Lux like he's ranting again...

I'm sorry, but it gets me rattled around this time every year and with the clocks going back at the weekend, it's going to be a while before it gets any better. How can there possibly be so many people out there who don't know how to use their lights when driving at night?

I have the dubious pleasure of travelling around 70 miles a day, most of it in partial darkness already and despite it being a mixture of motorway, dual carriageway and winding country lanes, both lit and unlit, I almost never need to switch my headlights from dipped to main beam. Even when weather conditions dictate otherwise, I'm blessed with the common sense to know that as soon as anyone's rear lights come into view ahead of me, or I can see the oncoming glow of headlights from the opposite direction, it's time to dip them again.

As I wear glasses, I'm hardly gifted with bionic vision or super heroic talents to see through buildings or around corners, but I am blessed with a sense of common decency for the people I have to share the roads with. Unlike the countless number of thoughtless twats I seem to encounter most days.

So on the off chance that even one of these brain donors may be Googling for advice on the subject, I thought I'd leave a few random suggestions to attract the search engines:

"When should I dip my headlights"
"How do the lights work on my car"
"Can I drive with my lights on full beam all of the time?"
"Does it matter as long as I can see where I am going?"
"Help! I have more points on my license than brain cells"
"Dear Noel, I want to swap my sports car for a space hopper"
"Mummy, it's dark out there. Can you leave the big light on?"

OK, I doubt it's contributed much to road safety but at least I've got the matter off my chest for another year...

Sign of the times...

First the serious bit:

I received an e-mail this evening from Richard, one of my fellow Tap regulars that contained the following:

The world-famous Red Arrows have been banned from appearing at the 2012 London Olympics because they are deemed "too British". Organisers of the event say that the Arrows military background might be "offensive" to other countries taking part in the Games. The display team have performed at more than 4000 events worldwide, but the Department of Culture, Media and Sport have deemed the display team "too militaristically British".

Red Arrows pilots were said to be "outraged", as they had hoped to put on a truly world class display for the Games, something which had never been seen before. Being axed from a British-based event for being "too British" is an insult - the Arrows are a symbol of Britain.

The Red Arrows have been excellent ambassadors for British overseas trade, as they display their British-built Hawk aircraft all over the world.

The Arrows performed a short flypast in 2005 when the winning bid was announced, but their flypast at the Games was to have been truly spectacular.

It is to be hoped that common sense prevails

If you disagree with this decision, sign the petition on the link
http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/RedArrows2012/?ref=redArrows2012

There is already a reply on there stating that the decision is out of the PM's hands, but it's probably worth adding your name just to labour the point (no pun intended)


Now for the silly bit:

Have a look at some of the [inevitable] rejected petitions on the same site - it's the best laugh I've had for ages. One of my favourites was to make August 1st David Hasselhoff Day. I'd have been up for it - we could all go out, get pissed up, then stagger home and spill supper all over the carpet. In fact we could have one every Friday...

Ahead of my time...

Thankfully, it doesn't happen often but I really fancied a cigarette as I left the office tonight. I was imagining myself tearing out of the car park, just so that I could spark up the minute I was officially off site. The clearly ridiculous idea passed as quickly as it had popped into my head, but it shows that you always need to be on your guard and you should certainly never be tempted to carry any with you "just in case".

That said, the news this morning reported that obesity is more likely to kill you than smoking related diseases; a little unfair I thought considering I put most of my weight on after I'd stopped smoking. Although admittedly I've made little effort to try and lose much since either.

Anyway back to this mornings report, failure to take drastic action now will result in the majority of us being obese by 2050. Even in my genuinely lean days I've always exceeded my apparently recommended weight and I doubt that when I'm 85 they will have re-stacked the stats any more to my liking...

Full of surprises...

Not much of a surprise that it's been nearly a week since my last post, but there have been plenty in the meantime:

Friday night was traditional tea in the Tap, which was excellent as usual but I surprisingly had the sense to leave early as there was a long day to follow pending Dom's arrival from Middlesborough the next morning.

Saturday? Well I guess we expected a decent result against Estonia at football and our victory over the French in the rugby was well received, although the latter was somewhat of a surprise given my initial expectations. And although I should know better, I was surprised we managed to see the rugby match in the pub at all given our early start and mid-evening flit across town.

Sunday was someone elses turn as we went to a surprise party for John Boy's 50th birthday. Another great night and fine excuse for much quaffing of ale by all, despite my early departure - quite a surprise there given the Hobgoblin was on sale a reduced price for the night.

I'd already booked a days holiday for recovery purposes yesterday which, to my surprise, was completely unnecessary but I took advantage of the day by getting ahead of the weeks chores about the house. I also sent an e-card to my most recently acquired wife which hopefully will have been a nice surprise for her birthday.

Today was back to work and back to normal, until a discussion with someone in the office late this afternoon indicated that in "reward" for my efforts on our main project this year, I could be spending some time working in Germany early in 2008. Well I certainly didn't see that one coming.

So, it fair to say that I'd be surprised if there were any more surprises tomorrow...

Missed opportunity...

I've frequently admitted on here that I'm far from any kind of authority on art, although there has been the odd once or twice when temptation got the better of me after reading about some ridiculous exhibit or escapade.

I was quite proud that I'd let the whole crack in the Tate Modern Turbine Hall floor pass without mention, until I heard on the news tonight that they've had to administer first aid to their first three casualties today. Personally, I would have recommended some "look where you're bleeding going" therapy.

All the same, I was disappointed the nobody took the golden opportunity to report that the incidents of people falling into the crack have been reported to the HSE and one of their officials is now looking into it...

As if nothing had happened...

We got home late Sunday night after a fantastic weekend away with the family.

Then I woke up yesterday morning to discover I'd brought home a cold as a souvenir and spent one of my last remaining days off work sniffling over the ironing and coughing and sneezing all over Tescos. I think I've said before that the man-flu thing doesn't really work as well when you live on your own - stuff still has to get done.

It seems to have been slinging down with rain from the moment I got home.

I returned to the office this morning to see work had piled up as if I'd been away for a week or more.

Looks like everything's back to normal. On the plus side, I guess that means I'll be doing "the usual thing" in the pub this weekend then...

Out for a spin...

We're setting off tomorrow to surprise my [increasingly not so] little niece for her 8th birthday this weekend. It's always good to find an excuse to visit the family, and I'm ashamed to admit that I think this is probably our first trip this year (although they have been to stay at my place).

Until recently, the only bit I never really looked forward to was the trip itself. With the best will in the world (and a generous backwind), you're looking at a four hour drive and although I quite enjoy driving, I'm running out of alternative routes to keep my interest. Until I looked into air fares which suddenly re-focussed my attention.

Despite which, this is a drop in the ocean anyway compared to the mileage we were clocking up a couple of weeks ago. Well, when I say drop in ocean, I'm kind of hoping to stop before we reach the coast.

Oh, and I won't have a laptop with me on this more modest journey, so I'll catch up with the blog next week. Although you probably wouldn't have even noticed if I hadn't said...

OK, they got me...

It turned out to be a good presentation this morning after all, despite the content being generally quite familiar territory.

I behaved well and played along, but as I left the building tonight with my new t-shirt (emblazoned with the project name) tucked under my arm, I caught the tag line on the poster by the clock machine which I admit made me leave with a grin across my face for a change.

Aimed specifically at cynics like me, it said:
Been there? Done that? Well now you've got the t-shirt...

You have to laugh...

Like most reasonably sized companies, ours likes to jump on and off bandwagons in line with the latest trends, albeit Quality Assurance, Continuous Improvement, Six Sigma, you name it, we've probably tried most of them with varying degrees of success in the last 12 years or so that I've worked there.

The latest excuse for welcoming another set of consultants through our doors a few months ago was on another process improvement project. Probably costing several gazillions of Euros which, we mustn't forget, is an investment in our future. People have been buzzing around for months now, putting up posters, recruiting teams, re-decorating offices, posting progress charts all over the place and even holding briefings occasionally to tell us in person what they are planning to do.

Tomorrow is "Communication Event" day; an entire day dedicated to communicating to the masses as to how successful the project has been. The first we heard about it was at a quarter to four this evening when a large proportion of our employees weren't there to read it...

Still smoke free...

I just noticed the counter at the bottom of this page for the first time in a while and noticed that it is now over 1000 days since my last cigarette. So far so good.

Fortunately, temptation has continued to keep it's distance although I have to wonder that even if I did decide to start again, where I would find the time. As I am no longer allowed to smoke at work, in the pub, or even in the car, I'd probably have to learn to smoke in my sleep...

Just one of those moments...

As I drove home tonight and looked towards the impending rain clouds, I noticed what was probably the clearest, most perfect rainbow I've ever seen. To top it off, the radio started playing "Somewhere over the rainbow" by Eva Cassidy. Magical.

I've been looking since I got home earlier this evening, but I can't see the pot of gold lying around anywhere.

"Have I checked under the bed" did you say?

No, it's a nice place I've got here with indoor toilet and everything...

First day back...

I woke up before the alarm went off this morning.

I managed to slip straight back into the usual get-ready-for-work routine.

I remembered to drive on the left hand side of the road and that my car wasn't an automatic.

I even got to work early to get a headstart on the day.

Good job there were only 286 e-mails waiting for me.

Still, it's a little nearer to the weekend...

Enough about the holiday already...

OK, time to shut up about the holiday now. For anyone who's interested, I've created a Flickr account to share some of my photos which you can access here.

Apparently, I'm only allowed to share 200 pictures with the free account, but that should be enough to give you a flavour of what we saw...

The last hurdle...

Well I'm back in good ol' Blighty again although my return wasn't without incident.

The flight back to the UK was fine; 8 hours of just sitting around really, either in airport lounges or on the planes themselves. The fact that the guy next to me for the main flight had the worst B.O. and bad breath I've encountered for quite sometime can't really be blamed on the airline.

My arrival at Manchester airport sailed through so quickly that I was only 20 minutes from sitting on the plane to collecting my luggage and getting on the train. Unfortunately, things came to a grinding halt at Sheffield were they suddenly announced that due to a track-side fire they were terminating the service and nobody seemed to have any kind of clue as to what alternative transport would be provided. After an hour or so of standing around with still no information forthcoming from the station staff, I tracked down an alternative train myself and finally managed to get home.

Having had very little sleep in the previous 24 hours, I got my head down for an hour when I got home, after which of course it was time for some long overdue exercise for the Hobgoblin muscles...

Just for the record...

Anyone who knew me 15 years ago will recall my previous trip to St Louis and the hundreds of photos of the gateway arch I brought back.

Well I couldn't leave here without sharing one with you all so here's a view of the arch from inside the Busch Stadium...

Making the most of the day...

As I said last night, today was my last full day so we wanted to cram in as many things as possible, as I guess tomorrow morning will soon disappear while getting everything ready for the flight home.

We started the day with a trip to St Louis Zoo. Yes, I know I was only at San Diego Zoo a few days ago but I had to decide for myself which one was the better and I have to say St Louis won hands down. OK, they didn't have the pandas, but they appeared to have a greater selection of animals, more of each, and they were presented in such a way that they had more room to move around and also to provide clear photo opportunities for us visitors. Oh and did I mention it's free? Well unless you are a St Louis tax payer and even then I suspect it's still a bargain.

From there we crossed Forest Park to look around the St Louis Art Museum. Now I'm not really the art gallery type but this was well worth the look around. Unsurprisingly there were several really beautiful items and equally, some which to my mind were simply ridiculous, but what do I know? Who am I to say when a fluorescent light in a white room becomes a piece of art?

This afternoon we had a brief tour around the city to see some of the places from my last visit, after which we headed into Harrah's; my first time in a "proper" casino. Not even slightly tempted by the poker tables, I settled for grabbing a free drink and blowing an extravagant $7 dollars on the slots before deciding I was far too bored to stay much longer. Still it did provide the first person of this trip to ask if I was from England and whether I lived near the Queen. Of course, I answered that she only lives a couple of hours away.

Tonight in my newly acquired Cardinals shirt and baseball cap, I got to see my first ball game and once again I'm pleased to report that it completely lived up to my expectations. It would have been better if the Cardinals had come away with a decent result, but the atmosphere in the stadium was electric all the same and it was good to see such a range of people of all ages all enjoying themselves without even the merest hint of any trouble.

On the train back, I was chatting to Steph about life, the universe and pretty much everything when I noticed a lady "of advancing years" standing in the aisle and felt obliged to do the British thing and offer my seat, although she politely declined. As we all got off the train she commented to Steph "What a charming husband you have" and despite protestations that we live in different countries, she refused to leave the matter there. So, I suppose you could say that this is the second time I've been out of the country and unexpectedly found myself married.

Oh boy, am I in trouble when I get home...

Back to base...

I was told a couple of days ago that there is a country song somewhere that says the best way to see Amarillo is through a rear view mirror. To be fair, the view from the rear view mirror this morning was somewhat obscured as the sun had yet to rise when we left. All the same, it sounds a bit harsh to me as although I admit it may not be the most picturesque place I've visited, the people were certainly nice enough. Except maybe for the guy who appeared to be taking a pee in the ice dispenser at the gas station last night. Takes all sorts I guess.

I was surprised to see the number of speed traps on the last leg of our journey today. It appears that the emphasis here is to hide away and try to catch people speeding, whereas at home there is more focus on deterrent. From what I've seen, both approaches are as ineffective as each other, although of course I wouldn't dream of exceeding the legal speed limits anyway.

We've had a CB handset in the car for most of the journey which has been useful to hear tip offs about delays from local truckers and entertaining to hear the banter between them. We had a nice comment this morning from one guy who had obviously spotted the antenna on the car from his truck "Stick behind me little four-wheeled friend and I'll get you wherever you're heading!"

So this evening, after 11 days covering 4808 miles with and 202 photos (and that's just mine), I'm pleased to report that we made it safely back to St Louis, having covered everything on our original agenda and a few bonuses to boot.

As each of the "lasts" are slowly creeping up, tomorrow sees my last full day here so we have some local sightseeing planned during the day followed by a trip to Busch Stadium to watch the St Louis Cardinals.

Well you have to take in everything you can, it could be a little while before I get back here again...

Sha-la-la, la-la, la-la, la...

I know the way to Amarillo - in fact I'm sat in my hotel room there right now typing this.

So what's been going on? Well yesterday was our last day in Arizona, the weather came up trumps so we spent the day catching up with more local attractions. Firstly off to the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum where I got the chance to see plenty of real grown up cacti rather than the tiny attempts I've nurtured at home in the past. As a bonus I got the chance to handle a snake (stop making your own jokes up) while we were talking to one of the guides there.

In the afternoon we visited the Titan Missile Museum; a local missile silo complete with Titan missile intact. Do you know, they are really sensitive about which buttons they'll let you play with?! Joking aside, this is a genuine silo, complete with missile (both obviously long since rendered safe) and the extremely well-informed guide managed to keep us interested and one particularly over enthusiastic smart-arse in his place (no, it wasn't me). Kind of scary when you realise exactly what this single installation would once have been capable of, but really interesting all the same.

We've had 11 hours on the road today, including my first attempt at 6 lane driving through Albuquerque, and I'm pleased to report car and passengers survived the ordeal. We arrived at the hotel as planned this evening and you can't spend the night in cattle country and not enjoy a steak dinner so tonight we headed out to Hoffbrau Steaks just down the road who obliged in excellent form with a 10oz porterhouse with steak fries and salad. I'm hardly a lightweight these days in terms of appetite or physique, but still chose to overlook the numerous offers of eating a whole 72oz steak to get it for free.

I'm sad to say that it's all coming to an end rather too quickly now. Tonight is the last night in a hotel and tomorrow is the last day on the road, but there's still a few exciting events lined up in St Louis before I fly home so please keep checking in...

Weather's here, wish you were beautiful...

White man came to desert and brought rain. Lots of rain actually, complete with thunder and lightning. It's not the tragedy that it might initially appear as the rain is needed in this part of Arizona and so far, we have managed to keep the to-do list ticked and up to date in the dry spells. So seeing as I am stuck inside right now waiting for the sun to re-appear, I'll give you a quick update.

Yesterday morning we paid a visit to San Diego Zoo and as zoos go, it is a very good one. Very well laid out with a variety of walks and enclosures exhibiting almost every kind of animal you would wish to see.

The problem I find with zoos is that once you have seen a few good ones it's hard to find something new, but here of course I got to see pandas for what I'm quite sure is the first time.



Three pandas in fact; one sleeping in his tree, another munching through his bamboo breakfast and the new arrival via the Panda Cam that you can also see here. All wrapped up in around three hours and then time to hit the road again and wave goodbye to California.

Seeing as Pete had done most of the driving to L.A. and back the previous day, I thought it only fair to take the lion's share of the journey from San Diego to Tucson. It started of predictably as a pleasant drive through a 107 degree California desert, but as we crossed the border into Arizona we hit rain and dusts storms - an unexpected module of my international driving skills course. There's little you can do really other than slow down and get on with it, but I'll admit it was a relief to come out of the third consecutive storm intact.

Bright weather again this morning so we headed off to the Pima Air and Space Museum in Tucson. I've never been much of a plane spotter, but the huge array of aircraft on display coupled with the fascinating commentary of our guide made for a fascinating trip out.

Well it looks like the sun has appeared again and there's still plenty to get done before we leave Arizona Tuesday morning and head for Texas ...

Well, seeing as we are there...

As I said from the beginning, the biggest advantage of a holiday such as this is the flexibility to deal with whatever ideas arise and make spontaneous changes to the original plan.

Much as San Diego is a lovely place, it did seem a shame to be in California and not take a trip to visit one of the most well-known places in the world - Los Angeles. It was about a three hour drive from where we were but I was genuinely excited at the prospect of touring Hollywood and the surrounding districts, although it turned out to be remarkably different from my expectations.

First we went through to Beverly Hills and found a bargain parking spot at only $1 an hour, then set about looking around the shopping area in Rodeo Drive and Santa Monica Boulevard before taking a drive around to look at the hugely extravagant dwellings that apparently pass as homes for some people.

From there on we drove into the areas where I expected to see a more traditional Hollywood, Sunset Boulevard and Hollywood Boulevard, but I was surprised to see a complete contrast to our previous location. Sure, we got pictures of the Chinese Theatre and Kodak Theatre and waded through the multitude of souvenir shops in the area. Unfortunately, I was completely taken aback by how run down the surrounding area was and the number of people who were literally rummaging through litter bins apparently looking for food. Talk about how the other half lives.

To end on a more positive note, I finally got to dip my toes in the Pacific, polished off another excellent meal in the same restaurant as last night and finished off the evening with another set of photos of that incredible sunset.

And to think everyone complained about the number of arch photos I took last time I was across here...

Halfway point...

After a morning driving through the deserts in Arizona and California, we arrived in San Diego just after lunch and exactly as planned. SeaWorld occupied most of the afternoon and despite being swamped with souvenir shops and corporate sponsorship blurb, the performing dolphins and killer whales probably justify the entrance fee alone.

After a delicious seafood platter at The Green Flash overlooking Pacific Beach, we just got out in time to see the sun go down over the Pacific Ocean.

Nothing more to say today really...

Clear skies ahead...

I could write all night about the amazing scenery as we drove from Santa Fe through New Mexico and into Arizona, but I'll save it until I get the photos on Flickr or somewhere similar. Most importantly, we've finally left the rain behind and the long awaited sunshine came out to greet us to the southern leg of our journey.

As a result of another spontaneous change last night, we decided to bring forward something from next weeks agenda and I now need to update the 30 things list as I add Mexico to the countries I've visited. That said, I can't say that I've really seen Mexico; having spent around 25 minutes wandering around being constantly hassled by touts to buy dubious Rolex watches, genuine Mexican jewellery and pharmaceutical products of all descriptions, we decided we'd seen enough and headed back to the border.

We headed back north to a little town called Tubac just north of the Mexican border where they had an intriguing collection of sculptures. We also stopped off at this point for some genuine Mexican Green Chilli Stew which went down very well despite it being around 97 in the shade!

This afternoon we headed up Madera Canyon where aside from the beautiful views over Green Valley (here he goes with his scenery again), we got a chance to check out some of the local wildlife.

Early night tonight in preparation for another early start tomorrow, but all being well we'll get to San Diego for lunchtime to see what delights await us there...

Lost for words...

It's not often that words fail me but today they did.

The weather has done it's best to dampen spirits, but a combination of dogged determination and the ignorance to ascend 13000ft up a mountain in t-shirt and jeans have rewarded me with the most incredible scenery I've ever seen.

From the plains of heading into Colorado, to the top of Pikes Peak (or as near as weather would allow); through the Garden of the Gods and into the beautiful backdrop of the New Mexico horizon, the imagery I've seen today has left me absolutely gobsmacked.

As an added bonus, we made up enough time to skip our intended stopping point tonight and we got to Santa Fe in time for an unexpected look around which was a real treat (despite my camera batteries dying on me).

I really ought to be posting loads of pictures to support this lot, but I also need to get on with enjoying the break. So in the meantime, I'll leave you with the little taster above and tomorrow we'll see what Arizona has to offer...

And they're off...

It's fair to say that the weather has been less than kind since my arrival in the USA, although yesterday we managed to get out between showers to re-visit the Gateway Arch (OK guys, I've not taken any pictures this time - yet); finish off shopping for the last few essentials and catch Sh-Boom playing a free gig in a local park.

Sh-Boom are clearly a really talented bunch of guys and although we didn't manage to catch the entire two hour performance, the hour or so that we did see would indicate that they put on a very entertaining show. I doubt we'll ever see them in the Grimsby area, but do check their website and if they are playing near you, I recommend you go and see them. Oh, and don't pay any attention to the continued references to "oldies".

It seems my trips over here obviously imply some kind of baptism of fire. The last time I came across, I had never flown and chose to take my first flight over 10 hours. This time I had never driven abroad and after a brief spin around a local car park I contributed today to around 350 miles in the first leg of our 4200 mile journey.

The weather forecast continues to look "interesting" here in Colorado, but temperatures in Arizona and California over the next few days offer some serious sunshine potential. So time to sign off and get some kip; if the weather is clear enough tomorrow morning, we've a 13000ft mountain to climb.

Don't be silly, of course I'll be climbing it in the car...

What a hoot...

It's around 2:20am here, but as my body thinks it's 8:20 and that it should be awake I thought I'd sign in and say hello. The noise from the crickets takes a bit of getting used to again; honestly, if I hear Peggy Sue one more time tonight...

Anyway, greetings from the USA. I made it across, around 21 hours after my alarm went off this morning and several hours behind schedule, but I'm here nonetheless. To be fair, the journey was pretty smooth and the only real delays were in avoiding bad weather and in immigration where nobody could decide where we should be queuing and kept moving us all back and forth for an hour or so. I did get the chance to read the whole of Peter Kay's autobiography "The Sound of Laughter" though which is a bloody good laugh incidentally and well worth a look.

The unfortunate outcome was that by the time they'd finished questioning, taking finger prints and digital photos, I'd missed my connecting flight and had to collect my bag and book another one. No big deal; I've seen too many episodes of Airport to get as stroppy and animated as many of the others had chosen to.

No, the only hairy part of the journey was at the very beginning when the taxi driver dropped me at Cleethorpes station shortly before 5.00am with the kind warning "Oh by the way mate, don't go wandering off the station on your own, the pubs haven't been closed for long and there's plenty of idiots out causing trouble." Marvellous. I'll just hang around a deserted station platform on my own for half an hour then trying not to get mugged. What a great start.

Anyway on a happier note, we rounded the day off with Pete treating us to a meal in a local restaurant. Have you ever heard of Hooters? No, I bet you haven't; OK, whatever you say. It's a great place - great food; very reasonably priced; they serve a great iced tea and the waitresses? Clearly they have an established selection criteria and I'm certainly not about to complain. In fact, I wonder if they open for breakfast...

Gullibles Travels...

I really thought I'd organised everything to slip away from the office un-noticed really early this afternoon, but having dealt with all of the "just before you go's" I had to settle for a little early.

Whatever, at least that's it for a while now and I'm certainly ready for this break. We're planning to have a laptop with us and there are several WiFi spots along the way so if I get the chance, I'll be posting blog entries in lieu of postcards.

Either way, sooner or later, there's bound to be details of the 2007 American Adventure on here, so watch this space...

Weight watching...

People who know what a routine freak I am will not be surprised in the slightest to hear that:

~ My bags were packed for the holiday almost a week before I was due to set off.
~ I have a handful of envelopes with all of my travel documents sorted and separated for incoming, outgoing, important documents and copies of everything
~ I have sent copies of the rough itinerary and contact details throughout to Little Sis and the folks
~ My taxi is booked to arrive at the station well before the train is due to leave.
~ The train tickets were bought in advance to ensure I get to the airport three hours before the flight is due.
~ I carefully planned out and selected what I need to take with me to ensure it would all fit in my smallest case, which is small enough to constitute hand luggage. I even re-measured my case to ensure it met regulations. Which it did.

I've been following a checklist for the last week or so to make sure everything is done by the time it needs to be and I thought I'd been pretty thorough, but there's always something else.

For some reason, I awoke at an unearthly hour this morning and realised that I hadn't checked the maximum weight (of hand luggage) I was allowed to carry on and it's a good job I did. 6kg!!! I've taken heavier packed lunches to work than that. The empty case weighs over 2kg!

Even with my most economical packing, there is no way I can get it that light, so it looks like I'm checking my bag in. And if that's the case (no pun intended), I might as well re-pack and take a bigger one, allowing room for a few more souvenirs.

Honestly, I've never planned so hard for such a spontaneous event...

A couple of reasons to smile...

I spend enough time on here wittering about drivers being inconsiderate, but today praise is due to the Morrisons petrol tanker driver I followed home earlier this evening.

Fair do's, I sighed when he didn't turn off where I expected him to and headed off into the windy country road ahead of me. However, as soon as we reached the first reasonable passing point he flashed his left indicator tolet me know the road ahead of him was clear and I could get past. Top bloke indeed.

Secondly, we were discussing TV themes in the pub Friday night (as we are inclined to do after a beer or two) and I was delighted tonight to find the opening and closing themes to one of the ones we were trying to remember.

For the opening theme follow this link, scroll down to "Listen to samples" and listen to track 4
For the closing theme follow this link and listen to track 8.

Now, if you are about the same age as me and were brought up in the UK, you should have memories come flooding back of watching telly while you were on a sickie from school...

Game over...

Last night saw the latest reality TV spectacle come to a close; let's hope for the last time, as each series seems to plunge further and further into the depths of superficiality.

Despite initial interest in this years activity in the BB house (due to it being populated in the main by young females), I rapidly lost interest after the media attention grabbing episode when Emily got evicted. I can't deny that her use of the n-word was inappropriate and incredibly naive, but there was clearly no malice intended when she used it and I still believe she was a scapegoat for Channel 4 & Endemol to make amends for the earlier celebrity fiasco.

I didn't go out of my way to watch the final eviction show last night, although it was playing to a minority of half-interested people in the corner of the pub. It was a surprise to overhear that Brian was the winner - I really thought the twins had the prize in the bag.

Still, I doubt there are any losers when they will all earn a tidy sum in return for selling their souls to the media over the next few weeks.

I doubt I'll be the first or last to say it, but at least this years winner will be the first one in the UK who actually is a big brother...

All meat and a real treat...

One of the highlights of a typical Friday night in the Tap is the meat draw. Although sometimes dismissed as a bit corny, it is somewhat of a pub tradition and despite what some might think, there's no shortage of ticket sales in time for the big draw around 9:30.

Why would I be posting about it partcularly? Well it's fair to say that I've had my fair share of good luck in it. I've seldom bought more than a couple of strips of tickets, but my continued success has become something of a standing joke at the bar.

On more than one occasion, I've tried to disprove any possible "fixing" by swapping tickets with one of the regulars, but my numbers are still called and invariably they are numbers received during the swap.

As a result, my freezer is now generously stocked with two pork joints, two gammon joints, a lamb joint, a chicken and several remaining cuts from grill packs so I'm guessing the regulars will be pleased that I will not be there for the next three Fridays.

And when I get back from my trip, I suppose it might be a good idea to look into the Atkins diet...

Telesales with a difference...

I'm pleased to report that my registration with TPS has lived up to my expectations and on the very rare occasion I do get an unwanted call, a brief reminder that I'm registered with TPS sends them running with their tails between their legs.

To date, I've been fairly lucky in avoiding unwanted texts and calls to my mobile, so when I got a telesales call on it this week, I was caught a little off guard...

CPW: Hi, this is the O2 team at Carphone Warehouse. We're just calling to see that everything is going OK
Me: Erm... yes... everything has been just fine
CPW: Well I don't know if you've realised, but you've reached the end of your initial contract and qualify for a free upgrade on your handset
(I become immediately suspicious at the propect of something for nothing)
Me: Well I say everything is fine; to tell the truth I've been pretty unlucky [careless] with my handset and had to replace it. I've bought a pay as you go model and switched my SIM card
CPW: Oh, sorry to hear that...
(I'm now expecting serious sales pitch on the benefits of their insurance policies)
CPW: What sort of handset do you like? Is there any particular make you prefer?
Me: Well yes, but I've replaced it so recently that I'm quite happy with it and don't need to consider replacing it just yet
CPW: Fine, I understand. Well perhaps we could just reduce your monthly payment by £10 a month and you'll still get your 200 minutes and 200 texts included

Clearly, I took them up on their generous offer. Gobsmacked is hardly the word - fancy receiving a sales call and ending up with something I actually wanted...

Em to please...

I know this is my second stats related post in just over a week, but I just spotted another one that amused me.

Eight people from the last twenty that ended up here from search engines were looking for Emily Maitlis, presumably as a result of the recent "flashing" incident which offended some BBC viewers.

She was only ever been mentioned on this blog once before today when I stated in one of the comments last April that I'd just Googled her. Unfortunately, it sounds as sordid now as it did back then.

Now I don't usually post celebrity photos as there's plenty of other sites out there providing a more than adequate service. Apparently. All the same, it's fair to say that she would brighten the place up a bit.

Most importantly, I feel obliged to post a picture if for no other reason than to offend the kind of small minded moron who takes offence at the thought of an attractive newsreader having legs...

Short Film Review...

Many would say this is inconceivable, but I never really got into the Star Wars thing. In fact, I've only ever seen the first three. Well, the second three. Well, the fourth, fifth & sixth. You know which ones I mean - the first three to be released.

I've never really done the "short film" thing either. In my experience they always concentrate too much on being arty farty rather than trying to get a decent story or message across. Sweeping generalisation I know.

That all changed this morning. Unable to sleep at a ridiculous hour, I went through and put the TV on and caught a great little film on the Sci Fi Channel called "George Lucas in Love" which I supposed you could say is the real first episode of Star Wars.

Fortunately, people have had the foresight to post it on YouTube so take a look for yourselves here - I think it's 8 minutes of movie that's well worth seeing...

Height of ignorance...

Until recently, I'd never really given much thought as to why the Americans have elevation signs at the roadside, but when Pete mentioned how some people suffer from elevation sickness, I decided that perhaps it was time to look into it further.

I'm not a big fan of heights; it's rare enough that I'll work at the top of a step ladder, although if I'm in an enclosed environment such as a plane, car, or a building observation deck then it's never been a problem.

Now I've had a chance to put things in perspective and in my typically geeky fashion, I plotted the elevation of the various stages of our forthcoming trip and although it is exaggerated by our visit to Pikes Peak in the Rocky Mountains but a considerable remainder of the trip is around 3000 feet:



The dotted red line represents the height of Mam Tor in the Peak District which is probably the highest place I've ever been. It doesn't look that significant here at a mere 1696 feet, although it seemed bloody high up at the time, especially when we thought my mate Rob had jumped off. (There was in fact a plateau beyond the point that we'd believed to be the escarpment edge and we'd bottled out before getting that close).

So, I guess I'll find out when I get there and in the meantime, assume that's what people are referring to when they talk about a natural high...


Update: I've been reminded that I have actually been higher than Mam Tor - the Sears Tower Skydeck is 1353 feet high, but 1948 feet above sea level, so the graph has been updated accordingly. I'm sure you were all really concerned...

Doctor Seany...

I continue to be fascinated by the reasons people end up here and enjoy the diversity of referrals I get, but this morning I found something a little different.

Although I appreciate that most of my ramblings are about working too hard, partying too hard (is that possible?) or being pestered by morons on my daily commute, there's seldom much very sensible to be found here. Pictures of bunny girls or Samantha Janus (sadly I have no combination of the two) continue to reign as the most popular reason for landing here from search engines.

I'm sure you can imagine my surprise when I found an incoming referral from Right Health website with a direct link to one of my posts in their Best of Health section. Ironically, the post in question was about my planning a lazy day, having eaten far too much from a meat pack I'd won from the pub.

Hmmm, what a shining example of healthy living I must be...

Suddenly I see...

A week or so ago I thought it might be fun to see if there are any interesting gigs that coincide with our American tour next month and was quite pleased when I spotted somewhere that KT Tunstall was playing in St Louis on one of the nights we would be there.

Whilst suggesting the idea to Pete yesterday, I was having difficulty finding any ticket details on either hers or the venue's website despite the fact that elsewhere it clearly said that she would be playing there on 20th September. All we could find were tickets for a gig in New York (sadly not on our already extensive agenda) or reviews for the last time she'd played there.

It was only after some extensive searching that the penny finally dropped and I realised that St Louis was actually included in her U.S. Tour - on 20th September 2006...

Road Trip...

It's quite a few weeks now since I last posted about this year's holiday and having spent three and a half hours on the phone discussing plans this afternoon, I'm now as excited as a child on Christmas morning. And there are still three weeks to go yet.

Yes, three weeks today I should be at Pete's place in St Louis making the last minute preparations for what I hope will be the holiday of a lifetime. Basically, we'll be driving from St Louis to San Diego and back again, taking in Kansas, Colorado, New Mexico, California, Mexico, Texas and Oklahoma along the way.

We've pre-booked hotels to coincide with our loosely planned agenda, but the true beauty of this trip is that it will be mainly spontaneous. If one particular place really appeals we could stay longer and conversely, if something doesn't live up to our expectations we can just move on elsewhere.

All told, we will be driving around 4,200 miles over a period of 70-odd hours and earthquakes, dust storms, tornados, etc. permitting, we should get to take in some of the most breathtaking scenery in the world.

I suppose you could say it's just a really extravagant way of taking a trip to the zoo...

Difficult time...

I was saddened to receive a phone call from my mate Steve this morning telling me that his Mum finally lost her battle against cancer and passed away yesterday morning.

These situations are never easy to deal with, but much as we are all extremely upset at her passing, I'm afraid I can't also deny a sense of relief that she's no longer facing her daily battle against unimaginable pain and discomfort.

An incredibly brave woman with an enormous sense of loyalty for her family, I'm pleased to have known her and to have bestowed upon her the dubious honour of being the nearest anyone has got to date to becoming my mother-in-law.

After all of the challenges that the last few years have presented, the phrase rest in peace does actually feel incredibly appropriate...

The big barbie...

The Tap football team had their annual fundraising barbie this weekend and I'm pleased to say that once again it delivered everything we expected.

It was certainly no place for non-carnivores, although there was some very tasty red snapper to be had. There were the obligatory scattered showers which failed to dampen the spirits and on the subject of spirits, there were plenty of cut price drinks to help wash the food down and toast Julie on her 50th birthday.

Quite how the two most determined of us had managed to finish off in a nightclub three and a half miles away and nine hours later is another story entirely. Luckily, I know myself well enough now to book following days to such events off work and keep both my job and my driving license intact...

Life imitating art...

I guess it's been on the cards for some time that with such an important project coming to fruition at work this week, I would have to put in quite a few hours from home this weekend.

Still, having worked into the small hours this morning and been awake enough to start again about 6 hours later, I felt that I'd earnt the right to stop mid afternoon, get a few chores out of the way then plant myself with a cuppa in front of the telly for a couple of hours.

The listings didn't have a lot to offer, but I did spot Groundhog Day was on again. Yes, I know we've all seen it plenty of times before but it is one of the few films I can watch time and time again, still laugh at the same jokes in all of the same places and enjoy from beginning to end.

Good job I don't have the DVD, I could watch it again already. Then watch it again...

Life imitating art...

I guess it's been on the cards for some time that with such an important project coming to fruition at work this week, I would have to put in quite a few hours from home this weekend.

Still, having worked into the small hours this morning and been awake enough to start again about 6 hours later, I felt that I'd earnt the right to stop mid afternoon, get a few chores out of the way then plant myself with a cuppa in front of the telly for a couple of hours.

The listings didn't have a lot to offer, but I did spot Groundhog Day was on again. Yes, I know we've all seen it plenty of times before but it is one of the few films I can watch time and time again, still laugh at the same jokes in all of the same places and enjoy from beginning to end.

Good job I don't have the DVD, I could watch it again already. Then watch it again...

Bit of a sore head...

Thanks to a bit of forward planning, I'd booked the day off today expecting to feel a bit delicate after the inevitable celebrations that would come with my mate Dom turning 26 yesterday.

We started with a football match between the pub team and a team of regulars at the local college grounds. I missed the event last year so I was probably more surprised than most at what a great performance the regulars put on. Admittedly towards the end there were about 16 "regulars" players on the pitch and following a seven all draw, it seemed a bit harsh that we should lose it on penalties. Irrespective of the score, they raised over £100 to be split between a local school and scout group.

From then on, there followed a leisurely afternoon in the Tap sat on the balcony , occasionally jumping to our feet to admire the large fish swimming below, but generally supping beer and exchanging tales of varying degrees of filth and offence from each others mobile phones.

Early evening and a dozen of us hopped into taxis to cross town and enjoy a superb carvery dinner. Next stop, the worlds smallest pub for a beer festival where we probably should have stayed for the remainder of the evening as the subsequent venues in Cleethorpes proved to be either closed, full of idiots, too noisy or carrying an odour reminiscent of an open sewer.

In total though, a really good day. Why the sore head? No, not the hangover that you're all expecting to read about, the drinking was maintained at a suitably modest level. No, it seems that despite the fact that I've sported a number one haircut since a charity head shave several years ago, I still haven't realised the importance of covering my head when I'm out in the sun all day...

Mad about Harry...

I see the young muggles were queuing for hours against all of the elements in order to be among of the first to get their hands on the last Harry Potter book, and why not. A bit of hype never hurt anyone and although I've never read the books, I have always enjoyed their transformation onto film. I heartily agree with a comment I heard yesterday that if it is encouraging our youth to get their noses stuck into books again then that can only be a good thing.

Why do we always have to take things too far though? I understand Childline have been put on alert to deal with thousands of potentially grieving children should one of the primary characters meet their demise in the last book. Now I'm sorry, but I'm afraid there are plenty of children suffering genuine terror and abuse in their lives that in my opinion come a little higher up the Childline priority list than someone who's read a sad story.

I suspect there are many out there who cried when Bambi's mother died, when Dumbo was being teased, or when E.T. went home, but I equally doubt that any of us suffered any long term psychological damage over it. There was always someone not too far away to dismiss it as "just a story".

Or, of course, everyone could save themselves the potential angst by Googling for "Deathly Hallows spoiler". I deliberately haven't linked - just sowed the seeds of temptation and left it up to you...

Tut, Tut, Tut...

This morning's BBC radio news headline was that our home secretary tried smoking pot when she was a student. By teatime, the state of the nation had plummeted yet further as we learnt that several of our cabinet ministers tried it when they were teenagers.

Headline news. Really. I tried it too when I was younger, haven't touched it for many years and it's about as relevant.

They should have questioned our ministers further - who knows what horrors may have been uncovered. Drinking alcohol before they were 18? Smoking cigarettes before they were 16? Sexual activity before the age of consent? Driving over the speed limit?

Surely there are more relevant activities going on throughout the world that we ought to be aware of. It seems to me that when there's nothing left to be said, someone in BBC news is preparing to say it.

And don't get me started on those bleeding Beckhams...

An explanation...

OK, perhaps the last post was a bit mean to anyone who happened to drop by at the wrong time so here's an idea of what I actually walked away with earlier this evening:



It's not the best of pictures but it will give you a rough idea until I get time to take a better one. Besides, have you ever tried taking a photo of your own right arm when you're right handed?

Unsurprisingly, I didn't want to settle for an off-the-shelf design so I took a standard template then added some other elements to represent religious belief, in a Celtic design because of my Gaelic name, a Celtic sun symbol, astrological (sun) symbols for all of my immediate family (and quite a few friends besides), my Chinese year of birth, an ancient symbol of eternity and a yin-yang for overall balance and harmony.

Sure, there are multiple interpretations to many of these symbols, but I guess in it's entirety it represents to me the importance of faith, family, friends and a sense of synergy.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to light some insense sticks put on some atmospheric music and contemplate what I'm going to have for my back piece...

Tat-two...

Finally the waiting is over. After nearly eighteen months since the last one and about four months since I joined the waiting list, I'm now the proud owner of my second tattoo.

Positioned on my upper right arm to balance out the first one, I sat for another three hours while Stewart worked his prerequisite magic on my grubby, folded, photocopied design and transformed it into something much more artistic, managing to capture everything I hoped he would.

I know it effects different people different ways, but I can honestly say that this one went far easier than the last one and the last one was hardly agonising. All I can say is that it was definitely worth putting up with a little discomfort and certainly well worth the wait.

What does it look like? Sorry, got to go now - the pizza man's just arrived with my tea. I'll see if I can get a photo on here later...

So, the cinema is cool...

Perhaps a bit too nippy actually, I think someone had gone a bit OTT on the aircon controls, but fortunately, I've been putting aside a few pounds of insulation for just such an occasion.

The verdict? Very good - my loss for the last twelve years I guess. Company was enjoyable as expected, but I was pleasantly surprised by the comfy seats, plenty of legroom and lack of unwanted noise from the audience (quite a result for a Sunday afternoon). The film was excellent - we decided on the latest Harry Potter offering. If you're reading this Little Sis, I'm sorry for beating you to it, but you have read the book so you've a good idea how it ends anyway.

Back to a day of normality in the office today but tomorrow sees a day off for my long awaited return to the studio for some additional inking a mere one year, five months and one day since the last one...

Flash, bang, whallop, water picture...

This weekend I'm off to the cinema. What am I watching? Not sure yet. Who am I taking? That would be telling. Anyway, the point is that I'm off to the pictures for the first time in a long time.

Admittedly, I didn't go for years because I dreaded the thought of sitting there for a couple of hours unable to light up a cigarette. Not really an excuse for the last two and a half years though.

The last time I went to cinema? Well Little Sis had just finished working at a shop and was having a leaving party to which she was kind enough to invite me and my mate Nick. OK, not everyone would drive over 260 miles for a party, but I can't help who I am. Seeing as the taxi fare home would have been a bit tasty for one night out, we made a weekend of it and on the following night all went to Port Solent where we decided to take in a film.

The other three really wanted to see some Batman rubbish or other, but I had bigger (wish I could say better) ideas - on one of the other screens was the most expensive movie ever made (at the time). I obviously made quite a convincing argument "Imagine how awesome this film must be if they've spent so many millions of dollars on it".

In the 12 years since, I've had to live under the shadow of guilt that I robbed them of two hours and sixteen minutes of their lives that they will never get back. All for the utter pile of shite that went by the name of Waterworld.

The nachos were excellent though...

Car trouble...

I get my fair share of funny text messages and although some of the filthiest are from the least likely sources, they are usually quite harmless and I'm quite happy to pass them on.

There was one from a couple of years ago that got me into a spot of bother but for no other reason than that I'd caused a moments unecessary concern.

So I really should have known better before I forwarded this one this morning:

I'm so pissed off - someone's just crashed into me with one of those new Skodas. There's fuckin' jam sponge and icing everywhere...

It so amused my poor brother-in-law that he decided to send it on, only to incurr the wrath of both his sister and mine - it seems they both received it at "just the wrong moment" and reacted before the message had truly sunk in.

Not that I'm laughing too loud - the girl who sent it to me last night told me she was doing so at the time but as I didn't use my phone again until the alarm went off this morning, I too suffered the very same momentary panic when I opened it...

So that's where I am...

I realise that it is Sunday morning and many people will be awaking to the revelation above, but can assure you that my weekend has remained alcohol and therefore hangover free.

A couple of weeks ago I was working with a couple of my European colleagues when they asked me a question I thought I really should have been able to answer. I had been creating a new customer profile on the system when it asked me for the two-letter country code. When "UK" was not recognised I said that I'm still not always sure which fields want "UK" or which required "GB".

At this point they asked "So what is the correct name - is it England, Great Britain, UK, what's the difference?". I explained that the United Kingdom, or UK, comprises of four countries, England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.

"So what about Great Britain? Is that just another name for the UK?"
To my absolute shame, I thought that it probably was except that I've since learnt that Great Britain only refers to the largest island of the British Isles. Perhaps that's common knowledge, in which case, I'm not as common as I thought.

British Isles. Hmmm... now that could take some explaining and it seems that even Wikipedia is struggling to come to my rescue. It's probably better that I steer clear of that explanation entirely.

On a lighter note however, I see this morning that Google Earth have updated their images of my little part of the world so at least I can now clearly pick out the bungalow and see exactly where I am...

Up in smoke...

I imagine by now that nearly everyone in England is perfectly aware that the smoking ban comes into force at midnight tonight, after which it becomes illegal to smoke in almost any enclosed public place.

The phrase "smoke free England" strikes me as a little ambitious, although given the weather of late, it don't see many people hanging around outside doorways trying to get their fix in the slinging rain & floods.

Typically, the new rules are overly complicated as demonstrated by the quiz on the BBC Breakfast website. I managed a modest 9 out of 15 and can only assume I got so many wrong as I relied on common sense when selecting my answers. Should have known better really.

I have joked for several weeks now that I might just start smoking again on July 1st as a protest against the infringement on my rights, but to tell the truth, even though I resent having put weight on, I don't miss cigarettes one little bit and I'm not even remotely attracted to the idea.

Even if it has only been 910 days, 16 hours, 5 minutes and 25 seconds since my last one...

Going where the sun shines brightly...

I've never really been one for holidays but on the occasional times I have been away (that are not business related), I've tried to make them worthwhile.

I'm now only one step away from finalising holiday plans for later this year having eventually managed to book my train tickets online tonight. Apparently you can only book them twelve weeks in advance, but it's done now and all I have to do is wait for the postman to deliver them. Once the postal strike is over. Gulp.

The last thing to get sorted is my international driving permit, which only lasts for three months so I've had to wait until such time as it would be valid until I return. Passport pics tomorrow then and off in the post on Monday.

Where am I heading? Well I'll be taking a short taxi ride, a train journey, a couple of flights, over 4000 miles of (shared) driving, visiting two countries, nine states through countless towns and cities before taking planes, trains and automobiles back home again.

As I said, don't do holidays often so now I'm finally being tempted away, I might as well make it a good 'un...

Blue pencil alert...

I've never been much of a fan of censorship, largely because I am a rational adult who is capable of turning a TV or radio to another channel or if necessary, switching it off completely.

That said, I suppose I still support the idea of some kind of watershed so that kids don't have be subjected to unsuitable material over the tea table, but whether 9 o'clock is still an appropriate time limit, I'm not entirely sure.

I was watching "That 70s Show" tonight on Paramount and for reasons best known to themselves, they had decided to repeatedly blank out the word "ass". Poor Eric always takes a verbal battering from his Dad and is always being called "Dumbass" so there are some scenes where hardly any dialogue can be heard at all. If the language is seen to be so inappropriate for a family audience then why show it so early? Or at all?

Funnier still, was an example on the Radio 2 breakfast show the other morning where they played a censored version of Christina Aguilera's "Candyman". Now we all know that young Xtina is not exactly backward in pushing the boundaries of decency when she chooses, but I think they ruined a perfectly good song. More to the point, by replacing phrases like "cherry pop" and "panties drop" with record scratching, wolf whistles or trombone noises, they made it sound a whole lot filthier than it was with lyrics intact.

Censorship. Why can't they just leave us alone to make our own decisions the interfering bunch of c****...

Call holding...

At last I appear to have my phone back.

No, this isn't another sorry tale of a mobile phone being dropped somewhere it doesn't work very well, I'm referring to the fact that I've got my land line back. Not that I've lost any service during the recent weather; probably more accurate to say the numerous daily telesales calls have just about stopped at last.

How? Well a little while ago, Little Sis put me onto the Telephone Preference Service who in return for taking a few minutes to register with them, prohibits companies from calling you trying to sell something without your consent. It can take up to 28 days before it takes full effect, but if recent results are anything to go by, it's time well spent.

I hadn't anticipated a letter that arrived through the door this week though:

Dear Seany

We tried to contact you by phone recently but are no longer able to do so as you have registered with the TPS. Over 90% of our customers who registered for the service hadn't realised that we would no longer be able to call you to inform you of our latest promotional offers. Please return the attached consent form, blah,blah, blah.

Really? Over 90% of these people didn't realise that TPS would do exactly what we hoped they would do? I think we know where their consent form is headed and I'll consider contacting them when I think I may be interested in any services they have to offer.

Assuming I'm not overrun with junk mail from them that is...

Meals in minutes...

I've long been a fan of cookery programmes on the TV and it always fascinates me how they manage to create superb meals in no time at all; more often than not with ingredients you're quite likely to have lying around.

It was challenge enough getting home last night with most routes between work, home (with recently acquired moat) and the local supermarket having closed so when I did finally get home feeling tired and rather too damp for my liking, I'm afraid my culinary muse had deserted me.

I would have hit the shops today but it seems the weekend sniffles have developed somewhat further resulting in my first "sickie" in probably a year or more. Fortunately, it's not the dreaded man-flu so there's no need to write my will just yet, but in-between nodding off in front of the UKTV Food programmes on TV, I've decided to see if I can be a bit more inventive for the rest of the week and make the odds and ends I've got last until the weekend.

Well, certainly a bit more imaginative than the cheese and Marmite on toast with Spiderman pasta shapes served last night...

I must find another hobby...

Thursday night saw the re-opening night at the Tap, which delivered everything promised except for the extended kitchen (about which I'd probably mis-heard anyway). In addition Richard provided the music for a good ol' fashioned sing along; rather too many songs for which I knew the words (probably as a result of having to watch too many Good Old Days shows as a kid).

Friday night was our chance to catch up with Dom. It's always good news when we hear he's paying a return visit as it's a cracking excuse for a few laughs and usually a few more beers while we put the world to rights. It was also a chance to catch up with Paul & Em who I haven't seen in too long and to join them for my first taste of sake (and possibly last) while we all continued our on-going discussions over favourite musical DVDs. As Saturday was supposed to be a light day, I wasn't too bothered at being out until gone 3am.

For our "lightweight" Saturday, I'd arranged to meet Dom for a few beers in the afternoon and rather foolishly we'd agreed to start at 12 noon and finish around teatime. Predictably, we didn't finish at teatime but we both agreed that 12 hours had been too long and we certainly shouldn't have been in any fit state to be discussing the matter.

Very surprisingly, this morning brought no ill side-effects whatsoever other than a few sniffles and a sore throat; and that I suspect as a result of too much ale induced snoring...

As the nights draw in...

So today is the longest day then. Really? It's flown along at it's usual pace from where I was.

Still, tonight does bring something of a change as I break the school night rule; yes I'm sneaking out for a couple of pints on a week night.

The special occasion that warrants such carefree abandon is the re-opening of the Tap after their closure for refurbishment. Well actually, they've only been closed for four days. And quite honestly, I don't usually get in there between Saturday night and the following Friday anyway.

It brings promise of a smoke free atmosphere a week before they have to, new decor and an extended kitchen (with rumours of hours to match).

Is that enough of an excuse? Clutching at straws I guess...

Good Friday...

In fact, great Friday would be nearer the mark.

Admittedly, I was more than a little surprised to find the bungalow had been magically transported to Atlantis over night, but I guess it makes a change to have to swim to the car in the morning.

I had finally had a good day in the office again. Sure it wasn't without it's challenges but everything was sorted by the time I left so there shouldn't be my too much to do over my long weekend.

The Tap kitchen closed early yesterday, but to keep the "take Mum out for Friday tea" tradition going, we decided to try out one of the pubs in the village. We have two pubs but as one of them is a generic chain pub, we opted for the other one which proved to be a great decision. Friendly staff, nice surroundings, a good pint and the food was excellent. It would take a lot to drag me away from my favourite pub but this would be a serious contender if I ever fancied a change.

A short taxi ride back to the Tap and although it was quiet to start with, we ended up with a great crowd in. I'd had a two or three calls to meet up with people over the weekend and as the pub is closing for a few days tonight, we arranged for everyone to meet last night (to make sure the beer didn't run out!). Throw in a couple of surprise visitors, a well fed jukebox, a new beer from my favourite local brewery and there you have it - the recipe for an excellent Friday night out...

As predicted...

There's no denying it, my site visits have taken a distinct upturn since last Friday and I can also see that almost half the search engine enquiries that landed here today are related to the aforementioned BB8 housemate.

Still a long way to go though before he catches up with the adorable Samantha Janus or the infamous bunnies who still reign supreme as the number one reason Google keeps sending people here.

Just to help make sure things stay that way, here's a couple more gratuitous pics.



Topless did someone say? I can't think why anyone would want to see a headless rabbit...

It's only a name...

Following the recent furore in the press surrounding Big Brother, I'll probably not bother watching any more of this series. I did notice however that one of the replacement characters is called Seany.

I remember sitting with the family one Christmas watching the latest Wallace & Gromit offering "A Close Shave" and still vividly recall the sinking feeling in my stomach when they took one look at the little sheep and Wallace declared "I think we'll call him Shaun". As it turned out, he was a harmless little character and has since found success on his own.

As for this chap on Big Brother, it probably won't make any difference to me as long as he doesn't do anything too notorious and at best, while would be fans are trying to find out more about him, they might stumble across my humble little blog and help to keep it as the number one Google search result for Seany...

Seanys laws of something or other...

Alright, I'm hardly likely to give Newton a run for his money but here are a few of my observations from today:

• This morning I proved once again that for every minute you leave early for work, there is a proportionate number of obstacles to delay your journey by the same amount of time.
• I've witnessed that for every really attractive contestant on a reality game show, there is an over-sensitive TV executive who feels the compelled to over-react to an incident despite none of the parties involved actually being offended.
• For every "tuit" job you get out of the way, there are at least two more to take its place.
• The dirty surfaces on adverts for cleaning products are ten times filthier than anything you would allow in your house.

I thought I'd worked out a connection between time and weight but I think I confused it with wait as despite reaching the top of their waiting list today, it's still about 6 weeks before I finally get inked for the second time...

Busy doing nothing...

I remember as a kid many years ago buying my Dad a round tuit for Christmas, not quite like the one pictured above, but with the same sentiment "I'll sort that that out when I get..."

OK, it's a well over-used cliche now and although I probably genuinely believed it would bump some toy repairs up the list at the time, I could probably use one myself these days.

However, I'm pleased to say that with my return to work pending tomorrow, I've managed to get a few round tuit jobs out of the way in between all of the other activities going on.

The biggest achievement of them all has to be that the steel components that have been cluttering up the garage floor for the last year or so have today finally taken the form of shelving across the back wall.

Unfortunately, a new item for the to do list has to be sort through all of the boxes that have just been dumped on the new shelves and clear sufficient space on the floor to increase the chances of getting a car in there again...

Water cheek...

Two posts for the price of one today.

Early last year I arranged with Anglian Water to fit a water meter on the grounds that the actual requirements of a single bloke should be less than their standard calculation based on the rateable value of my house. The direct debit was a little higher than I'd expected, but I was assured that it was the minimum starting payment. After the first 6 months, I was over 80 pound in credit, but was advised that they need to maintain the same direct debit instalment for the first year.

Well, the first year has now passed and having provided them with my latest reading, I was pleased (?) to see I'd accumuated over 170 pounds in credit. With a bit of time on my hands this afternoon, I decided to give them a ring to verify my overpayment and see exactly what they were planning to do.

Nothing apparently.

Seeing as I'd gone to all the effort of calling and bringing the situation to their attention, they did offer to give me a year's free (or more accurately, prepaid) water supply or they could refund the overtly excessive credit (my words obviously, not theirs) and reduce my direct debit by almost half. So, would I like my money back immediately or should I let them look after it free of charge for another year? Not the toughest decision I've ever had to make.

As the old joke goes, what is it that swans can do, ducks can't do and Anglian Water ought to do? Shove their bills up their arse...

Farty towels...

I appreciate the blog's been through a few more days of neglect, but for once I think it is with reasonable cause. I've just seen the 2007 family birthday campaign come to a close with two particularly pleasing outcomes this year.

Firstly, I've managed to get presents for birthday presents for Dad, Nephew, Little Sis, Mum and Brother in law within the last month and barely needed to leave the house. I'm not a great fan of giving money for presents as I think it usually reflects lack of imagination, but in these cases I had something specific in mind for each.

Dad wanted to update several bits for his PC so we all chipped in towards them
My nephew got a present too big to post so his Mum kindly collected locally for me
Little Sis and Brother-in-law got a years Caravan Club subscription so they can put the new camper van to good use
Mum has a return coach ticket to visit the family down south later on this year.

The second great result was that Little Sis and family came to stay for a few days to surprise Mum on her birthday. The surprise itself went pretty much to plan and I've enjoyed doing my Basil Fawlty bit whilst also playing host, chef and general climbing frame for the kids. It's always great having them all to stay as it puts the bungalow through it's paces of accomodating a full family and gives me an opportunity to play with some new recipes on a different scale.

So now they've all headed off in search of a proper pitch and park up for the night, my plans are to do little more than enjoying the last couple of days off work chilling out, gazing in amazement at someones idea of filling the Big Brother house with so many attractive young ladies and all the time knowing I'm probably old enough to be father to most of them...

TV or not TV...

It's not very often I get to sit and veg in front of the telly for any great length of time, but when these rare occasions had arisen of late, I was pleased to find that I could catch up on series I'd missed using the Virgin Media TV Choice on Demand. On a delicate Sunday recovery session, it was good to be able to finally watch entire series of the likes of Spaced, Green Wing, Shameless and Black Books while I drifted in and out of consciousness.

Although I was obviously clear-headed this morning, I was wide awake ridiculously early so thought I'd have a scan through to find something new to watch. The TV box clearly had different ideas on the grounds that it was something I needed to subscribe to, so I gave them a call. The two girls I spoke to were very helpful and friendly, albeit with around 40 minutes of waiting in between, but the punchline was that I (along with, I suspect, thousands of other customers) had unknowingly enjoyed a free trial subscription which had now expired.

So if you didn't know either, you do now...

Not very bright...

During a rare Friday night in this evening, I found myself watching the cricket highlights on the news. To be fair, I still maintain my complete lack of interest in the sport itself, but I'd seen the sponsor had their logo emblazoned on the pitch and was intrigued as to exactly who Jamodu were.

If the camera had been facing the opposite direction, I guess it might have been more obvious...

The bids are alright...

Despite the endless hours I've spent trawling through YouTube of late, I've somehow managed to miss the latest sensation that Johnnie Walker played on his show this morning.

There's a video of a group on there called The Zimmers singing "My Generation" and as the name might give away, they're a little older than the average bands hitting the airwaves right now. Apparently there's about forty of them, including a ninety year old singer and a good number of centarians amongst them so the collective age for the band rolls into the thousands.

Hand on heart, I still prefer the original but good on 'em for having a go - have a look for yourself here if for no other reason than to hear a guy in his nineties singing "I hope I die before I get old"...

Talk more for less...

Time to do my little public information bit - have you ever heard of Vonage?

Apparently they offer a telephone service through your broadband internet connection. Now, no matter how cheap they claim to be, it is only cheap and not a free service such as the one available to Skype users.

More to the point, they only appear to offer one-way communication. How do I know this? Well despite the numerous times they've called me over the last few weeks trying to tell me all about their service, the irritating bunch of bastards can't hear my repeated and increasingly short tempered declarations that I am not interested...

Where to start...

The problem is when I've left the blog for a week without contribution, I eventually find 5 minutes to get some of thoughts down but then can't decide which ramblings to go with.

Nothing of interest or significance (or that I could share without breaching company internet policy) has happened at work, so that already brings us up to Friday evening.

Friday night saw the finals of the Hobgoblin acoustic music competition in the Tap, but rather like Delcatto, I'd focused my attentions on enjoying the songs and the accompanying ales rather than listening out to hear who the winners were.

Saturday morning I ventured out onto public transport as I was probably over the limit to drive and figuring the bus was the more cost effective option than a taxi. Fine for getting into town but when I tried the same option for the return journey, the incorrect guides at the bus station and wrongly signed shelter left me waiting in the wrong place for almost an hour. Unfortunately, some poor driver who was probably only trying to help bore the brunt of my opinion of Stagecoach.

Without doubt, the highlight of the week and probably the year so far, was Steve and Mel's wedding Saturday afternoon. Regular readers may recall that I was due to head off to Toronto for a wedding later this year, but due to his Mum's ill health of late, they decided to change their plans.

Amazingly they managed to organize the whole event within a week and it had everything you could have asked for. Picturesque village church, sunny weather, beautiful bride, an amusing yet sincere vicar, hymns we all knew, a delicious three course meal at the reception, speeches that ranged from the typically humorous to deeply moving and overall, the company of a truly wonderful family. Although we only share the same surname, it was a real privilege to a part of their day.

Oh, and for the curious regulars amongst you, I'm still not in the slightest bit tempted myself. In fact there was never even a third date...

Europap...

Having unexpectedly enjoyed the event last year, I opted for a quiet night in last night, providing an excuse to empty a few dubiously dated cans of beer from the cupboard, throw a curry in the microwave and settle in front of the box to watch the Eurovision Song Contest.

I never really expected our offering to achieve very much this year although the silly outfits, cheesy dance routine and catchy-yet-camp song littered with double entendres always provided a slight hope of enticing a few votes. "Few" turned out to be quite accurate as it happens.

Despite my enthusiastic note taking, score allocating and general persistance to endure all 24 songs, I'm afraid it didn't live up to last year's event for me. The presentation of the show itself was impressive enough, but countries were still taking the formulaic route in an attempt to win even though the quality and performance of the actual songs is never reflected in the results. I actually quite liked three of the songs but it came as no surprise that none of them featured anywhere. My favourite, Hungary's "Unsubstantial Blues", never stood a chance really because it had no pretentions other than being just a bloody good song.

Terry Wogan's hilarious commentary remained the highlight of the evening's entertainment, but I doubt it will be enough to entice me to watch again next year. In future, when I want to spend a Saturday evening watching people dressed in ridiculous costumes and talking in languages I don't understand I'll take the slightly more plausible option of watching Doctor Who...

Full of surprises...

Thursday night I ventured out for a rare trip to the Tap quiz and despite our having scored 48 out of 52, we still didn't manage to win. Still, I shouldn't really continue to be surprised there really.

It was no real surprise that we all had an excellent Friday night out with the chance to catch up with Steve from Toronto, Dom from Middlesborough and for us all to join in Little Em's birthday celebrations.

Despite spending the best part of twelve hours in the Tap on Saturday, I was pleasantly surprised to find myself leaving the premises in a much healthier condition than my preceding reputation would usually indicate.

I got a last minute invitation to join a few friends for a meal Sunday evening after which we wandered down to catch the last of the Cleethorpes Beer Festival. Aside from the unexpected invitation, I was truly surprised to find a few beers left so late on the last night and some very nice ones amongst them.

Pete Frenzy did a sterling job on Sunday arranging all of the accommodation for our Trans-American road trip planned for later in the year. No surprise at all that he did such a good job, but I didn't expect it all to be done so quickly.

Back to work this morning after a long weekend to be swamped with the usual onslaught of crap to wade through certainly brought no surprise whatsoever.

Today's great surprise was on arriving home from work, I found that the back garden which had previously been on the brink of replacing depleted rain forests had been transformed in to a nicely manicured lawn while I'd been out. Reluctant to let my Uncle keep returning on a "favour" basis, he's agreed to become my regular gardener which is great for us both - I get to keep great looking gardens with no input whatsoever on my part and he gets to earn a few extra quid in return for looking in whenever he's in the area.

Next on the list is a personal trainer so I can get someone to use the running machine for me while I'm out...