? Are the increasing number of grey hairs I'm spotting on my scalp replacing grey cells? Or was it just because it was so early in the day? Perhaps it's distorted by the fact that I can't re-enact the same test from the BBC. I had to find some more.
10:00am I completed this one but I've no idea how I've got on as they haven't bothered to reply.
Went outside & mowed the front lawn to see if fresh air and exercise would make a difference.
11:00am I completed this one with an even worse score of 129, based on my answering all questions, well within the allotted timescale and getting only 4 wrong. A bit harsh I think.
Now you would expect that by carrying on, the scores should improve as your mind gets used to the nature of questions answered. Well I can't leave the house as I'm waiting for a parcel, so let's give this one a go. Wow! 152, including two interruptions!
Only one place left to try - I've got to have a go at the MENSA workout seeing as you can't do the official test online. Well at 27 out of 30, apparently I have a high chance of passing the test, but as I'm not sure whether I can be bothered now.
In the meantime on the subject of numbers, the parcel I've been waiting in for is a new mobile phone which hasn't arrived in the post as stated on their internet tracking service. The chap on the "help" line told me it will arrive by courier tomorrow, but I've just received an e-mail from them saying it's not coming at all!
Luckily for me, a good friend of mine happens to run one of their high street stores but I thought I'd give their helpline another chance. Would you believe, it is coming some time tomorrow after all.
All of this mental strain has worn me down so I think I'll nip to the Tap and enjoy a nice pint. Something I know I can always count on...
Monday, April 17, 2006
Home at last...
After only four months and 20 days, I finally finished moving out of Mum & Dad's place and into the bungalow today.
Strictly speaking, I still have to pick up some shelving units for the garage but I'm leaving that until the last possible moment due to the domino effect of jobs that will appear on the "to do" list once I get the garage organised.
Looking around at today's load, I'm not entirely sure why I didn't just stop off at the tip first:
~ My fishing rod - bought around 30 years ago and probably not been near water for the last 29
~ My Nodor bristle dartboard - in need of a clean but otherwise in good condition.Oh, and in need of my darts wherever they are.
~ My crash helmet - although I haven't owned a motorbike for over 20 years
~ Several boxes full of household cleaning products courtesy of several years worth of shop sales at work
~ Two armfuls of clothes that are far too old or small to see the light of day on me any more.
Quite honestly, the way the bread machine is churning out baked goods right now, the "too small" criteria above is looking highly unlikely to change either...
Strictly speaking, I still have to pick up some shelving units for the garage but I'm leaving that until the last possible moment due to the domino effect of jobs that will appear on the "to do" list once I get the garage organised.
Looking around at today's load, I'm not entirely sure why I didn't just stop off at the tip first:
~ My fishing rod - bought around 30 years ago and probably not been near water for the last 29
~ My Nodor bristle dartboard - in need of a clean but otherwise in good condition.Oh, and in need of my darts wherever they are.
~ My crash helmet - although I haven't owned a motorbike for over 20 years
~ Several boxes full of household cleaning products courtesy of several years worth of shop sales at work
~ Two armfuls of clothes that are far too old or small to see the light of day on me any more.
Quite honestly, the way the bread machine is churning out baked goods right now, the "too small" criteria above is looking highly unlikely to change either...
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Good intentions...
Today was supposed to be my busy day; time to work my way through the list of outstanding chores and catch up on the inevitable sleep required after a day on the beer yesterday.
However, despite the quantity of alcohol consumed yesterday I was up with the larks this morning and had managed to get out to the local Tesco and back before 7:30.
By 12:30, I'd just about cleared the list. Laundry done, house hoovered, hot cross buns made, spicy fruit loaf whirring round the bread machine as I write, bought some garden furniture, renewed my car insurance and the conditions outside are still too wet to consider mowing the lawn of trimming the hedges.
I thought I'd take a bit of time out to catch up on the blogs, but on the first one I've read I see that Delcatto is out for a few beers this afternoon so I may have to re-evaluate my plans...
However, despite the quantity of alcohol consumed yesterday I was up with the larks this morning and had managed to get out to the local Tesco and back before 7:30.
By 12:30, I'd just about cleared the list. Laundry done, house hoovered, hot cross buns made, spicy fruit loaf whirring round the bread machine as I write, bought some garden furniture, renewed my car insurance and the conditions outside are still too wet to consider mowing the lawn of trimming the hedges.
I thought I'd take a bit of time out to catch up on the blogs, but on the first one I've read I see that Delcatto is out for a few beers this afternoon so I may have to re-evaluate my plans...
Friday, April 14, 2006
Happy Easter...
My Easter post last year was a collection of links to a number of pictures, some more appropriate than others, but all meant to be entertaining on some level or other. That same post linked to a picture of some bunny girls and to this day, the Google Image search for "bunnies" remains the top reason people arrive here from search engines.
They must be very disappointed and not to mention persistent - I looked for it today and even with safe search off, I couldn't find it amongst 40 pages.
Anyway, here's this year's cute bunny picture discovered on my travels around the web this morning
As a more typical gesture from me, I ask you all again to check out the bunnies on the Angry Alien website. Jennifer Shiman has created a load of animated film parodies, 20 at the last count, each re-enacted in 30 seconds by bunnies and all both very clever and very funny. I've linked to them from this blog pretty much since day one, but another shameless plug won't go amiss. I should also thank Wayne who told me about them in the first place.
So take a look, have a laugh and have a very Happy Easter...
They must be very disappointed and not to mention persistent - I looked for it today and even with safe search off, I couldn't find it amongst 40 pages.
Anyway, here's this year's cute bunny picture discovered on my travels around the web this morning
As a more typical gesture from me, I ask you all again to check out the bunnies on the Angry Alien website. Jennifer Shiman has created a load of animated film parodies, 20 at the last count, each re-enacted in 30 seconds by bunnies and all both very clever and very funny. I've linked to them from this blog pretty much since day one, but another shameless plug won't go amiss. I should also thank Wayne who told me about them in the first place.
So take a look, have a laugh and have a very Happy Easter...
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Today's witterings...
Just a couple of things that happened today that aren't worthy of a full blown rant but were irritating all the same.
A couple of weeks before I was due to move into the bungalow, I signed up for a deal for my phone, tv and broadband which at the time I considered quite reasonable. I ignored the fact that just after Christmas they reduced the package price to "new" customers (which clearly didn't include me by this time) and I let that go.
I accept that it's my own fault for not scrutinising my bill more closely before, but I spotted tonight that they've been charging me extra each month for a "Non DD Handling Charge" despite the fact that I have paid by direct debit since day one. I highlighted their error with a quick call this evening, (or rather a quick conversation after 15 minutes alledgedly on hold listening to their adverts) and they agreed to credit my account for the 5 months worth of charges. Except they couldn't adjust this month's payment as it has already been taken - 7 days before it was due. What the hell, we're only talking about a tenner and at least I am going to get it back.
In a completely unrelated incident, I was sat this evening enjoying a caffeine & fresh bread free supper and I thought I'd catch up with some local news seeing as I was home in time to watch it for a change. I've posted before about the diminishing quality of news reporting on the BBC and I'm afraid it doesn't appear to be showing signs of any improvement.
Our local media "hero" often struggles along quite embarassingly and often fails to recognise the difference between Paxman-esque direct questioning and just being downright rude. On a good day, he can very nearly win a battle of wits with the 7 year old child he's interviewing in such a patronising manner. However, this evening's poll result displayed a complete new depth of poor quality journalism. The question was whether the merger of regional police forces was likely to improve their performance. Apparently,
"26% thought yes, 74% thought no and rather surprisingly, nobody said they were not interested"
Fancy that, not one of the local viewers was so lacking in interest that they felt compelled to pick up the phone to formally register their complete apathy...
A couple of weeks before I was due to move into the bungalow, I signed up for a deal for my phone, tv and broadband which at the time I considered quite reasonable. I ignored the fact that just after Christmas they reduced the package price to "new" customers (which clearly didn't include me by this time) and I let that go.
I accept that it's my own fault for not scrutinising my bill more closely before, but I spotted tonight that they've been charging me extra each month for a "Non DD Handling Charge" despite the fact that I have paid by direct debit since day one. I highlighted their error with a quick call this evening, (or rather a quick conversation after 15 minutes alledgedly on hold listening to their adverts) and they agreed to credit my account for the 5 months worth of charges. Except they couldn't adjust this month's payment as it has already been taken - 7 days before it was due. What the hell, we're only talking about a tenner and at least I am going to get it back.
In a completely unrelated incident, I was sat this evening enjoying a caffeine & fresh bread free supper and I thought I'd catch up with some local news seeing as I was home in time to watch it for a change. I've posted before about the diminishing quality of news reporting on the BBC and I'm afraid it doesn't appear to be showing signs of any improvement.
Our local media "hero" often struggles along quite embarassingly and often fails to recognise the difference between Paxman-esque direct questioning and just being downright rude. On a good day, he can very nearly win a battle of wits with the 7 year old child he's interviewing in such a patronising manner. However, this evening's poll result displayed a complete new depth of poor quality journalism. The question was whether the merger of regional police forces was likely to improve their performance. Apparently,
"26% thought yes, 74% thought no and rather surprisingly, nobody said they were not interested"
Fancy that, not one of the local viewers was so lacking in interest that they felt compelled to pick up the phone to formally register their complete apathy...
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
What have I started...
I was convinced that yesterdays post brought the church bingo card up to date, assuming of course that I skip the suggestion from Cherrypie to take an overly scenic route home to find some more. (Although one of the churches mentioned is pictured in the original post.)
Anyway, driving home tonight, the same way as I've travelled for the best part of 10 years, I glanced across to look at the looming black cloud (even blacker than the one that usually shadows the town), when I spotted this on the horizon:
Now I always thought they took years to build, but I'm starting to believe that somebody somewhere is having a laugh at my expense...
Anyway, driving home tonight, the same way as I've travelled for the best part of 10 years, I glanced across to look at the looming black cloud (even blacker than the one that usually shadows the town), when I spotted this on the horizon:
Now I always thought they took years to build, but I'm starting to believe that somebody somewhere is having a laugh at my expense...
Monday, April 10, 2006
Bingo update...
Believe it or not, I have actually been working on the Church Bingo post for quite a while. Although it originally started with casual observations from the car, I ended up tracing my route to work on the map, identifying the church towers, collecting photos and reducing them to appropriate thumbnail size.
As if that wasn't sad enough, I even double checked the map to see if there were any more likely candidates within viewing range and when I was confident that my collection was complete, I published the post.
Lo and behold, on my Billy-Whizz return journey home along the M180 this evening, I spotted this one:
It can only be seen on the way home and I suspect, only on a particularly clear day and I began to wonder whether there is some deeply theological or spiritual lesson to be taken from this exercise.
Or perhaps I'm simply not as observant or skilled at bingo as I thought I was...
As if that wasn't sad enough, I even double checked the map to see if there were any more likely candidates within viewing range and when I was confident that my collection was complete, I published the post.
Lo and behold, on my Billy-Whizz return journey home along the M180 this evening, I spotted this one:
It can only be seen on the way home and I suspect, only on a particularly clear day and I began to wonder whether there is some deeply theological or spiritual lesson to be taken from this exercise.
Or perhaps I'm simply not as observant or skilled at bingo as I thought I was...
Man can not live by bread alone...
Not even with lots of fresh coffee.
I suspect that had I still been a little boy at home and yesterdays gadgets had been presents they would have been put away "until you learn how to play with them properly".
Rather like a spoilt child, I have consumed more fresh coffee and bread in the last 24 hours than I have for some considerable time. What's more, I've discovered this evening that apparently, the two packs of ground coffee I bought are meant to be consumed within two weeks of opening and I still have 99 breadmaker recipes to go at, so perhaps it's as well that I finish work for ten days on Thursday evening. Although I suspect that even by then I'll be too fat to move and too wired to sleep...
I suspect that had I still been a little boy at home and yesterdays gadgets had been presents they would have been put away "until you learn how to play with them properly".
Rather like a spoilt child, I have consumed more fresh coffee and bread in the last 24 hours than I have for some considerable time. What's more, I've discovered this evening that apparently, the two packs of ground coffee I bought are meant to be consumed within two weeks of opening and I still have 99 breadmaker recipes to go at, so perhaps it's as well that I finish work for ten days on Thursday evening. Although I suspect that even by then I'll be too fat to move and too wired to sleep...
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Flour Power...
Following yesterday's disastrous foray into the art of baking, I was determined not to give up without a fight. Casting aside all memories of my very moist (i.e. soggy) choc-mint sponge, I thought I'd try something even more ambitious and attempt a loaf of bread. After all, if it's harder to bake bread than cake (so I'm told) then I will have compensated for yesterday's mis-hap and the weekend will have been an overall success.
However, just to stack the odds a little more in my favour, I went out this afternoon to treat myself to one of these:
Cheating? Maybe, but if the blurb is to be believed then it is the equivalent of a magic box. You just throw all of the ingredients in, hit the button, leave it for a few hours and hey presto, one loaf of bread. Or a cake. Or pizza dough. Or a multitude of other delights for that matter.
While I was catching up on things I've been meaning to buy, I also picked up one of these today:
You can imagine the wonderful aroma around the house all afternoon.
So while the bread was baking, I've been experimenting with espressos, lattes, cappuccinos and regular filter coffee. How did my loaf of bread turn out? Excellent - take a look here. Which is just as well as I'll probably eating it for the next 72 hours wondering why I can't get to sleep...
Update: 8:25pm
Oh dear, it looks like I could be in trouble here. It's finally cooled enough to slice and it was all could do to not devour it all in one go. I knew I should have started with a bigger loaf...
However, just to stack the odds a little more in my favour, I went out this afternoon to treat myself to one of these:
Cheating? Maybe, but if the blurb is to be believed then it is the equivalent of a magic box. You just throw all of the ingredients in, hit the button, leave it for a few hours and hey presto, one loaf of bread. Or a cake. Or pizza dough. Or a multitude of other delights for that matter.
While I was catching up on things I've been meaning to buy, I also picked up one of these today:
You can imagine the wonderful aroma around the house all afternoon.
So while the bread was baking, I've been experimenting with espressos, lattes, cappuccinos and regular filter coffee. How did my loaf of bread turn out? Excellent - take a look here. Which is just as well as I'll probably eating it for the next 72 hours wondering why I can't get to sleep...
Update: 8:25pm
Oh dear, it looks like I could be in trouble here. It's finally cooled enough to slice and it was all could do to not devour it all in one go. I knew I should have started with a bigger loaf...
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Let them eat cake...
Hot on the heels of some of my recent culinary successes, it occurred to me last week that I ought to have a go at baking a cake. I seem to recall making Ginger Parkin from a packet mix many years ago, but that doesn't really count.
Having unexpectedly found myself at home tonight, I consulted a few websites and armed with laptop, I went forth into the kitchen and set to with making a chocolate mint sponge (one of my personal favourites).
It's fairly safe to say it didn't quite go to plan and I would have taken a photo to share the unveiling with you all except I couldn't hold the camera steady for laughing...
Having unexpectedly found myself at home tonight, I consulted a few websites and armed with laptop, I went forth into the kitchen and set to with making a chocolate mint sponge (one of my personal favourites).
It's fairly safe to say it didn't quite go to plan and I would have taken a photo to share the unveiling with you all except I couldn't hold the camera steady for laughing...
House...
I have a confession - over the last couple of years I've developed an obsession with church bingo. I don't mean that I have an urge to disappear down to the village hall every Thursday evening, but rather it's a way I've found of passing the time during my daily commute.
There are actually 11 churches that can be seen on my route into work
Aside from mentally checking them all off as I drive past them each morning, I've since found out which towns or villages they are in and the names of them all. In fact, if I take an alternative route home, there are another five
(Thanks to Paul Fenwick who is responsible for the original versions of most of the above photos)
In fact, with all of this gazing around, I suppose it's a wonder I've never driven into anybody...
There are actually 11 churches that can be seen on my route into work
Aside from mentally checking them all off as I drive past them each morning, I've since found out which towns or villages they are in and the names of them all. In fact, if I take an alternative route home, there are another five
(Thanks to Paul Fenwick who is responsible for the original versions of most of the above photos)
In fact, with all of this gazing around, I suppose it's a wonder I've never driven into anybody...
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Fish tales...
I tried sushi for the first time this evening.
Nigiri sushi to be exact.
Caringly prepared and pre-packed in the sandwich cabinet at Tesco.
(Well, probably not prepared in the sandwich cabinet)
Caringly consumed by me with chopsticks
(Well, I didn't eat the chopsticks).
Very tasty.
Very fishy.
Very likely I will eat it again.
Very unlikely any of this will make the news tonight...
Nigiri sushi to be exact.
Caringly prepared and pre-packed in the sandwich cabinet at Tesco.
(Well, probably not prepared in the sandwich cabinet)
Caringly consumed by me with chopsticks
(Well, I didn't eat the chopsticks).
Very tasty.
Very fishy.
Very likely I will eat it again.
Very unlikely any of this will make the news tonight...
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Things on my mind...
I found out this morning that following the recent video interview at work, they've given the job to the other guy and why not - he's a decent kind of bloke who'll give it a good go. The problem I have is that despite people's kind comments today, I'm genuinely not that bothered but it's difficult to portray that without it sounding like sour grapes.
Yes, the interview was a shambles (not on my part I hasten to add), there was no extra money involved and more to the point, I got the impression today that they don't actually want him to do the job as advertised. No matter how I try, if I tell anyone that, it's going to sound as though I'm bitter despite the fact that I've still got a good job that I enjoy (most of the time), with great prospects.
Secondly, on a more serious note, after a long day I took a leisurely drive home this evening along the newly refurbished (and still incomplete) section of the M180 where I spotted a sign at the side of the road saying "Sign not in use". So that got me wondering how anyone is supposed to find out...
Yes, the interview was a shambles (not on my part I hasten to add), there was no extra money involved and more to the point, I got the impression today that they don't actually want him to do the job as advertised. No matter how I try, if I tell anyone that, it's going to sound as though I'm bitter despite the fact that I've still got a good job that I enjoy (most of the time), with great prospects.
Secondly, on a more serious note, after a long day I took a leisurely drive home this evening along the newly refurbished (and still incomplete) section of the M180 where I spotted a sign at the side of the road saying "Sign not in use". So that got me wondering how anyone is supposed to find out...
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
AVin' a larf...
They say the devil makes work for idle hands to do and this morning was my opportunity to put it to the test.
Today is water meter installation day, which as described in an earlier post, entails my having to take an entire day off work as they can't guarantee to be finished (or even here) in time for me to get to work for the afternoon. So what to do?
Firstly, because I knew I didn't have work today, it meant I could be a bit more relaxed at Lisa's leaving party last night. She leaves today to start a new life in Spain so it seemed only fitting that she got a really good send off. To put things in perspective, even I was found doing the timewarp, the conga, the Saturday Night Fever thing and some poorly timed random movements to Wham. Not bad for a bloke who "doesn't do dancing". Just in case you do get chance to look in Lisa, good luck and thanks again for a great night out.
Today's first task was to take full advantage of my last helping of un-metered water supply. I got up as though it was a normal morning, shaved, showered, made a cuppa, ate breakfast, washed up, cleaned my teeth, all before 7:30 am. There was no way they would arrive before 8:00 so I put a load of washing on aswell, but aside from topping the kettle up, that was about as far as my abuse of water consumption went bearing in mind it was far too cold to risk an expedition into the garden or wash the car.
I still had to find something to occupy a few hours without leaving the house and top of the list was to sort out the DVD recorder I bought before Christmas. Basically, I went out to buy a cheap DVD player to play films for the family while they were staying over at Christmas and ended up spending considerably more on a DVD recorder with hard drive. It played DVDs just fine, but I could never seem to tune it into the TV channels, which is kind of critical if you're wanting to record something. So today, after having wrestled with more SCART leads than you can poke a stick at, spent several minutes in complete panic when I thought I'd completely screwed up my new TV, I found to my subsequent amusement that all this time I only needed to press the AV button a couple of times on the remote.
Now I've actually ventured into the instruction manuals, I've discovered it does loads of things I didn't even realise. Why didn't I think of studying them before? Probably for the same reason as we never stop the car and ask for directions...
Today is water meter installation day, which as described in an earlier post, entails my having to take an entire day off work as they can't guarantee to be finished (or even here) in time for me to get to work for the afternoon. So what to do?
Firstly, because I knew I didn't have work today, it meant I could be a bit more relaxed at Lisa's leaving party last night. She leaves today to start a new life in Spain so it seemed only fitting that she got a really good send off. To put things in perspective, even I was found doing the timewarp, the conga, the Saturday Night Fever thing and some poorly timed random movements to Wham. Not bad for a bloke who "doesn't do dancing". Just in case you do get chance to look in Lisa, good luck and thanks again for a great night out.
Today's first task was to take full advantage of my last helping of un-metered water supply. I got up as though it was a normal morning, shaved, showered, made a cuppa, ate breakfast, washed up, cleaned my teeth, all before 7:30 am. There was no way they would arrive before 8:00 so I put a load of washing on aswell, but aside from topping the kettle up, that was about as far as my abuse of water consumption went bearing in mind it was far too cold to risk an expedition into the garden or wash the car.
I still had to find something to occupy a few hours without leaving the house and top of the list was to sort out the DVD recorder I bought before Christmas. Basically, I went out to buy a cheap DVD player to play films for the family while they were staying over at Christmas and ended up spending considerably more on a DVD recorder with hard drive. It played DVDs just fine, but I could never seem to tune it into the TV channels, which is kind of critical if you're wanting to record something. So today, after having wrestled with more SCART leads than you can poke a stick at, spent several minutes in complete panic when I thought I'd completely screwed up my new TV, I found to my subsequent amusement that all this time I only needed to press the AV button a couple of times on the remote.
Now I've actually ventured into the instruction manuals, I've discovered it does loads of things I didn't even realise. Why didn't I think of studying them before? Probably for the same reason as we never stop the car and ask for directions...
Sunday, April 02, 2006
What goes around...
We had a great night last night at a surprise party for Rich to celebrate his turning 40 last week - hello mate if you're looking in! After months of preparation by Annita, everything appeared to go according to plan and he had absolutely no idea that a myriad of faces from past and present were waiting to celebrate with him.
I'm fairly certain that a mutual friend of mine and Rich, a Mr Pete Frenzy (currently residing in the US of A under the shadow of an enormous stainless steel arch) also passes the same milestone during April. I really ought to know the actual date, although we've only known each other for 23 years - sorry Pete!
The end of this month sees my old schoolmate Rob turn 40 and we'll be reviving an old tradition of celebrating his birthday with a session at the Cleethorpes beer festival - the first time for too many years.
So I have to wonder that as 2006 goes on and more of my old school and college mates turn the big four-oh, whether they'll find it as funny as it seemed to them all in January...
I'm fairly certain that a mutual friend of mine and Rich, a Mr Pete Frenzy (currently residing in the US of A under the shadow of an enormous stainless steel arch) also passes the same milestone during April. I really ought to know the actual date, although we've only known each other for 23 years - sorry Pete!
The end of this month sees my old schoolmate Rob turn 40 and we'll be reviving an old tradition of celebrating his birthday with a session at the Cleethorpes beer festival - the first time for too many years.
So I have to wonder that as 2006 goes on and more of my old school and college mates turn the big four-oh, whether they'll find it as funny as it seemed to them all in January...
Balls to the Beatles...
I stumbled across this video a few days ago, but I've only just managed to find it in a format to share on here. It's a guy called Chris Bliss who's juggling in time to the Golden Slumbers medley by the Beatles. Sounds lame? Take a look - it's actually very impressive.
Sorry about the title Em, you know I love the Beatles really but it was too good an opportunity to miss...
Sorry about the title Em, you know I love the Beatles really but it was too good an opportunity to miss...
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