More House Buying Fun...

The ear is almost fully functional again, but I'm not hearing much about this house purchase lark yet.

You know sometimes when you're on a train, it stops at a station, you look out of the window and it feels as if you're still moving really, really slowly? Well that's how quickly things seem to have progressed over the last couple of weeks.

There's plenty of phone calls going on:

(Estate Agent) Have you any more news since your offer was accepted [almost an hour ago]?

(Mortgage Advisor) I've got your mortgage application form here if you can bring me two kinds of ID

(Estate Agent) Have you heard any further news yet?

(Mortgage Advisor) The surveyor has been in touch with the vendor and should be round in the next few days. You should have their report within a week.

(Me to Estate Agent)The survey results should be back within the next few days.
(Estate Agent) OK have you any other news?

(Solicitor) We've received an e-mail asking us to act on your behalf. Please confirm in writing.
(E-mail to Solicitor) Yes that is correct - please accept this as authority to proceed
(Solicitor) OK - please call into the office with two types of ID when next convenient

(Estate Agent) Have you heard anything more yet?

Why couldn't we just set up a meeting with all parties concerned? They could all meet me in person, I could show them my passport, driving license, bank statements, payslips, blood group, note from my Mum excusing me from PE, etc. and establish my identity once and for all. I'm fast reaching the point where I'm unsure of it myself.

And I know it's still very early days but I can't figure out what the hell estate agents do exactly. They were no more help to me in selling my last property than they are in buying this one.

Agreed they take some lovely photos and describe properties in their own unique language:
Compact & bijoux = formerly rented out as a broom cupboard
Well located for transport network = next to a railway line/motorway/airport
Situated in a well established residential area = your worst nightmare of a housing estate
Well placed for local amenities - complete strangers parking outside your property 24 hours a day
Ideal for first time buyer/investor - expect to spend twice the asking price before actually living in it

They certainly have a gift for making perpetual phone calls chasing me for information that I've agreed to pass on as soon as I get it. I am now only a short step away from "When I have something to tell you I will ring you. In the meantime will you please just f*** off".

As I said in an earlier posting what could be simpler? This chap wants to sell his house and I want to buy it. It has been surveyed very recently on behalf of a buyer who had to withdraw from the sale for personal reasons. Apparently that doesn't count any more. I have found somebody foolish enough to lend me enough money to buy it, so what's the problem?

I can almost see it in the news already. I'll have just signed up to a 5 year fixed rate mortgage and the headlines will read "Interest rates slashed to a new all-time low"...